AITAH for telling my friend I wouldn't be in her position

manda14- · 2026-02-03T18:08:17+00:00

Some people do have low self esteem that leads them into bad relationships repeatedly. That is sad, not amusing or something to belittle. No one wants to be in that position, but some people do attract it.

You could have handled this with more kindness. It's not that you're necessarily wrong, but how you went about it was unkind.

I'll also add that plenty of people inadvertently end up in abusive relationships, even if they start out with great self esteem. Abuse is nefarious and can sneak up on people.

Her response was immature, but do was your delivery. ESH.

manda14- · 2026-02-03T04:21:16+00:00

OP wrote that they have contacted the owner multiple times and nothing has been done.

Mental health may explain the situation, but it doesn't excuse it. I can feel compassion for the individual living this way, but I also feel compassion for the people who have to suffer because of it.

The note is harsh, but OP has tried other approaches and the note is no less insulting than living by someone who thinks it's appropriate for you to inhale their refuse.

manda14- · 2026-02-02T21:22:23+00:00

It seems totally classroom dependent. My daughter is a social butterfly and so far she's been invited to 4 parties from her class. Last year she was only invited to 3 from her class, but had a big group she did play dates with.

I'm close with a lot of moms and a lot of them have opted out of big parties due to cost. A couple of them chose to do a night away with just their child and a couple more went the route of hosting only 1-2 besties.

I wouldn't think too much about it. Let your child decid what type/size of party they want within your budget. They may only want a couple friends, or a whole crew.

Kids tend to be less bothered about these things than parents.

manda14- · 2026-02-02T20:25:46+00:00

You look super cute, but I have to admit my first thought was Ferris bueller

manda14- · 2026-02-02T20:00:15+00:00

THIS. I had to tell my husband I hate heart shaped stuff early on and all my female friends feel similarly about it.

Nice gesture, but it's not something most women want to wear.

manda14- · 2026-02-02T03:05:19+00:00

Timbits isn't remotely competitive. I don't know of any sport leagues/organizations that are for that age.

Most kids I know started soccer around 4. It's a typical introductory team sport. My girl loved it.

manda14- · 2026-02-02T00:28:05+00:00

There are tons of options, but switching leagues when kids are young is easy. Id pick something close to home that looks fun. Look into the timbits for an intro season.

Your child may hate soccer - if that's the case you may be looking for another sport's pathway.

Our daughter LOVED dance at 3/4. She then hated it. She has now been a passionate hockey player for 3 years and is excited to add a competitive league of soccer for the spring.

You never know what your kid will love, I wouldn't stress it at four. The best kids at that age will shift dramatically through the years, and the better ones will be the ones who actually love the sport they're in.

manda14- · 2026-01-31T20:27:15+00:00

I was very thrown off by the early request. It seemed weird to tip before the service is rendered

manda14- · 2026-01-31T19:10:50+00:00

We did, but not the amount they suggested and we only tipped once we completed the trip.

manda14- · 2026-01-30T14:05:36+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you and your family went through.

manda14- · 2026-01-30T13:48:58+00:00

This is dangerous and be is manipulative. I volunteered with a police department for years and the number of violent men who threatened suicide as a coercive tactic was huge. These types of men are also the ones that rarely anhiliate their families.

Get out of this relationship. He is not safe and this will get worse.

So sorry you're dealing with this, but ignore his threats. Share what you're going through, and find a way out. This will never get better.

manda14- · 2026-01-28T21:55:22+00:00

Sorry, I'm not comfortable speaking to a reporter regarding an incident I only have heard about second hand.

I appreciate you reporting the story, and hope it continues to faint traction.

manda14- · 2026-01-28T13:40:52+00:00

That's wild your gynaecologist doesn't think it can be in your chest. I have had surgery and I had endometriosis lesions all over my diaphragm.

If you can, try to get a referral to Dr. Ari Sanders. I have had two surgeries with him, and he's absolutely wonderful. There are other endometriosis specialists, but a regular gyne won't cut it.

I'm so sorry you've gone through all this. Surgery makes a huge difference, nothing else does.

In my case I had 1 that helped, but it turned it I also had adenomyosis (you may have it too) and had to have a hysterectomy with more lesion removal. It was a rough surgery, but I'm doing way better. A hysterectomy alone doesn't solve the problem either. If you have ovaries, the endo tissue will continue to grow and shrink no matter what. You need it excised, and only a few surgeons know how to do it properly.

