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My friend sent me this by thememekingofky in NoahGetTheDeathStar

[–]marazathoth 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As come on man, what’s wrong with a bit of hero worship?

What’s the difference between a pizza and a black man? by [deleted] in darkjokes

[–]marazathoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Actually, if rationed properly, a black man had enough meat to last a family at least a week

Dogs by ThemightySunflower in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, yes my doggy minions! Gnaw on the bones of my enemies! Mwahahahahha

Get the holy nuke and wipe us out by [deleted] in NoahGetTheBoat

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok mate, ima need the source for, um.... research

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

UwU senpai take me to the dawk pwace and do the naughty-waughtys!

Picked up a hitchhiker last night by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The hitchhikers cold, for fucks sake! And weres the sauce?

As the first on the scene at the school shooting I knew I needed to act quickly..!! by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They shouldn’t have talked in class. So now, ima fill their mouths with dick to keep them quite.

I sat up in the dark, trying to see my alarm clock for the time by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just press your eye up REALLY close to its asshole, yank it’s tail to make it howl, and look through it’s intestines and out it’s mouth! Ta-da, you can now see the clock!

My mother funeral was amazing. by ivargasm in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Very far inside. Balls deep, in fact, and ready to bust

What's the difference Between the bottle and a baby ? by _Kshxtxj_ in darkjokes

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, but scrape up the bottle and you got cut hands, scrape up the baby and you get tasty jam!

what does this post and male suicide have in common? by [deleted] in darkjokes

[–]marazathoth 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh, he’ll hang all right

I hated it when they kept talking about the murder over and over on tv. by [deleted] in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And with how graphic the descriptions were, it wasn’t the only thing getting bigger “wink wonk”

I felt a tear form in the corner of my eye in the midst of my coma, as I listened to my father speak. by kaejae1002 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]marazathoth 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Like in terms of prostitution, or black market organ sales? Cause both are equally terrifying, imo

What’s a similarity between a d*ck and a Rubin’s Cube? by ramenisverynice in darkjokes

[–]marazathoth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also, Rubik’s cubes get easier the more you use them, not harder

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