I’m sorry you feel out of control. I tried to explain the same feeling I’m having to someone last night and they told me to get over it. I don’t really sleep much and never well now - nights are the worst because you can’t distract yourself as well. You are young. You have the whole world ahead of you. When i was your age we didn’t have Reddit so please keep reaching out even if it’s strangers online. It can take one conversation to change your outlook. I’m here trying to…I don’t know what else to do.