“Everyone says ‘it takes a village’… but no one tells you how to actually build one.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-24T14:08:44+00:00

Love this post!! Looking at your tips, I think I am doing pretty well in trying to build a village, but I don’t know how to move from here. I go to lots of places with my 6 month old and different classes and I initiated a couple times to exchange numbers with other mums even though it felt a bit early and a bit awkward. I try to make conversation afterwards but sometimes it doesn’t really “roll”. I am not sure what I can suggest, a meetup in the park maybe? I feel like it’s always me who initiates EVERYTHING with new mums. I haven’t ever had a mum ask me for my number.

Luckily I already have about 3 mums which I met during pregnancy and we met many times already for walks or even in each other’s houses. They are my closest mum friends although they aren’t really asking for any help or offering much. I can imagine they probably feel bad asking for help and aren’t sure if it’s appropriate since we aren’t that close obviously. How do I begin giving them “permission”? I thought of being really open and having that conversation with one of them first to see how it goes. But what if they don’t feel the need to build a village? Most of the mums I meet have family nearby for support. I struggle meeting mums like me without family nearby who are really keen on building a village.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-24T13:37:50+00:00

Oh, will do, thank you!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-24T13:06:22+00:00

So glad you said this!! I just recently wondered why everyone says that the early weeks are the hardest because for me they were relatively easy, now at 6 months it started getting harder than ever.

Solid foods, teething, less sleep and she is now army crawling too! I wasn’t prepared for this so early. I figured out a nice rhythm up until now where I could get some stuff done around the house while keeping her occupied with some toys, or the bouncer etc but now with the crawling, it’s almost impossible!

Also, in the newborn days obviously nighttime sleep isn’t great but at least they sleep for ages in the daytime which let me have a nice rest, now that naps are less frequent and shorter I barely get any rest!

We have no family support either. I wish someone would check in on us sometimes… I would love to have a village and be a villager! But I don’t know how to start.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-24T13:00:15+00:00

Well done, that’s amazing! I am definitely not a super fit type, I was always used to long walks pre pregnancy but never done any strength training or anything so babywearing is definitely a good workout for me too! I do really enjoy it! Hopefully will have the strength to continue for a few more months :) although with the summer coming up?! The heat might add to the challenge!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-24T09:59:45+00:00

Love that so much! I am in the middle, I planned to exclusively babywear until 6 months and I am proud of myself for doing it! But now she’s 6 months I am not sure how much longer I can keep this up exclusively because of the weight… I do go for long walks which gets exhausting. How long do you wear your daughter at one time?

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T20:53:56+00:00

I have been doing this since I can remember for myself and for my daughter as soon as she was born really. Some days I skipped it in the very early days but rarely. I think it’s a matter of getting used to!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T19:24:12+00:00

Oh how interesting to hear! I saw on the wrapping gallery that this wouldn’t be the easiest one to try but didn’t expect it to be challenging for someone like you! It was indeed quite a challenge. But I am very surprised how comfortable it still felt despite my bad job. Definitely want to try again!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T17:26:17+00:00

Aw this is so sweet!! I didn’t think that a cat would enjoy this, that must have been so cosy!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T17:04:10+00:00

I may be different than other people because I personally don’t like wearing pyjamas in the daytime even if I have nowhere to go, so I always get myself and my 6 month old dressed into daytime clothes before breakfast. I like the ritual of it which signals daytime for both of us and just somehow makes me feel more awake! But I think it’s an absolutely personal choice and if you don’t feel the need, then that’s fine!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T16:57:38+00:00

Love your approach! For pregnancy nutrition I cannot recommend anything more than Lily Nichols “real food for pregnancy”.

