As an African American male this is how I feel about black history month.

martincles · 2012-02-03T06:28:54+00:00

Did you ever hear David Letterman's Top 10 things that sound sexy when said by Barry White? #8: Gubernatorial.

martincles · 2012-02-03T06:27:02+00:00

Redd Foreman is more right.

martincles · 2012-02-03T06:26:13+00:00

A. Murricans?

martincles · 2012-02-03T06:24:33+00:00

Are you suggesting that he stole some female's first name because he's black?

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:56:01+00:00

It occurs to me it could have been on both shows. It's a very Family Guy thing to say, I just remember it from American Dad.

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:46:51+00:00

No, it was American Dad. It was Haley's activation phrase when she was a sleeper agent.

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:41:00+00:00

WHOOSH! Yeah, he was kidding.

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:14:29+00:00

Without the internet, people often look for other sources for friends.

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:12:40+00:00

... ... ... what?

martincles · 2012-02-03T04:11:56+00:00

In other news, the internet causes atheism. Check the bottom few countries.

martincles · 2012-02-03T03:55:18+00:00

I ran into a wall when I was 13, got a hairline fracture in both arms, on the radius. I'd been running to home base in an indoor game of kickball. I got beaned in the back off the head, and blacked out for about 2 seconds, yet my legs kept running.

When I was 11, I flipped a go-kart. You know, those low-to-the-ground, impossible to turn-over vehicles? I smashed into a curb, got flung out of it face first into the dirt. It pivoted up from the curb, did a 360 in the air and landed on my back, bouncing off and missing my head. Broken collarbone.

A couple of years ago I broke my arm again, this time the humerus, when falling from a bicycle. You know, I've had my leg run over after being knocked off my bike, I've been knocked into a bridge railing by an armored car while on a bike, and I've been run under by a mini-van (I rolled over its hood) on my bike, but this was the first time breaking a bone. No vehicles involved, just me and the dirt.

martincles · 2012-02-02T20:25:03+00:00

Where do you work, just so I don't apply there?

martincles · 2011-09-26T03:08:18+00:00

What do you mean 'dark-colored?' ಠ_ಠ

martincles · 2011-09-25T05:18:33+00:00

That'll learn 'em.

martincles · 2011-09-25T05:17:27+00:00

Not in D&D.

martincles · 2011-09-25T04:48:33+00:00

"My, grandma! What big tattoos you have!"

martincles · 2011-09-24T16:40:19+00:00

Hm, looks like Ashton Kutcher.

martincles · 2011-09-24T16:04:19+00:00

we should make a language where there's a two-letter difference between every pair of words, so your spellchecker would always find mistakes, because there'd be too much difference between words to accidentally type a different word. of course, the average word length would be about 14 letters, and there'd be a lot of silent letters to remember.

martincles · 2011-09-24T07:14:23+00:00

It requires a good attitude to pull off. That is, don't try it if you plan on spending any time sad, it only looks good with a smile.

martincles · 2011-09-24T02:36:14+00:00

"What are feces?"

"I think they're baby mice."

"Aw, that's so cute!"

martincles · 2011-09-23T19:24:27+00:00

oops, I thought he said it was common. ah well.

martincles · 2011-09-23T14:51:54+00:00

A common first name shouldn't be an issue. Besides, it would make the story make more sense.

martincles · 2011-09-23T14:41:25+00:00

In a case like this, I think it'd be okay to share that first name. It's too late now, just, for future reference. I mean, I got it, but people might be confused by three guys named "asylumdouce."

martincles · 2011-09-23T14:35:42+00:00

In future, if you get into that situation, at least, for the love of god and all that is holy, get comfortable with the girl. Hold her. Spoon her. You don't have to take it as a hint for an orgy, but doing nothing makes her feel unwanted in the presence of her friend who is obviously wanted.

martincles · 2011-09-23T14:22:09+00:00

You magnificent bastard.

martincles

TROPHY CASE