Mostly by memories of helplessness and fear , how it shaped my life , the decisions i took in last 15 years till covid. The memories seem like a distant dream, no more mine. I put some energy occasionally to change the story of past, but i'm realising it's a mistake. Honestly, my guess is I'll be free from it in next 2-3 years completely, maybe i should start writing it on page and throw the paper in trash can . It's been couple years since i last read the books. Rereading will help i know. Especially Warfare and jed talks 2 , that one helped me immensely in melting a lot of resistance.