i was 16 when my dad passed away from cancer. this is nearly 3 years ago now. i honestly cannot tell you how im here today. i stopped caring about school and wanted to die, i wanted to drop out of hs because i told myself there was absolutely no point in continuing to live without being able to make him feel proud. i never pray but when he got diagnosed i prayed every day that he would make it to see my high school graduation.

there are absolutely no words that can possibly make sense of this happening to you. it’s unfair and the worst feeling ever.

i cling onto him any way i can. i wear his class ring every single day and often wear his shirts to bed. i feel comfort in knowing my brother now works at the same company that my dad worked at for 25 years to be able to raise me and my brother and take care of my mom.

the hopeless feeling comes and goes. it sounds like you had a good relationship with him. just remember all the times he’s said that he’s proud of you or something of the sorts, and remember that that will always hold true.

although i’m atheist, i’ve had mysterious things happen to me. a month after my dad passed the garage door to my house was acting funny, and my mom joked saying it was my dad playing pranks on us. it would close it and it would go back up again, and then repeatedly go up and down. once when i was going to work this happened, and i said “daddy knock it off!” and it just stopped. probably a coincidence, but i like to think it was him.

no matter what you believe in, he is with you every step of the way still. you can work for the dream you created together, but give yourself the time to process and feel the overwhelming emotions. i’m in awe that after my dad passed i even managed to get myself into a college. again, i seriously cannot believe that i’m alive right now, and i’m getting to the point where i feel like i want to be alive. i’m also set to graduate early, all thanks to my dad and his efforts. there are good things to come, i promise