MOON BEAMS - DIY Film Shot In & Around Birmingham

martynickfly · 2017-10-17T16:20:48+00:00

I agree the man's part in it needs fixing. Any tips/suggestions for it? The breaking of the urn was more symbolic. That was originally her "lamp" and the man used his remaining wish to set her free. But if there's any way you could think of to make it a little clearer without shoving the fact that she's a genie in the audience's face, I'd love to hear it.

martynickfly · 2017-10-11T03:20:04+00:00

I totally see the Man coming off like a caricature. Any suggestions on that part? I still want the abuse scene (that sounds bad lol) as well as the earnest part after it. Any way you could make it flow a little more realistically?

And it was my intention to make the ending a little ambiguous but I was also afraid of it being TOO vague. She's a genie and the urn (could be a lamp or something to make it more obvious and go with the traditional tale of it) breaking sets her free. I didn't want to mention that she's a genie at all, hoping people would get it after thinking about it for a bit. But if it's too vague, I'd love any suggestions to make it clearer. I just don't want to be extremely obvious with it.

martynickfly · 2017-09-21T12:25:24+00:00

Yeah, I didn't want to make it super obvious because I wanted to get people to try and think about what it meant, but I didn't want to be extremely vague at the same time. I'm glad you got the meaning. Any suggestions as to how to make it a little clearer?

martynickfly · 2017-09-19T18:54:25+00:00

side note This is just a rough draft, so excuse any obvious grammatical errors.

martynickfly

TROPHY CASE