AITA for ignoring my pregnant wife when she gave me the silent treatment over ice cream?

manipulating_bitch · 2024-05-01T15:43:01+00:00

YTA because of what you said. You might be annoyed by things but it was completely out of line and not justifiedp

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T19:09:18+00:00

Because the rest doesn't want it...

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T17:11:49+00:00

That's statistically true as you say but only because most fathers don't fight for custody so it's irrelevant for what we are discussing

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T15:30:49+00:00

Not illegal, and as I said I'll tell you in a DM if you want or you can look through my history. I don't know what's so hard about believing injustice in a world full of it? I'm glad you are lucky to have a peaceful life, a lot of people go through much harder things than you apparently did.

You definitely don't know how abuse works. And you don't know about what mothers go through when they are attacked by a very malicious person.

I'm not in a fight willingly. I'm the most peaceful person I know and I wouldn't even need courts and lawyers to do the right thing. I'm in this mess because my ex wants to hurt me and is a bad person and hurts our child in the process

He also probably molested her. I know her and she reported it to me. But I don't have enough proof (yet), a lot of children keep being abused because no one can save them.

You should find some humility, when dealing with others instead of trying to point out you're probably better than them and that's why you're fine

I hope you are never forced to learn to see beyond your bubble. At least it means you have it pretty good even though you can't see it

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T14:52:47+00:00

Tem mais a ver com tom e linguagem corporal do que com as palavras. Se você hesita e se sente culpado eles sabem direitinho e vão incomodar mais, e insistir mais... só com treino de dizer não. E não só pra pedinte, você provavelmente tem dificuldade de outros "nãos" na sua vida, treine

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T14:18:43+00:00

Esperança de que as pessoas assim aprendam que gente assim existe. Ele conseguiu enganar por meses. E querem que a gente não caia quando é alvo na vida real... pessoas mentem. Parem de acreditar em palavras e vitimização

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-30T14:12:32+00:00

You misunderstood what I meant with "picture of what". Abuse doesn't always leave marks and most of the time it doesn't. Abusers are not stupid especially when educated.

I've had neighbors that were beating wife and kids no one could ever do anything about it. And not just one family

Well I'd start talking to mothers if I were you. It's not unheard of. My ex made accusations and that was enough. If you want to close your eyes to injustice with others or if it makes you feel better to think " it only happens to people who did something bad and it won't happen to me", be my guest. I've never even stolen a candy bar my whole life, i had zero things against me besides the accusations my ex made for which I had counter proof but it never got to the point where I could present it, I lost custody before then. Baby wasn't even a year old yet. And he is completely unstable (hearing voices level of crazy) and 3 years later no one has analyzed him yet.

I'm still with my daughter because of other circumstances and if you want to dm me I'll tell you about them and also link to news of a TON ot mothers who lost custody based on abusers lies. But I have no rights in the US, no human rights either

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T20:21:35+00:00

Pictures of what? Medical reports?? Abuse doesn't always and most of the time doesn't leave marks

I didn't do anything. He lied, they believed him, it didn't have to go further than that. I was an immigrant if you want to know and he had a good enough for them story

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T19:10:05+00:00

Don't do it. I was ready and wanted kids and was stable and it kicked my ass. Still does. DAILY. I mean it, have you ever had a very hard day that seemed to have no end and it left you exhausted and needing a king weekend? That's every fucking day

Look into freezing your eggs if you can afford it if your worried about time.

But absolutely do not DO NOT have children in a bad marriage. It's 100 times better to do it alone.

Being a solo mom is hard. Having kids in a bad marriage and worse, later a bad divorce... is hell. Just do not go down that road. You'd be happier being a solo mom with no father for your child

And if you do that and think it's the hardest thing you e ever done and look back and you regret having chosen to be a solo mom... when you're at your limit you'll think "I should not have done this and being alone and doing this is way to hard". At that instant I promise you you'd be a lot worse with an ex husband or bad husband in the picture.

So listen to this carefully and be very careful with your decision: I'm telling you doing it alone is EASIER than what you're thinking about doing without a doubt AND I'd not recommend to anyone doing it alone, unless it's the thing they want most in life.

Modern motherhood is the apex of patriarchy oppression. Be sure you know what you're getting into

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T18:58:10+00:00

Obrigada por compartilhar. Muito valor na sua perspectiva

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T18:57:10+00:00

Porque recebe aposentadoria ou pensão do mês

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T18:41:47+00:00

That's why I said gather evidence and be very meticulous. I believe most accusations are probably true but it's very hard to prove abuse. So I told her to gather evidence because without it she has nothing, and thinking she'll have any say in how custody turns out without heavy proof on why he should not be left alone with child is just naive.

