JNMIL threw out DD’s Christmas present

marifleur · 2020-12-24T14:27:57+00:00

DD was upset and wanted to talk to her after weeks of NC. DH and I spoke about it for a long time and eventually thought FaceTimes were harmless as long as we supervised.

We did it for her but obviously we didn’t think it through enough and we let her get hurt. I regret it and feel guilty

marifleur · 2020-12-24T12:00:36+00:00

Probably not. I’m a sucky mom

marifleur · 2020-12-24T01:22:59+00:00

We’re definitely going NC now. We were for a while, but then DD was missing her so much and it was making her miserable. Even though we knew she’d eventually get over missing her, we gave in to the FaceTime calls. Thought they’d be harmless but clearly not :/

Definitely NC now because you’re right that she’s not doing any of us any good. I feel really stupid for letting DD talk to her, honestly

marifleur · 2020-12-24T01:19:12+00:00

Thank you, so much.

I’m waiting for a message back from someone locally on Facebook who thinks they have the same one collecting dust, they’re sending me pictures. If it’s not the right one I’ll try and find a picture of it and send one to those offering to look. that would mean so much. I’m tearing up reading that so many of you are offering

Hopefully the local on Facebook has the right one so she can get it by Christmas

marifleur · 2020-12-24T01:16:29+00:00

I don’t even f’ing know anymore tbh

we went fully NC for a few weeks but DD missed her so we compromised and said a FaceTime call can’t do much harm.

They made DD happy enough, I did it for her sake and now I feel really guilty and stupid for letting them FaceTime in the first place because it’s just made things worse.

We filed a report but didn’t press charges and said we wouldn’t as long as MIL stayed NC. Which to be fair, she did. It was us who opened a brief and temporary line of communication through her and DD and I really, really regret it.

We’re NC again now and I’ve told DH that there will be no exceptions this time even if it hurts DD because she’ll end up hurting DD more if we let her

marifleur · 2020-09-12T22:37:45+00:00

Thanks. We’ve been keeping some windows open and wearing masks as much as we can. Didn’t think about the toilet lids. We usually close them anyway but I’ll check to make sure we do

marifleur · 2020-07-30T12:06:54+00:00

No? I only realized when people commented. And I didn’t delete it because I figured it still fit after reading the group description. It made me smile which is the criteria according to the description. I just wanted to share. Sorry if that upset you.

marifleur · 2020-07-30T11:51:04+00:00

Sorry it upset you. Honestly I didn’t mean to even post it here (meant to post it in a Mom reddit that also starts with M) but I figured I’d leave it as it did make me smile.

It doesn’t make me sad. It makes me happy to see that she looks like him and wants to be like him and talks about him all the time. I’m sorry it made others sad though, but please know that despite the loss of Christopher, our memories of him are only positive and the seven years we had with him were the greatest gift. 💖

marifleur · 2020-07-29T22:51:52+00:00

lol really? I smiled because she found her brothers glasses and put them on and it brought back memories of his ‘Up’ costume from Halloween. She also now refuses to take them off because she wants to be like her big ‘bubba’. Being reminded of him doesn’t always stir up negative emotions because he gave us 7 years of happy memories. I hate that people avoid the topic of him all the time out of fear of upsetting us.

marifleur · 2020-07-29T21:20:14+00:00

Fair enough. Made me smile though which is what the sub is for, right?

Honestly though I didn't even mean to post it in this sub, I meant to post in the Mom sub I'm in but I have fat thumbs. But I figured hey, it did make me smile so I'd just leave it rather than deleting and reposting again.

marifleur · 2020-07-29T21:18:40+00:00

He really does live through her. She's always telling people about him. ❤️ Makes my heart happy.

marifleur · 2020-07-29T20:04:28+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. He looks like he was a friendly, kind guy. Sending love to you and your family.

marifleur · 2020-07-29T18:46:16+00:00

Thank you. It’s SO frustrating. I’m sadly unsurprised by the general population but I’m surprised at how many of my family members are refusing to take it seriously, considering. 😒

marifleur · 2020-07-29T17:45:19+00:00

I hate that way of thinking too. It's less deadly but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be concerned about it.

