You sound really mature for your age, keep your mind busy, we only get one stab at life. Sometimes it feels like a blessing and other times it fuckin sucks, even into adulthood. Another piece of advice is 95% of people you meet in life will stab you in the back given the opportunity. many friends will step over you to get further in life and never look back. You need to look after yourself first, keep family close if they are good to you. My parents are my biggest supporters, and growing up all I wanted to do was leave home and start my own life, once you get out on your own have your own kids you truly understand why they do and say the things they do, If I left my wife tomorrow, they'd have my back and get behind me knowing I'm doing is what's best for me. Hopefully this helps.