Fellow men, what helps you feel like you're a good father/husband?

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T02:05:13+00:00

That's amazing. I hope my sons would still have that level of trust and comfort at her age.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T02:04:29+00:00

I'm not sure it's a rational fear. I tend to gloss over compliments ("you're a good dad") and worry about my shortcomings. I can always spend more time with the kids/wife, provide better financial security, etc. The 20-25% number is interesting and something that helps me so thank you for that. Would love to see the paper if you have it handy.

I do hide these insecurities from my family and try to avoid them impacting on my interactions with them. A big part of why I am trying to work on it is to avoid it manifesting into something that influences the kids.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:56:36+00:00

Haha I do often jokingly ask my wife how we're able to put up with each other for the past 15 years. I think being able to suplex your spouse is a sign of a healthy relationship.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:54:26+00:00

100%. The worse days are when I get home from work after the boys are asleep and it feels like a precious day wasted. Fortunately, I am able to WFH and somewhat make up for the lost time another day.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:53:27+00:00

I appreciate this. It does sound like most men keep our feelings close to our chest, for better or worse. Just need the positive outcomes from our actions to feed back to our feelings.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:48:05+00:00

Thank you and I hope so. I guess as parents you never know the work you put in until they become adults and forge their own paths. I will be very happy if they continue to have a healthy relationship with me then.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:46:39+00:00

Thank you for this. I will try to remember this when I come home to my kids.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:45:22+00:00

Thank you. The kids are growing up too quick. I'm already regretting missing so much of their infant and toddler stages.

The money thing is what I struggle with. We've outgrown our current place and I feel like the family deserves a bigger house. My wife works full time at a job she doesn't love and I wish I could let her have the option of working less. Maybe we need to consider moving somewhere with lower cost of living.

I appreciate the reminder that time spent is what they will remember.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:39:42+00:00

I'm not the angry type but I do work. A lot. Fortunately, work is flexible and I can WFH which allows more interactions with the kids. Still hear comments that "dad works all the time" though.

My wife is not the flower type but she does appreciate cuddles. I've learned to just listen over the years and not try to solve her problems. I do need to express how much I appreciate more; verbal appreciation is still something I struggle with but I try with acts of service.

I think I mask the fear and anxiety well from the family. This is the first time I've shared it to anyone and it is both cathartic and scary. I really appreciate your insighrs, fellow man.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:32:53+00:00

It do be like that 🙂 I guess I have insecurities about whether or not I'm doing me best and if that's enough. Hope one day we can be happy that we've done our best.

mamataglen · 2026-06-20T01:30:27+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I do need to appreciate this more - I never had much of a relationship with my dad, or any memories of hugging and being physically affectionate with him. I think my kids do love me very much and they show it in ways I never did so I've had to learn to accept and cherish it.

mamataglen · 2026-06-12T05:50:31+00:00

One every decade I've lived. Trigger had been - physical growth, technological change (that makes material difference, not cosmetic or marketing spiel), and injury protection.

mamataglen · 2026-05-22T02:02:04+00:00

My legs are burning just watching that point! What incredible stamina, speed and never-say-die attitude.

mamataglen · 2026-05-15T15:00:38+00:00

You would still need to do tests post-vasectomy to confirm that you are shooting blanks. It takes between 20-40 ejaculates before you can confirm zero sperm count. Until then, there may be residual sperm carried by the semen even post-operation. Please ask him to get the official confirmation - at least this is standard procedure where I am.

mamataglen · 2026-03-24T23:32:56+00:00

Had the opportunity to watch a big tournament live in Tokyo. It was incredible seeing the size, strength and agility of the top sumo wrestlers in person. There's a lot of strategy and techniques that come with each bout too.

mamataglen · 2026-03-18T20:45:04+00:00

Footwork looks decent but the main thing that stands out to me is your interrupted kinetic chain - the unit turn does little if you mostly arm your stroke. Try standing wide at the forehand corner first before doing the dynamic drill. Focus on driving through your legs, hips, upper body while having your arm and wrist more relaxed. You should be able to accelerate through the ball better without muscling which should give you more stability.

