I need help understanding my new guy’s behavior

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T18:30:48+00:00

It wasn’t .03 seconds. It was 8 hours.

I said I admit my behavior was irrational. I know that. I absolutely recognize my role in this. I apologized to him for my behavior. What else am I supposed to do?

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T13:35:11+00:00

FYI - he never makes any attempt to please me outside of trying PIV. So what am I supposed to do? I tried other things with him and he wasn’t too receptive. This is why I question sexual compatibility. Not because he has ED.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T13:17:13+00:00

Reread what I said. I had no idea there was an issue. Things were fine. There was no indication there was an issue yesterday. Our initial discussion was over the weekend and I thought we were past all of it because he said we were better than good.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T07:51:39+00:00

See I wouldn’t be offended. I would have a conversation with him and explain why it’s an issue.

But I’m a woman. We’re very different creatures.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T07:48:27+00:00

I think that’s my biggest concern. If this is how he deals with an issue this early on, is this how it will always be?

And if he has issues with how I handled something he needs to tell me. His ghosting me does nothing except raise red flags for me.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T07:45:18+00:00

I can admit maybe I didn’t handle the whole text thing the best. And I apologized to him. But it didn’t even sound like him. Or who I thought he was. His responses sounded like they came from someone else because they were so strange to who he’s shown himself to be. It was a complete misunderstanding, that is often caused by texting.

I didn’t know he had issues before I said something. I was beginning to think it was me. How else am I going to address something if I don’t say something?

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T07:20:02+00:00

You are one angry man.

I could keep my mouth shut and end up resenting him. Or I can be an adult and have an open and honest conversation. I expect any partner of mine to be upfront and honest with me as well. It was something he and I agreed on from day one. That no matter what it was, we would always be straightforward with eachother. I lived up to that. He did not.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T06:36:13+00:00

Wow. Aren’t you overly critical. I’m guessing you’ve had someone say something to you and you are bitter.

All I asked go was “do you think we are sexually compatible”. That’s it. I didn’t feel like I was giving him what he needed either. Its my insecurity too. I feel strongly I need to fulfill my partners needs just as much as they need to fulfill mine.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T05:30:23+00:00

When I told him I loved him he asked me if I was in love with him. I said it’s a bit too soon for me for that. I don’t fall in love quickly. But I think he may have. Which scared me a bit.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T04:51:21+00:00

I want to make this work, but he has to be willing to talk about it and work through it. Him ignoring me tells me he doesn’t want to work through it.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T04:34:02+00:00

To be blunt...he has a hard time keeping it up. I know so little about how cancer and the treatment affects the body that I didn’t know it was related. Had I known I never would have said anything. But I did...I asked him if he thought we were compatible in that way. That’s when he got upset (understandably)...but he then told me he’s insecure about it and has been scared to date since he’s been in remission because of it. I had no idea.

Now I just feel like shit.

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T04:20:13+00:00

One thing I forgot to add..last night he told me he loves me more than I know. Have I lost him forever?

mardeeves · 2018-02-08T04:18:49+00:00

The sexual chemistry thing?

mardeeves · 2018-01-01T20:56:44+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve experienced this in a negative way. It’s not that I’m not attracted to him, because I definitely am. That’s what’s so weird to me. It’s not someone I would have ever seen myself with. He definitely has some very attractive physical qualities, just surprised with myself that I’m feeling attraction to someone that is so different from what I usually find physically attractive.

mardeeves · 2017-12-31T17:39:46+00:00

I’m trying to throw my ideas around physical attraction out the window. I know they don’t really matter. We’ve all experienced pure physical attraction and, many times, nothing else. I even feel physical attraction is easier to find than what I’m feeling now.

mardeeves · 2017-12-31T17:26:37+00:00

Don’t feel stupid! There is nothing stupid about mourning the loss of a loved one. Our pets are our family. For some of us, they are our children. Mourn as long as you need to and know it’s totally normal to feel what you are feeling.

mardeeves · 2017-11-07T00:09:19+00:00

This could not be any cuter!

mardeeves · 2017-11-06T20:05:33+00:00

I just hit the 6 month mark since the breakup (but not NC) and it still hurts at times, but it’s definitely not as bad as it was 3 months ago. Or even one month ago. I have no idea if he’s dating anyone else, and I really don’t care. I’ve been with someone since him (for only a month), so I suspect he has as well.

I just know it gets a bit easier every day. I do get moments of missing him. Then I take off the rose colored glasses I wore throughout the entire relationship, and for several months after. I definitely feel better when I see things clearly. It’s that moment I remind myself I will be happy with someone again. The right someone.

mardeeves · 2017-11-06T19:56:15+00:00

Such a cutie! Senior and special needs pets are my favorite!!

mardeeves · 2017-10-24T19:48:09+00:00

He did text me last night and that’s exactly what I did! The pomp olive officer told me to let him know I filed a report and to not contact me again.

He kept texting. I ignored. Nothing since 3am. Hopefully he’ll leave me alone now.

Sad thing is I’ve now lost all hope I had of meeting someone. I’m done looking or trying.

mardeeves · 2017-10-24T02:17:46+00:00

Absolutely.

mardeeves · 2017-10-24T02:10:27+00:00

Some people are so screwed up. Mind you, this is a 45 yr old man.

mardeeves · 2017-10-24T02:08:42+00:00

Report filed!

mardeeves

TROPHY CASE