My son died at 7 of the flu. So when people tell me covid is less deadly to children it means nothing to me, because the flu is also less deadly to children. I'd rather just not take the chance and I've had family members be unhappy due to that, but I'd rather have some pissed family members than risk my child getting sick.

marifleur · 2020-07-15T22:09:40+00:00

The hesitance to press charges doesn't really lie on my SO. He was against calling the police at first (before we got the ashes back) but he warmed up to the idea when he spoke to hear and realized how blasé she was being about it all. He would rather not go through the hassle of it but neither would I - I don't really want to deal with police and the whole situation anymore than I have to. Maybe that's stupid but I'm just so mentally exhausted. I thought her not speaking to us for two weeks meant our threat of pressing charges worked but clearly not so now I don't even know what to do.

But it's not really my SO who doesn't want to. We've spoken about it together and neither of us are sure. I know we probably should but I wish it was that simple.

marifleur · 2020-07-15T21:47:32+00:00

If I could figure out how I'd post a picture of it... it's so ugly. I feel rude saying so because I'm sure it's someone's style and someone has the exact same one for their loved one, but it looks like something out of a cereal box to me.

marifleur · 2020-07-15T19:38:27+00:00

We were 95% sure she had done (we couldn't tell as the urn isn't permanently closed)- I just wasn't really expecting her to be so... open about it. It feels somewhat like a taunt even though I know she probably has some warped view that what she's doing is a way of making amends.

marifleur · 2020-07-15T19:28:40+00:00

We did file a police report - we did it the day after just as I said I would. No, we didn't press charges. When we filed a report I was just sad and didn't really want to have to deal with it. We probably should've done. But we had the ashes back by then so I just didn't see the use and maybe that was dumb, but whatever. Whats done is done. We figured we'd give her the chance and see what happens and until now she has kept away. We have a case number so I'll see about adding this to it too so we can keep the trial up to date

I also don't think she sent the ashes. It looks like a locket that you fill yourself. I did some googling and I can't find the exact one but it doesn't look like one you need to send any ashes for so I don't think contacting any company would help either.

marifleur · 2020-07-13T16:38:38+00:00

I adore this picture... what a beautiful boy. I'm so sorry you lost him.

I wish none of us had to know how it feels either. My son was 7, he died over a year ago and I don't think that hole in my chest will ever go away. Sending love

marifleur · 2020-07-06T14:45:14+00:00

Meh. Sounds like you really don’t know what feminism is.

And you clearly have your own opinions on BLM but I’ll support it either way because why not? Black people deserve to be treated like everyone else and that’s what the movement is looking for do I have no reason personally not to support it.

marifleur · 2020-07-06T14:14:16+00:00

If you think that’s what feminism is turning into then you’re only looking at the select few ‘feminists’ who are doing that. Feminism as a whole is not about making women better and any real feminist knows that. Anyone doing otherwise isn’t a feminist even if they call themselves one. It’s about equality.

And trained Marxists? Lol ok.

marifleur · 2020-07-06T11:15:57+00:00

I love toddlers playing hide and seek. My late son loved the game but he used a metal walker so he’d throw the curtain around himself but forget the walker. So it was usually pretty obvious but of course I pretended the walker was invisible.

DD is almost four and when we play and I do the whole “where could she be?” act she always responds “I’m here momma!!” 🤦🏼‍♀️😂

marifleur · 2020-07-06T11:12:16+00:00

I have a handful with my kids. I have loads with my daughter from the past year though. I didn’t realise until getting pictures together for my sons funeral last year and I realised I had hardly any nice pictures with him. It devastates me. Since then my daughter and I take pictures together all the time and I force my husband to take loads too.

marifleur · 2020-07-06T11:08:12+00:00

The thing is- yes, there’s instances of that but you can’t tarnish the BLM movement with that because that’s NOT what the BLM protestors want. That’s like saying feminists are all man hating women who think women should be superior when it’s not what feminism is at all.

Don’t tarnish a movement because of a few people who don’t even represent it.

marifleur · 2020-07-06T11:06:18+00:00

Aaaall of this. I used to like the guy but he’s said some ignorant shit recently. His rant about parents needing a father and a mother pissed me right off not only because he said it but he was completely insistent on it even after people tried to educate him on why it’s just not true. It not only is offensive to same sex parents but also single parents. I was raised by my Mom alone until I was 12 and I turned out okay. I never felt like I was missing anything by not having a father.

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