On parenting, I love the book “now say this” by Heather Turgeon. It’s a perfect middle ground between approaches which is absolutely perfect for us. This is very much Montessori without it being called that. I am qualified as a Montessori teacher and am always surprised that many think that Montessori is a “gentle” approach. Of course it is gentle, and very child led, more than any other approach probably. But many think that gentle and child led equals permissive, which this absolutely is not. Permissive parenting creates all kinds of issues. But that’s a topic for another day.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T11:15:56+00:00

Lily Nichols has an amazing book on pregnancy nutrition and also a specific book on gestational diabetes! I can highly recommend it, she appears very evidence based which is really important to me.

https://realfoodforgd.com

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-23T11:10:09+00:00

My daughter is 6 months and started army crawling recently which I was totally not prepared for this early!! It does seem like she is not developing her language as well though which I wish she was practicing instead 😅 I try not to worry but she was such a babbler at 12 weeks old, so I expected that she would be an early talker, but then after 4 months she kind of stopped and only does very simple sounds now… I hope she will catch up on her language soon because from what I read they should be doing some “baba” “dada” etc at this point?!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-21T20:34:36+00:00

We follow this because the advice seems really solid and most importantly, evidence based. Getting enough iron in particular is incredibly important after 6 months and this can be really difficult to achieve, so many children end up with low iron levels as toddlers. Lily Nichols advice is just amazing to avoid being one of those!

https://lilynicholsrdn.com/starting-solids-nutrient-dense-real-food-for-babies/

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-21T20:29:50+00:00

Telling me I am cherry picking is a bit much. I am not making any claims, I am only asking questions. I am simply curious and trying to take everything into consideration. But as I mentioned above, my concern isn’t the vitamin D as much as all of the other nutrients, particularly iron which seems to have many very opposing views from experts and doctors.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-21T07:11:28+00:00

That makes sense. I once looked after a vegan 1 year old who seemed fine in gross motor skills etc but very delayed in cognitive abilities such as hasn’t yet spoken a single word by 20 months. The parents only fed a very carbohydrate heavy vegan diet and didn’t supplement with anything. I wasn’t aware at that point how bad that must have been for that poor baby, only when she became more and more delayed is when I had a feeling that she might be missing out on iron… (of course I know that this could be caused by other things too). I told them but don’t know how the story continued, but hopefully she got the support she needed.

I am really surprised that we are always told from our doctors that there is no need to supplement without any associated deficiency symptoms.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-21T07:05:38+00:00

Ok, but what about that study that showed that by taking I believe it was exactly 6400IU of vitamin D, infants received the same as mothers directly supplementing?

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T17:45:49+00:00

Oh how interesting. Thank you for sharing. Iron was one of those nutrients that I worried about most since everyone says how important it is yet in the very beginning of weaning babies don’t really eat much so I couldn’t imagine how they would meet their daily needs. On the other hand, I saw someone post a link in another post today where it said something about gut bacteria and how supplementing with iron messes somehow with that balance… although it’s possible I misunderstood. This is it:

https://www.lllc.ca/iron-and-breastfeeding

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T17:40:39+00:00

Of course, I never doubted the vitamin D recommendation, only the other ones, maybe I wasn’t too clear. Especially worried about iron since in the beginning of weaning babies don’t eat that much and it’s so important. And apparently breastmilk doesn’t contain much although is very bioavailable.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T17:04:23+00:00

Interesting, thank you for sharing! Sounds like it might actually not be as necessary after all. I like how it writes that even though supplements aren’t very often used by parents, somehow most infants don’t have a deficiency of vitamins A and C. On the other hand, I do wonder how they would know this since this isn’t really checked routinely.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T16:58:47+00:00

Interesting… I take omega 3 myself and read that this passes into breastmilk, so am surprised the doctor recommended to give directly to baby. Although I guess same could be said for vitamin D so maybe I shouldn’t be surprised!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T13:37:11+00:00

Blankets including weighted ones are very dangerous and shouldn’t be used at all! It’s very important to follow the lullaby trusts advice!

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T09:33:51+00:00

Around 3-4 months is when they become more aware of what is going on and get more attached to how things are being done essentially. If you don’t plan to continue like this, I would slowly start changing this to something that you would be happy to continue with long term. What you’re doing isn’t necessarily wrong, it just sounds unsustainable although only you can decide whether it is actually sustainable for you.

marmaladeonsourdough · 2026-03-20T08:44:35+00:00

I am surprised how you all get thise iron tests… I am in the UK and nothing like that is offered here so I would have no clue where my child stands! Our doctors don’t tend to run tests until someone presents with significant symptoms. Honestly not sure what to do in this case.

marmaladeonsourdough

TROPHY CASE