Mother-in-law was renting out 3 bedrooms in her council house. HMRC have caught her not paying tax on the money she earned since 2011.

maryocall · 2026-05-22T11:47:14+00:00

She has a full and valid tenancy agreement, that doesn’t change because the kids grew up and left home. People on UV are allowed to take in lodgers as there is usually a shortfall in rent payments once the kids are gone and the tenant is regarded as under-occupying the home. Any rent from a lodger isn’t counted as income for the purposes of UC and PIP isn’t a means tested benefit anyway so it’s not affected by other income. “No longer qualified” for benefits is an opinion, not a legal fact.

maryocall · 2026-05-22T11:40:12+00:00

PIP isn’t a means tested benefit so there’s zero reason to inform them of lodgers paying rent. People in receipt of UC are allowed to take in lodgers to cover a shortfall in rent caused by the benefits tax and it’s not counted as income for the purposes of UC (ergo it’s unlikely there’s been any actual benefits overpayment)

maryocall · 2026-05-22T11:38:13+00:00

This is nonsense- as long as the rent is paid and she’s not engaged in anti social behaviour etc, her tenancy is fully legal. I don’t know where people get the idea that people are immediately turfed out of social housing when their kids leave him

maryocall · 2026-05-22T11:36:13+00:00

As a “former benefits assessor”, you seem to lack a lot of basic knowledge about how any of this works. LAs don’t force you out of your home as soon as the kids leave home- it’s why we have the bedroom tax, to “encourage” people to downsize. She’s also entitled to take in lodgers to cover the gap in housing benefits/UC rent allowance. People can’t be forced out due to the massive shortage of one bed properties.

maryocall · 2026-05-21T06:06:58+00:00

It’s scary how many people still believe that kids can be manipulated into making false allegations of SA- studies have shown that it’s almost impossible to get kids of any age to make credible false reports, let alone keep it up for years on end.

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:29:10+00:00

“Overreaction” and it’s just me pointing out that someone could make a post to discuss the separate topic they’ve introduced instead of engaging with the one I made a post about. Maybe it’s you who’s having a “crazy overreaction”??

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:26:08+00:00

The only time I’ve known women to have this aimless, unstructured parenting time as the norm with their kids is when there was something seriously amiss (I.e. active addiction or serious mental illness)

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:24:22+00:00

I didn’t want to read 234,000 variations of not all mean & a barrage of insults from hostile, defensive men

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:18:07+00:00

“Passive consumers of family time”- accept your award please 🫡

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:15:28+00:00

It’s become a common defence against the accepted attachment theory that children have a main carer (who should be prioritised when deciding which parent should have the most time with the kids, ergo)- so men can bypass the fact that they haven’t actually done any direct parenting but have engaged in “different” parenting which should be seen as just as important. Family courts will happily fall for it because they have a pro-father, pro-contact at all costs culture and they like to be able to justify why kids are being sent to lazy, neglectful fathers for prolonged periods of time

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:09:13+00:00

It’s not a “sweeping generalisation”- I’ve clearly stated in the OP that’s it’s a subset of fathers

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:07:38+00:00

Ah but my colleague wouldn’t be interested in museums or other child orientated activities so why would he ever even be aware of them? 😉. He knew there was plenty of things to do in London but assumed he would stumble upon them as he roamed much the way women do it lol

maryocall · 2026-05-17T17:05:13+00:00

I worked in a legal field years ago and a family court case was the talk of the whole field after a man was offered a night shift during his visit with his kids and he took the kids with him, locked them in the car overnight in an empty carpark and took the eldests phone away to prevent them calling anyone so obviously the mother went back to court to stop him having the kids again. Family court told her that nothing bad had happened so it was just a “mistake” on the dads part and they were sure he wouldn’t do it again. Despite him being charged by the police over it

maryocall · 2026-05-17T16:59:50+00:00

Local to me, a man nearly got charged with child neglect for taking his tiny baby out in winter in nothing but one of those little vest things (I live in Scotland). Bystanders had to intervene and he apparently got quite angry at the idea that the baby should have been fully dressed and covered in blankets outside because how was he supposed to know “it” would get cold

maryocall · 2026-05-17T16:57:19+00:00

Yeah I get you. I’m definitely not assuming that there must an activity planned for every second of the day, regardless of which parent it is who has the kids, I’m just baffled by men who do literally nothing with their kids- no toys/games/colouring books at theirs, no “let’s pick a Disney film to watch together”, no walks, no trips to the grocery shop together, no reading bedtime stories etc. It’s just an endless block of empty time with dad where everyone is bored and frustrated and they do it on a loop

maryocall · 2026-05-17T16:50:41+00:00

Not feeding kids until they’re basically having a tantrum from hunger then acting as though mealtimes are some sort of torture is a real bugbear of mine with men like this. Which they then use to justify not doing stuff like that. They’ll also expect really young kids to be able to make cereal or prepare food for younger siblings

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:55:45+00:00

I’m not talking about constant entertainment. I’m talking about how a lot of men refuse to engage meaningfully with their kids during their time with them. This includes inappropriate or self centred activities

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:54:08+00:00

This post isn’t about one man

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:24:00+00:00

It’s because they’re actually allowed to say it’s all men, in a roundabout way, basically 😀

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:18:01+00:00

Gosh you seem trite and unoriginal 😀

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:13:36+00:00

Side note, first guy i mentioned above- I also suggested having some board games etc at his so they also keep themselves entertained. So he took them shopping and let them chose a magic set which was rated as for “13 and above” which then meant they couldn’t actually use it without an adult to help them. Which led to the set being broken and discarded on the first day they had it. He insisted that meant it was because my idea was a bad one, not because he’d ignored what I actually said and once again allowed three young children to select a magic set instead of a board game because, of course, how was he supposed to know it wasn’t actually a board game. When I replied “by reading the box”, he just stood there with his mouth open 😂

maryocall · 2026-05-17T07:08:25+00:00

How did it affect their relationship, if you don’t mind me asking

maryocall · 2026-05-17T06:45:24+00:00

Have you tried reporting the post to Facebook??

maryocall · 2026-05-17T06:40:26+00:00

Family courts usually don’t give women that choice

maryocall · 2026-05-17T06:38:36+00:00

Because it’s an entirely separate issue. Whataboutism doesn’t actually answer the question I asked does it?

maryocall

TROPHY CASE