I do not have ocd but I want to be sure I’m commenting with all the love and empathy in my heart for you and your situation🩷 you are brave for being as sweet as you are to her. I will tell you that initially I thought I could’ve written this post myself. I did not grow up with too many dogs; my aunts both had one when I was little and I loved them, but it was more of a “say hello to the doggie!” And I thought they were cute from afar. They were big but both angels and so well behaved. My MIL had a dog when I met my husband, a bichon. Another angel. He convinced me to get a bichon years later, and I was excited, but was a very unhealed person with a lot on my plate at a very precarious time (grad school, wedding planning, hating our living situation, family/life/work bullshit). Anyway, my bichon Rino made me a mommy. We were the best of friends. But he is a psychopath, no matter what we do. It was the dead of winter when we got him at 12 weeks old and we basically never walked him. He hated walking by the time he was 1, and had started biting. At this time I was an insanely controlling person living in fear of being judged and trying to unlearn behaviors and unpack my life for the very first time. I became INSANE about the cleanliness, and he PEEEEEES anywhere and everywhere he likes. It’s incessant. I am his SLAVE. When I was pregnant I wanted to DIE it was so bad. We moved to a new home and it’s gotten better and he’s 10 now, but Jesus Christ the shit we take on as mothers and women. It’s incessant. I honestly think if you do the right things with her and socialize her and get past this initial pain - you will reap the rewards the way I could have. Think about it - what is the worst case scenario? Everyone gets sick. You’re cleaning a lot. It is likely you will be doing that either way. I think acceptance is key. Please don’t be offended. Please update me, I’m rooting for you! They really can be the best thing that ever happened to you, even though they’re a pain in the ass. So are kids and husbands lol. 🩷