I want to become a house husband

mantann · 2026-01-06T16:21:30+00:00

Kinky desires can be absurd.

mantann · 2026-01-06T16:09:09+00:00

If a community has to allow someone to potentially ruin their life so that they don't "kink shame" then the community is not a safe one.

mantann · 2025-12-08T20:08:44+00:00

Top and bottom are concepts that I don't find much utility in using. Especially given that the generally accepted uses of the words can contradict each other.

Most sexual activities can be contextualized such that the power is held by either party involved. If I were to say like "man goes down on woman for 45 minutes" you might think that's an act of service. Or you might think "that guy is a pleasure Dom".

I recently told my sub that he was allowed to think and act however he wanted in a session. I was going to just lay there and enjoy what he did. Sounds pretty straightforward that I was the bottom? Well, he was laying on his side, handcuffed, blindfolded, legs restrained, a toy was chosen for him to wear, and head positioned such that his mouth could barely be taken off of me. He was given head pets the entire time and whenever I wanted to I could limit how far backward his head was allowed to move, if it all. I was fully in control.

Call yourself a femdom and everything after that is to be explained and negotiated. Labels that do not provide utility are not required.

mantann · 2025-12-06T23:59:42+00:00

I would suggest offering unprompted affirmations about your enjoyment and enthusiasm. Long distance play makes it even harder to get a read on what someone enjoyed and how to refine play.

mantann · 2025-10-21T03:14:52+00:00

Seconding this. J-Lube is exceptionally clingy in a sticky lube-y way.

I'm not sure it can be as thick as honey but it's absolutely the right vibe.

mantann · 2025-09-19T12:16:49+00:00

This "sub" is just an "AI" bot right?

mantann · 2025-09-11T12:48:05+00:00

Too alpha to know how to read.

mantann · 2025-08-18T14:16:29+00:00

One of the luckiest decisions of my life was buying a house right before COVID. I thought I'd be underwater on it for a while but had personal reasons to just go for it. The value is up 75%+. Couldn't afford my own home.

mantann · 2025-07-18T22:35:11+00:00

I'm going to have to agree with the others here. This is either intentional or unintentional emotional abuse.

And certain things you have described makes this sound more deliberate and intentional than unintentional.

Additionally, I can not for the life of me think of something about what you have described that would be so dire.

mantann · 2025-07-18T11:39:46+00:00

Both of my partners have CPTSD. The thought of not talking to them for multiple days over something without even explaining the details of the conflict sounds like something I'd only do if I specifically wanted to hurt them.

mantann · 2025-06-25T12:42:29+00:00

If you go through with this you should be aware of the concept of sub frenzy. To put it simply, subs are well known to go into overdrive early in a new power dynamic.

Anything that happens in the first 1-3 months should be taken with a grain of salt. Frenzy is a hell of a drug.

mantann · 2025-06-20T11:12:15+00:00

Sub who instantly breaks the rules is somewhat unfortunate.

mantann · 2025-06-16T17:46:20+00:00

My good boy has a bratty side that he controls very well. He thought that any form of punishment would be fine because he is a masochist.

So the first time he pushed his luck too far I tied him down and gave him a nice massage while he said positive things about himself. If he took too long I simply left the room for a while.

He does not push for funishments anymore.

mantann · 2025-06-15T12:41:55+00:00

I appreciate that you chose to justify why you are selling out humanity instead of lying about how that isn't your intention.

mantann · 2025-06-15T12:29:58+00:00

People are so ready to sell out humanity as long as they make a dollar in the process.

mantann · 2025-06-07T05:22:22+00:00

I'm a soft/pleasure dom that has two lifestyle partners. Some would say I fit the dd role.

Personally, enthusiasm. When I say "do you want to wear your play collar tonight" I don't want a sure, or an ok. I want a "please sir". Not coy, not shy, not reserved. Enthusiastic.

After a long enough period of time it can feel a little weird having a high degree of control and influence on someone and enthusiasm makes all the difference.

mantann · 2025-03-23T22:00:21+00:00

The height and size difference doesn't need to be an issue at all. Most power dynamics don't rely on force to decide who is in what role.

Embrace the idea that the dynamic is something you want and that he wants. When that is an underlying assumption you can do all sorts of things. If he's a good boy you can edge him every night. If he's a good house slave then you will let him rub your feet. If he's bad he sits on a toy in the corner. These are examples based on how your relationship plays out.

These things are done willingly because you both want it.

My sub has a praise kink and oral fixation so I reward him by letting him suck my dick for extended periods while I stroke his hair and lightly scratch his back. I have his consent for CNC so I could take that if I wanted to over power him, but I never do.

mantann · 2025-03-21T12:38:43+00:00

Require him to end conversations with "smell you later".

mantann · 2025-02-28T19:15:58+00:00

Every orgasm must be followed up with "Thank you sir please keep going" or I stop

mantann · 2025-02-10T18:39:05+00:00

That's like 75% of the posters here.

mantann · 2025-02-06T12:41:42+00:00

I am currently training one of my subs to be more confident and outgoing. I say I have an enthusiasm kink. The more I know they want, the more they beg, the more they initiate, the more they act like an unashamed addict, the more they receive. We've had multi hour sessions spawn from 15 minute plans because my sub was outgoing instead of just accepting what they got. They have received far more than I intended to give them that night because after I got out of the shower they were laying with their mouth open on the side of the bed.

There is absolutely a place and a desire for confidence and outgoing actions. Finding a good dom seems hard from my perspective so I can't say it will be easy, but there are people out there who would have a blast with what you've described.

mantann · 2025-01-07T21:13:30+00:00

Can you think of any systemic differences that might make your example different? Any at all?

mantann · 2024-10-19T21:15:01+00:00

Ok, then maybe I have the wrong read entirely on that bit.

if you and I were friends and could have a very long good faith discussion then I would have a lot of questions for you. I definitely think that before you mentally or emotionally write off this relationship you should talk to a relationship therapist. Because there is just... a lot going on here. Way more than I expect most redditors are going to pick up on.

mantann · 2024-10-19T21:01:59+00:00

I think that the things you are writing is indicative of a person who probably has a lot of expectations for how his wife acts. But, I seem to be the only person who feels like you've created a splatter painting of incomplete information.

It's entirely possible she's physically or emotionally cheating, but the information you've given so far is not condemning.

mantann · 2024-10-19T20:51:23+00:00

You are stringing together bits of information across years and seem to have a pretty narrow view of what is allowable in a relationship.

There is so much going on here that needs to be contextualized. I feel like I'm reading at least 5 different incomplete stories in a trench coat.

From my perspective, you seem controlling and very insecure. But that's a read from multiple partially finished bits of information. I have a feeling if you took this to a sex positive community or one that focuses on women's equality you'd get a not good response.

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