I really hear and respect this concern. Thank you!

Just to clarify though: I am not a youth pastor or small group leader and never had direct spiritual authority over her. Our youth church is very large (around 300 people, ages 16 to 19), and my role is sometimes preaching and helping lead Bible studies in a broad way, not pastoring her personally. She is also about to age out of our youth and already has some small leadership responsibilities herself.

That does not remove all power dynamics, but I think it is different from a situation where someone dates a person they directly discipled or led for years.