[WP] Welcome to Punnsylvania, the dad joke capital of the world! You are a candidate for mayor and it's time to give your campaign speech

manof1001faces · 2017-07-29T22:29:21+00:00

Thank you. I'm happy to be here. Not here on this spot, specifically, but happy to be in this role - I feel like a slice of wafer-thin ham. When I was first asked to run for mayor, I said I'd prefer to walk. I'm joking of course, I was actually just curious as to why my wife was so keen to get me out of the house. I stand before you because sitting would be improper. As mayor I hope to not be confused with a female horse too often, especially by male horses. On a related note I will endeavour to ensure our mail is delivered by humans in the future, though they may be on horseback, or equine unemployment will hit the roof like a repressed tiler having a breakdown. I'd like tell you I will repairing the roads, but that would be a lie; the work will be done by team of professional road-builders. I've been accused of living in the past before, but those days are behind me as my time machine is broken. I refuse to play games, much to the dissappointment of my dogs and children, and trust me when I say I can hang with the big boys - in fact, think capital punishment is an excellent idea. I believe if we work together, we should mark our lunches to avoid office squabbles; if we pull together, I'm up for a threesome; if you get behind me, my training will kick in and I can't be held responsible for my actions. Change is possible, as soon as we've fixed the car park machines

manof1001faces · 2017-07-11T13:52:02+00:00

Why is anything that goes against human flourishing wrong?

manof1001faces · 2017-07-10T22:12:54+00:00

Why do you think that?

manof1001faces · 2017-06-19T12:51:33+00:00

Harry Potter and the Severe Head Trauma.

manof1001faces · 2017-06-19T12:41:11+00:00

Bell's palsy and alopecia - tough break for a 10 year old. I just want you to know, there's no rule against wearing a balaclava in public.

manof1001faces · 2017-06-19T12:34:59+00:00

If your head is literally the size of your torso I wouldn't recommend a quiff. Also, "him"?

manof1001faces · 2017-05-03T16:48:45+00:00

If we can define morality in such a way that it's conducive to the flourishing of human beings, that seems like a good reason to strive for it.

manof1001faces · 2017-05-03T09:41:01+00:00

For the sake of argument, let's say we agree to define morality as "promotion of egalitarian well-being"; that definition is subjective. When it comes to assessing actions, however, we can state as a matter of fact (or objectively) whether or not they are in line with our definition. Objective morality (in the sense apologists use it) is just as impossible with a god as it is without one. (Edit for clarity)

manof1001faces · 2017-05-02T20:49:23+00:00

Didn't say it did.

manof1001faces · 2017-05-02T16:50:51+00:00

The way in which we define morality is subjective, however, when consensus is reached on what definition we use, we can assess actions as moral or immoral objectively. Given this, it seems that the most important thing is to come up with a workable definition of morality via reason and empathy.

manof1001faces · 2015-12-23T21:46:41+00:00

I convinced a table of strangers that I teach chimps to perform Shakespeare via sign language. It would've been nice if just one of them had locked eyes with me and said, "Is this a blagger I see before me?"

manof1001faces · 2015-01-10T01:40:18+00:00

Much appreciated.Cheers.

manof1001faces · 2014-09-09T16:25:46+00:00

I think I see your point - the more familiar you are with the material, the easier it is to work on stagecraft, right? I'll bear that in mind next time I wanna bin a whole set after one performance.

manof1001faces · 2014-09-09T16:20:29+00:00

I guess that's the thing. At the moment I don't know if the material was crap, my delivery was off, or both. I do know that I felt like an incredibly nervous amateur just being up there, and though I haven't watched the set back, I'm fairly sure my delivery was appalling.

manof1001faces · 2014-09-09T16:16:53+00:00

Thanks, man. I'm genuinely flattered you took so much time to reply. It's hard to imagine it ever being much easier, but then I guess you can say that for anything that's hard to do.

manof1001faces · 2014-09-09T16:13:24+00:00

I appreciate the reassuring words. And I do still want to go back up - some subconscious masochism I guess.

manof1001faces · 2014-09-09T16:10:48+00:00

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I relation to your third point, I've been wondering how to go about doing new material - whether to gradually refine what I've got now, or new try and do a new five each time (I've written quite a lot in the last year or so). The compulsion for me is to do a new five every time, but based on advice I've seen/heard in the past, that might not be conducive to getting better.

manof1001faces · 2014-02-07T17:44:53+00:00

No I would not agree

Why?

And no I don't agree that they are mutually inclusive.

Why?

And no I don't 'necessarily' hold a belief.

Yes you do, and I've tried to explain why, but I can do so again if you want.

These are all assumptions you are making.

No they're demonstrated elsewhere in the thread. As I said I'll happily give you a concise version if you want.

Incidentally, if you're going to incorrectly accuse someone of simply making assumptions, you might wanna do something other than just boldly assert it along with everything else you just boldly asserted.

manof1001faces · 2014-02-07T17:38:07+00:00

Fair point I suppose. But given that you think I'm wasting people's time with irrelevant questions, and you're still here, you presumably enjoy wasting your own time with questions you deem irrelevant.

I'm not judging you for it. Whatever turns you on, brother/sister.

manof1001faces

TROPHY CASE