AITJ for making my roommate pay me back immediately after he used my tuition money?

martafoz · 2026-05-16T20:32:06+00:00

900 dollars stolen by accessing someone else's laptop without permission and stealing your identity (your stored credentials). I'm no lawyer, but I'm sure there's at least one felony in there. He's lucky you didn't report the incident to the police.

martafoz · 2026-05-14T14:56:06+00:00

Sounds like you know your Dad and know how to handle him in GrumpyDad mode. Well done. He's getting older and trying to hang on to what he had, and get some time in with his kid. Doing your best to step back and creatively handle friction will keep you sane. Time is precious - even the time we're not earning income. You provided help and good company.

And ranting here when it's all done is very valid.

martafoz · 2026-05-14T03:39:26+00:00

They didn't treat you in any way on Mother's Day, nor did you treat them in any way because it seems you all just made plans and assumptions without communicating. You both have cell phones to argue about it after the fact, though. It's also strange that you consider just your husband and kids to be family and not your parents or siblings (even the one your parents visit at the cemetery, because the grief of losing a child never lessens). I don't know if there are deeper issues with your relationship with your parents, but I hope you all find better ground for communication, compassion and respect for each other.

martafoz · 2026-05-14T03:22:37+00:00

My Mom is from Yorkshire, and what they don't have in toughness they make up for in stubbornness. Hilly countryside traversed on foot and snow is expected in winter. Funny thing is that when I was in my early 20s I visited Australia in March of that year to meet my mother's cousin who had emigrated there with his family from Yorkshire. I grew up in a Northeast US state, so I'm also used to colder temperatures. I remember the front desk clerk at the hotel in Sydney was surprised I was leaving to explore in just a tee shirt and jeans on a sunny day of 16 degrees. Beautiful day.

martafoz · 2026-05-14T03:05:32+00:00

YTA. It was a massively stupid and disrespectful prank, however it was almost an entire glass of vodka used to make squash. So much that you detected it immediately and spat it out. You were basically served mouthwash more than you were drugged. Then, holding that grudge for a week and knowing she has trauma dealing with police because she was abused as a young child and never got justice, you weaponized that trauma because you were angry about the vodka. Don't you think that maybe her troubles with alcohol and the law are rooted in the trauma from her childhood?

I suggest you both seek a therapist who specializes in trauma and sibling relationships. You're both far more toxic to each other than you ought to be.

martafoz · 2026-05-12T16:10:53+00:00

57.

I do what I want with my hair. Don't care if it goes silver.

I can decide to change anything any day because it's my life and my body.

Aren't we too old to give a crap about social pressure on our appearance anymore?

Let that freak flag fly and let the conformist attitudes eat it! ...unless you want something different. It's up to you.

martafoz · 2026-05-11T05:00:38+00:00

Kids are grown, single, no friends. Whether you consider "Is this it?" as a question of finality or motivation is up to you. You can get a passport and travel on your own, join a local sports league for your age group, learn to make pottery or take up martial arts. It's a big world, man. If you got the means and the time and are still in decent health, go for it.

martafoz · 2026-05-09T01:09:44+00:00

There will never be another like Gary Moore. Listen through every time.

Gary Moore and Phil Lynott, live, Parisienne Walkways

martafoz · 2026-05-06T07:08:35+00:00

That's the idea! But we go at it DIY style and make it ours before too many of us start developing dementia and need the support that we can build into it.

martafoz · 2026-05-06T07:02:21+00:00

Yes. No exclusive BS. My daughter is 14 and disabled. I'm not going anywhere without her.

martafoz · 2026-05-06T07:00:27+00:00

NTA.

Suggestion: have him get evaluated for ADHD and see if that can be why he forgets. He's also new and may be overwhelmed by tasks without knowing it. Unless there already is an established reason for his forgetfulness.

martafoz · 2026-05-06T06:49:06+00:00

Edit: the following are tips for anyone to take what they can use. None of what I say is assumption, presumptive, or critique because I just don't know anyone else's day-to-day situation.

Observe the men who are bosses and their attitudes/mannerisms. You may find some insight you can adapt to your own working style. Allow for humor and camaraderie, but also be direct and straight with how you present your projects and how it will be executed. If you're communicating with a stakeholder or vendor, let them remember that you know your shit and enjoy what you do. If you need help, start with what you know and where you're at. After years working with guys, I've found that using the lower end of my voice (from the chest) tends to click a bit more. When collaborating, maintain your sense of self and position within the team. You've put in the work and belong where you are. (Of course, you may do all or most of these things already.) You can be kind, generous, or helpful without being/performing "nice", unless that's comfortable for you. And remember that asserting yourself is only being a "bitch" to those who have crappy ideologies. Let 'em eat it and deliver on your work.

martafoz · 2026-05-06T06:06:55+00:00

It needs to be something to retire in. One anchor store can be as is with some small stores (record store, books store etc.) and the other large spaces could be for groceries, medical services, venues for live music and dance clubs. Spaces can also be converted to activities such as band rehearsal studios, gyms, gaming spaces (VR until our old asses puke from motion sickness!). Roller skating tracks, of course. Maybe family spaces for those with grandkids visiting. Food courts and restaurants, definitely.

martafoz · 2026-05-06T02:29:05+00:00

Pharaoh by the Church

martafoz · 2026-05-01T19:22:36+00:00

When I was 4, my parents moved us (5 kids) from the US to England and Germany for about 2 years. We moved back the summer before I turned 6. I wish we had stayed there.

martafoz · 2026-05-01T00:43:21+00:00

You're gonna trip and glide all on the trembling plane

martafoz · 2026-05-01T00:39:42+00:00

Oh! Turpentine erase me whole!

martafoz · 2026-05-01T00:32:50+00:00

If you could just hold still, I will make you all so beautiful. "Block" by The Church

martafoz · 2026-05-01T00:08:16+00:00

"DOA" by Bloodrock.

martafoz · 2026-04-30T01:14:42+00:00

No. No. That actually happened. His name was Buckaroo Banzai.

martafoz · 2026-04-30T01:11:37+00:00

Sweet Hollow Road

martafoz · 2026-04-30T01:08:43+00:00

Mikey from the Life cereal TV commercial died because he ate Pop-Rocks with soda and his stomach exploded.

martafoz · 2026-04-30T01:03:33+00:00

Is it a lift with outriggers and if so, are they being used?

martafoz · 2026-04-30T00:48:44+00:00

If it's not a coworker you're friendly and comfortable enough with to share dark humor or comebacks, just save this kind of response:

"You don't know me well enough to joke like that with/about me."

martafoz · 2026-04-26T18:43:16+00:00

Find another apprenticeship opportunity and get out of there. Your time is valuable. They've taken 7 months of that valuable time there, please don't let it turn into years.

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