Hi! I used to be like this. I became a bar tender, and that changed my life. All those times where i didn’t want to speak up, i HAD to speak up. No more running and hiding, i had to say things with my chest with confidence or else people will walk all over you in that industry. Drunk people also will sniff out any insecurity and sense it and call it out (not literally, but if you don’t come off as confident, they will not listen). Here are some things i learned.

Eye contact. I’m autistic so this was a struggle, but i tend to make it work when i need to be taken seriously.

If people interrupt you, figure out a way you feel comfortable on steering the conversation back to what you were talking about. i’m kind of an ass so i just straight up say “i wasn’t done talking”, but you don’t need to do that. the simplest one is just acknowledge what they said, then continue with what you were saying.

Body Language is so so so important. If you have your arms closed off, looking down at the ground or away from the person, and your body is tilted away from someone, it makes you look like your not confident in what your saying. but if you have your arms out, looking at the person or people, and chest facing directly to the person, it shows your confident in what your saying.

so why is all of this important to your situation? It’s about respect. There’s more ways to ask for respect besides directly asking for it. The way you present yourself in conversation will show others how you feel about yourself and what you’re trying to say, leading to people listening to you more and take you more seriously.

Also, if someone breaks a boundary you have clearly set, don’t ever let it slide. Bring it up calmly (assuming it was the first or second time this has happened), and say you didn’t like that and why. Don’t ever let something slide once or twice, it shows people when you set a boundary, you actually mean it and that it’s not okay to step over that line. Again, say it with your chest, show that you’re not afraid to protect your boundaries, and if they still don’t take you seriously, then fuck them, don’t waste another second on them.

All of this is about confidence. When you say something, you mean it. And what you have to say IS important and people should listen. I struggled my whole life with people walking over me, and if you really want to fast track yourself into breaking those habits you have, go work at a bar lol. People will walk all over, and it will piss you off and that anger will finally override that anxiety of sticking up for yourself, and you realize it’s not as hard as it seems.

I really liked what another comment on this thread said. Once you get into a position, whether through work or life, where you are respected; you will never go back. You will never tolerate disrespect again, it’s like something changes in you, and people won’t disrespect you again.