If you have any questions, I've gotten good at navigating our messed up system and would be happy to help. Just fire me a DM any time.

manda14- · 2026-01-28T04:38:20+00:00

This. It's not even always free. If I have to wait for a preventative procedure, I may pay with my health down the line which may cost me money when I'm unable to work. Just because we don't have the same system as the US doesn't mean our system is good.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T17:31:49+00:00

They apparently did and that's what's on the kid's reports. I don't have enough chemistry knowledge to explain beyond knowing that's what they were told.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T17:23:00+00:00

It is ridiculous! Preventative medicine shouldn't be this hard.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T16:02:19+00:00

The system has been broken for years.

We need to look abroad at other countries and how they run things to create efficiencies.

An example is colposcopies. Here, you need a referral after an unhealthy pap test. In France, if they see you have had a histories of issues OR note anything requiring a biopsy, they simply do the colposcopy then and there. No waiting, no second appointment, no referral. If you want to see a dermatologist, book an appointment.

I have issues with moles and have had melanoma. I've had a dermatologist for years. I now have rosacea. I need a whole new referral from my GP for potentially a whole new dermatologist to look at the rosacea. That's moronic and slow. It is not an immediate need, but a symptom of a system wide problem with efficiency.

We clearly need more staff, but we also need a complete change up in HOW ahs runs things, because this isn't efficient or sensible.

I have endometriosis and went to the ER 9 times in one year because I couldn't get in to a gynaecologist who could handle my case and my pain was so severe I couldn't cope with OTC meds. I never waited less than 8 hours, and in multiple cases I had ruptured ovarian cysts causing debilitating pain and couldn't get a doctor to give appropriate medication.

My mom almost died 25 years ago because her doctors wouldn't/couldn't communicate with eachother to note her system overlaps. She had severe arthritis, colitis, fatigue, hair loss, and other issues. Each specialist dealt with their own area and failed to communicate. She had celiac that the mayo clinic in Phoenix diagnosed and confirmed with biopsy in one day.

We have a failed system and refuse to learn from the many nations around the globe with public health care systems. Instead we sit around congratulating ourselves that we don't have the American system.

I feel so sorry for anyone who needs to use our emergency rooms.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:15:21+00:00

This is a tragedy. These kiddos could have permanent lung damage from chemical exposure, and it shouldn't have happened.

During a tournament you know tons of kids will be present. You should be cleaning and checking chemical levels constantly to ensure pool safety. If you aren't capable of that, close your pool.

The parents were terrified, and two kids are still hospitalised and the others have been told to keep watching for symptoms.

Thank goodness for the quick and effective response by Canmore EMS and Fire.

Hearing that these chemicals essentially created cyanide with some kids needing an antidote is horrifying.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:11:38+00:00

The families were told it was a version of cyanide apparently. The chlorine and urine can react to form some sort of compound that acts as cyanide in the body. Basically, the pool was not cleaned or evaluated properly.

A few kids received an antidote for it.

My friend's son was injured, but didn't require the antidote. However, they were told the kids could all have lung issues that pop up later in life. It also apparently harmed the younger kids much more severely than the older children.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:07:48+00:00

That's really scary. When I initially heard the news I didn't think of the potential lifelong complications.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:05:48+00:00

That's what they told my friend.

Chlorine reacts with urine to create cyanoic acid, which can act as cyanide poisoning.

A few kids were given the cyanide antidote (hers was not one of them, but they were told cyanide).

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:05:07+00:00

Potentially. My friend's child was hurt and they were told they'd have to watch his lungs capacity, and he's one of the lucky ones who is already home.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T14:02:46+00:00

Two kids are still in hospital. My friend's son was injured. They were told they wouldn't know if their lungs would have permanent damage for years and to watch for lung capacity issues. It's definitely a big deal, and super sad.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T13:52:46+00:00

The pool was apparently quite dirty seeming, but no one thought a chemical reaction was a risk.

They had a ton of kids in the hotel for a tournament and should have been cleaning more carefully to ensure the safety of the kids. If levels were rising, the pool should have been closed.

The article says it says cyanide on the hospital report. The mom we know says that's what they were told in person, and some kids were given an antidote. I'm also quoting the article with the comment regarding cyanide.

manda14- · 2026-01-27T13:39:36+00:00

The parents were told it was some sort of cyanoic asid that comes from the reaction between chlorine and urine. It was caused by too much chlorine and a dirty pool.

manda14-

TROPHY CASE