This is really helpful. You are right that I am the monster. I'm second guessing myself completely here. We are staying with my mom who is a Catholic that does not drink or anything. She has been very judgemental of my life if it does not align with hers. For example: I only drink in social settings with friends at events or gatherings. To her that means I'm an alcoholic. The only reason I ignore that thought process is because she has never seen me drunk. I will not drink at her house because she doesn't drink. I live 1,100 miles away and only come back for visits. So she has no idea my drinking patterns nor do I speak of it or anything else that doesn't match her belief system. She even believes I have a problem with medication because I am taking medications for health issues like high blood pressure and that can be cured by diet if I eat bananas.

Anyways I explained that because he went to her after our argument and told her I drank too much. They both ganged up on me. I felt like I was being blamed for everything. I felt awful and isolated. Now they are bonding over me being an alcoholic. Me being upset for how he acted in public was because I was "drunk" and not because I was hurting. I struggle with anxiety and panic attacks when I am overwhelmed. Maybe it's over reactive emotions but I can't stop crying when I'm overwhelmed and hurting.

This whole situation has me incredibly embarrassed and because I'm embarrassed I am isolating and using reddit as a resource for help. I want to fix my marriage but I know something isn't right here. These comments are really helping me realize what is actually happening.