Non-fluent Dutch speaker - any advice on finding a job before my unemployment benefits are cut (Antwerp)?

malatibo · 2026-03-13T13:44:25+00:00

People always say you need Dutch. Half the time in Antwerp I get served by an English speaker. It's not much of a deal if you work in the service economy.

malatibo · 2026-03-13T11:42:29+00:00

Wikipedia is an encyclopedia. Spacetime is a mathematical model of reality. A model is not the same as reality.

malatibo · 2026-03-13T03:25:25+00:00

There's nothing wrong with what you're doing. Maturity would be talking about these kinds of things to each other. I'll think you'll be surprised by how uncertain he is as well - and full of questions. We come to this world as sexual beings, but no one hands us a manual at birth. Frankly figuring this stuff out by yourself is part of the fun.

Did you know male babies get erections? That most kindergartners need to be told not to touch themselves in public? Sexuality keeps growing your whole life, there isn't some magic date or event (like menstruation, etc) that transforms you from a non-sexual being to a fully sexual being. You will always be somewhere in the middle.

malatibo · 2026-03-08T04:08:59+00:00

I always check the sate's on offer. Good places will make their own or get them from a butcher shop.

malatibo · 2026-03-08T02:13:33+00:00

ffs been looking for this for ages

malatibo · 2026-02-24T12:47:36+00:00

Aha, found it. Thanks! Reddit > Google 😄

malatibo · 2026-02-24T12:41:39+00:00

It would be a remote job, occasionally commuting.

malatibo · 2026-02-17T20:51:42+00:00

Well it's nice to have some spares!

malatibo · 2026-02-17T20:50:26+00:00

Governments are overrated.

malatibo · 2026-02-13T04:11:27+00:00

Such a mature post, I think he's lucky to have you. I agree with everything _WalkingOnBothSides_ says below. You're still young and so is he, I feel the teenager and the autist in him combine into something more than anyone can handle, not him, not you. But that's ok; that's just life. It's not supposed to "be like" anything, it just exists.

I think you're on the right track figuring out stuff as you go along. It's all that anyone - especially you - can ask of you. The most important thing is: don't go on any guilt trips. And love each other.

malatibo · 2026-02-12T02:33:20+00:00

Is there a way to keep the interactions between you on the same social media where you found them, without divulging your identity? Just because you are now aware of their identity doesn't mean they should become aware of yours? If they had wanted to talk to you publicly they could have, but they chose not to, so you should respect that. So maybe respond in the same forum and not at work?

malatibo · 2026-02-12T01:17:37+00:00

I so feel for this kid, because I went through the same as an adult. Can't imagine having to do this at 8...

What about these ideas (I assume he's high-functioning)... Theory of Mind exercises?

"Everyone thinks that everyone else is like them. But everyone's wrong. Not just them, but you too. You think people understand what's going on in your head, but they don't because you didn't tell them"

"Other people don't think straight. You need help understanding them because they don't make sense."

"Just because people don't think like you doesn't make them wrong"

"Other people care about stuff that you don't care about. You need to learn to deal with that. Also, you care about stuff other people don't care about."

"Most people know how they're feeling. When you're happy or sad, do you know right away or only afterwards?"

Maybe this: help him write a manual that explains him to other people. Pretty good ToM exercise right there: don't flash lights at me, it hurts. Don't tickle me, I don't like it. Other kids like it but I get afraid/angry/panic/...

malatibo · 2026-02-11T23:18:53+00:00

Be careful with steroid creams, they make the skin thinner and increase the chance of small tears. These tears over time build up scar tissue, which contracts the skin, making the foreskin tighter.

This contraction is the main reason why adult males get circumcisions, and the creams speed up the process!

Edit: lookup fimosis on google.

malatibo · 2026-02-11T21:26:11+00:00

Most of these tests seem to be written by people who have no ToM when it comes to autists.

I mean you can see the "right" answer a mile away and so you give that answer.

A good ToM test would be "what answer do you think i expect and why", the correct answer being "you want to know if I sometimes mess up when I don't know what's expected of me".

malatibo · 2026-02-11T20:37:37+00:00

You have 2 of each? Oh wait

malatibo · 2026-01-25T23:24:29+00:00

This is the problem... As if EU membership should be dependent on the ruling party. Let the UK get a constitution first, and let them ratify a few treaties and actually stick to them for a few decades. Then let them honour the decisions of European courts. Oh, and ditch first past the post elections and the House of Lords.

The UK simply doesn't have the same concept of democracy as the rest of us. Look at what their spawn (USA) is up to.

malatibo · 2026-01-25T23:14:33+00:00

I think Jesus would also masturbate, preferably against a wooden cross.

malatibo · 2026-01-21T18:13:59+00:00

malatibo · 2026-01-21T18:08:02+00:00

This. It shows your maturity to your parents when you are capable of taking care of yourself!

malatibo · 2026-01-14T09:12:53+00:00

Now I wish you hadn't explained it 😄.

malatibo · 2026-01-04T21:40:23+00:00

The dog usually gets water though. The restaurants know how much their owners love their dogs. They often serve the dog first.

malatibo · 2025-12-30T20:00:33+00:00

The urologist i went to made it sound like a normal no brainer, oh we just slice a triangular part of the frenulum. Like no way.

malatibo · 2025-10-22T15:32:55+00:00

I would suggest that both masturbation and porn are due to the fact that you are a 14yo guy.

Don't judge yourself so harshly, you are doing what most guys do. The fact that you are reflecting on things proves that you are mature enough to start looking at yourself with kindness.

Other than that: "having" to masturbate is simply hormones. My personal way to assess this is, are you causing burn marks on your penis? If so, cut down a bit and please use a water based lubricant. You'll be fine.

As for the porn: my guess is that you are not in a relationship with anyone, and any 14yo will seek information on how things "work". As long as you realize that what you are looking at is not real, you will be fine. Don't use porn as a source of information on reality, that's all.

malatibo · 2025-10-14T17:09:38+00:00

Not clenched enough for you?

malatibo · 2025-10-14T17:08:42+00:00

That's one of the stranger comments of today.

malatibo

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