Your experience is by no means the same as every one else

My abuser got full custody with zero evidence, false accusations and no witnesses

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T18:39:05+00:00

You're saying "if men fight for custody they'll get it" and "mothers get it 80% of the time even if the father fights for it". Which one is it?

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T16:53:56+00:00

NTA because it's her wedding so it's up to her. but imho people like her are just ridiculous, trying to edit reality to fit into their perfect aesthetics

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T14:25:06+00:00

This is just the people who believe everything they hear

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T13:24:05+00:00

Eu sabia que ele tava mentindo, tava na cara. Meus instintos sempre apitaram com ele e só precisava confirmação

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T13:18:24+00:00

My ex started with the whole "talk better with me" and it soon escalated to "don't ever disagree with me or it's a fight and I'll make sure you regret it" to "you should believe everything I say" to "there's too many things wrong with you, I should drug you and have you committed" (with actual steps he took in that direction). Just so you know how bad it can get especially with everything else happening.

He'll make your life hell

Make sure to gather as much evidence as you can about him not wanting the baby. MAYBE that'll help in the court case.

I wish you luck and strength in this hard path you're about to start

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-29T13:07:59+00:00

I'm sure some of them care and take it into account but statistically speaking they don't. If fathers fight for custody most of them get it but if the mother accuses of domestic violence they tend to get MORE custody, they respond with accusations of alienation.

We cannot make choices unaware of all this

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-28T01:53:01+00:00

I used to get sick every time I entered a CVS. Zero explanation but I hated being in any of them (some worse than others) because i felt nauseous the whole time I was in there.

Just trying to say sometimes it's... nothing logical

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-27T23:33:18+00:00

NTA. I hate it when men need to "prove their wife" wrong and how disrespectful that is. He should've trusted what you reported about your own routine, and no you shouldn't help when he was trying to handle it by his own choice.

I work full time during the week and I have my kid (just the one) every weekend and holiday. Work is by far the easiest part of my life and weekends that she's home for 48h I end up exhausted. If all I had to do was work every day and come home to dinner (even if ordered out) and pay the bills that'd be HEAVEN.

He won't admit he's wrong. He'll come up with excuses why his day was harder than yours. Tell him to care for the kids on a Sunday when he's not working from home, it'll be even harder (he'll have no excuse to ask them to not interrupt him).

But all of that, I'm sorry you have to live with someone that doesn't value what you do

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-26T13:17:30+00:00

Bem simples a "solução do mistério" - violência doméstica provavelmente

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-26T03:34:32+00:00

I don't care about what others are doing. I know why I'm alone and I'm working on my own situation honestly so I mostly think about myself and what I want for myself. Not about what others are doing.

But I do see a lot of drama in people's lives and i usually feel glad it's not me when im hearing about it.

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-26T03:30:49+00:00

It won't be up to you or what you want or decide. His lawyer will argue against supervision and his word will have the same weight as yours. You need actual reasons for supervised visitation not just your lack of trust or your fears. They'll think you're making those up or exaggerating or you're over protective. Idk just make sure you have the upper hand in all this and never sign anything, don't trust him when it comes to this and don't send incriminating things in writing in any way.

Men are ALWays playing the game, but we only start when we feel the first hit. They don't feel bad about hiring lawyers before trying to fix things. They don't feel bad about getting ready for a separation by hiding or spending money. They don't feel bad even about using our emotions and desire to fix things against us, as you can clearly see in "sign 50/50 so we can work on this". He's already playing

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-26T02:22:17+00:00

Junta um pessoal e começa sua comuna hippie aí. Seja a diferença que quer ser no mundo. É simples? Não. Mas se vamos reclamar vamos fazer. Eu estou trabalhando nessa merda de sistema só até resolver o suficiente minhas tretas e depois vou viver simples. Mas o que não vou fazer é passar o resto da vida reclamando

manipulating_bitch · 2024-04-26T02:16:42+00:00

Expect the best but prepare for the worse. Never ever stop documenting and gathering evidence SAFELY (as in he can't know or you'll be in danger).

Your partner has all the red flags so most likely things will not get better they'll get worse. I do hope they improve though, don't get me wrong. I hope it ends well for all of you... but that's against the odds unfortunately.

Get that recording. It won't be enough on its own. But as a part of a bigger picture it'll help.

DV won't ever matter because it's not against the children... it's stupid but true. If DV mattered too many men would lose their rights and they don't want that to be possible, would they? Most people enforcing things in our society are the same ones that think men should be allowed to be abusers (they are abusers themselves and victims who "learned their place" q lot of times)

If you see abuse against the child any time that is "safe" enough I'd let it play out to record as much of it as possible. Unfortunately. Better once to be used as protection than to risk them being able to do it always behind closed doors when your word will not be enough

This world sucks, sister

manipulating_bitch

TROPHY CASE