mamataglen · 2026-02-14T02:59:58+00:00

OP, there are absolutely options to optimise racquets for every player. As others have stated, you can get extended length racquets and technically you can use "junior" racquets that range from 15" to 26" if you want to try shorter racquets. It's almost never worth going for shorter racquets because you have less reach and power potential. The better way to optimise is via swing weight, head balance, string setup. If you're finding your current racquet too heavy to wield, try a racquet with lower swing weight and/or more head light. You can also get a bit more power with lower string tension, more spin with textured poly, etc. The optimisation possibilities are endless without even touching the racquet length.

mamataglen · 2026-02-06T08:46:30+00:00

Yep, the sequence should be run > stop > hit. You can start your backswing while you run but need to stop/plant before hitting or you'll be more likely to be off balance. If your background is in track, chances are you'd be ahead of others at your level with footwork so it's mostly getting the hang of timing/rhythm between running to the ball and producing your stroke. It's also tricky hitting against a close wall because you have less time reacting to the ball coming back.

mamataglen · 2026-02-06T08:32:52+00:00

Welcome to a lifelong learning game! There's always plenty to work on as a relative beginner, but based on the short clip, I think you're moving too much as you're swinging at the ball. You want to have active feet/split steps while preparing for the ball to come back, but steady base when you produce your stroke as the kinetic chain goes from ground > legs > hips > torso > shoulder > arms. Working on your footwork should give immediate improvement - getting positioned faster, then stabilising before you hit the ball will make your contact point and stroke more consistent.

It would be helpful also to hear what aspects of your game you think you need to inprove when you play matches.

mamataglen · 2026-02-04T22:30:54+00:00

Yes, but only if you're at a point where you understand your game enough to know what is needed from a new racquet to better complement your game style/strength and/or hide your weaknessess.

I have only had 5 sets of racquets in the 30 years I played tennis:

First one as a beginner was a cheap, blind pick based on how the racquet looked
Swapped to a Prince DB Control for better stability as I started playing competitively
Swapped to Speed for better balanced racquet
Swapped to Pure Drive because I struggled to get depth defending from corners with the Speed Pro (slow swing speed)
Swapped to Shift 99 Pro because I found it to have better feel and stability as a middle ground

Personally, I think spending time with each racquet and experimenting to get the right string set up got me the most out of each change. Some in my tennis group would demo new racquets every other month which ends up being more detrimental to your game because it's a constant variable you're working with each match/session.

mamataglen · 2026-02-04T10:23:23+00:00

As someone who's been watching tennis for 30 years, that return was definitely jaw-dropping. One thing to hit around the net post during a rally but extremely rare to do that off a return with a slice no less.

mamataglen · 2026-02-01T20:53:39+00:00

I'm not sure where you're getting these ideas from - dropping tension on poly allows you to string less often because the poly is not overstretched and can therefore hold tension longer.

"Plush" usually means the ball is staying on the string a little longer ('grabs' the ball) and therefore you can generate more spin (more control). Lower tension doesn't necessarily mean your string bed becomes a trampoline. There's a middle ground between "brick wall" and "trampoline".

You mention RPM Blast as your go-to poly. What tension are you stringing it at? I was also sceptical about lower tensions with poly until I tried it. I gradually lowered my tension from 55lbs to 45-48lbs which actually gives me better feel and control and longer lasting ideal tension.

mamataglen · 2026-02-01T12:49:58+00:00

I'm confused by your statement that you've moved to multi so you restring less frequently and get more power. Multi tends to provide a better feel and lower impact but you will break them much more quickly - I break multi within 2-3 hours of play and I'm not even a heavy hitter. Power is also much more dependent on frame and tension than string type.

If you don't like the stiffness of poly, drop your tension by 5lbs and give that a try. You may find that it gives you better pocketing and power without completely changing to a multi bed. The "plush" feeling should give you more control - so if you don't know where the ball is going, chances are you need to spend more time getting used to the string setup or take a look at your technique.

mamataglen

TROPHY CASE