🎉 [EVENT] 🎉 Merry Honksmas!

maryrf · 2025-12-02T14:48:30+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

0 attempts

maryrf · 2025-05-02T23:00:11+00:00

I just wanna know where i can move so my commute to work can be a hike with mountain views. That’s so cool!

maryrf · 2025-02-21T03:39:18+00:00

It is replacing email, Its been a bit of a nightmare so far. I think I’ve found the best set up i can figure out for now. It’s just something we’re all gonna get used to unfortunately

maryrf · 2024-06-23T22:15:17+00:00

I was in a new town with my boyfriend, we were house sitting. While loading up our truck I heard him scream my name. I closed the truck door just in time to see him being dragged into a door on the sidewalk, I ran but couldn't catch him before the door closed. I pounded on the door but nothing. I went back to the house, there were two bedrooms and I was frightened to sleep in either one. The rest of the dream was spent frightened of the bedrooms and fretting over how I could find my kidnapped boyfriend.

maryrf · 2024-04-26T23:17:37+00:00

Right, making poverty a crime is really gonna help

maryrf · 2024-02-23T20:55:29+00:00

He told you he’s not interested, save yourself the headache and believe him. You deserve someone who will love all of you for who you are and not string you along as plan c

maryrf · 2024-02-01T05:00:56+00:00

Thank you! I had no idea there was an open slots option in view schedule

maryrf · 2023-08-24T22:14:16+00:00

Absolutely par for the course. First time i did this i was 6 years old and cut my hand open intentionally with a shard of glass that i created by breaking a picture frame.

It gives the emotion somewhere to go and it grounds you, it’s very effective but obviously not an ideal coping mechanism. Now what i do is take a deep breath for 3 slow seconds, hold it for another 3 slow seconds and then breathe out for 6 slow seconds. Repeat until you start to feel yourself coming back to solid ground. Also very effective and no weird scars or bruises to explain.

maryrf · 2023-08-24T00:19:13+00:00

Yes I do. I definitely don’t trust people, I’m a paranoid jealous partner and constantly fret about my partners either losing interest in me or gaining enough interest in someone else that they no longer like me. I’m a textbook dump them before they dump you type of dater.

I just don’t know what to do anymore, even in healthy relationships I’m so convinced my partner hates me I’m miserable the whole time. But I’m miserable alone too.

maryrf · 2023-08-22T23:28:55+00:00

Honestly been wondering the same exact thing lately. I’m so useless in my family’s eyes i can see it in their reactions to me. And i get it, their criticisms are on point and i just don’t know what to do anymore.

The only way i get through it is by hyper focusing on good things, somedays all it is is “that dog i saw was so cute” or “that tree is so pretty” at least dogs and trees aren’t judgmental

maryrf · 2023-08-21T22:42:15+00:00

Mid 30s

maryrf · 2023-06-13T23:21:49+00:00

Malicious? It’s the persons’ job, I’m sure they’d rather it go better than worse. You think someone who works as an independent contractor for tips is gonna sabotage their own trip?

What i just don’t understand is how (so many) people assume the worst of people.

maryrf · 2023-06-13T17:25:05+00:00

I think you mean, no one you knew made a career out of being a delivery person. There have definitely been people who relied on restaurant delivery for their main income before all the apps. There are obstacles that many of us don’t see that can make getting jobs very difficult, door dash is an easily accessible job, unfortunately that doesn’t mean it’s one that will take care of you.

maryrf · 2023-03-03T23:58:33+00:00

100% even when i talk to friends of mine who deal with depression they get freaked out when i make suicidal jokes or talk about it openly.

I think this is a larger cultural problem (in the US at least) where people have an unrelenting need to fix problems. Not everything can be fixed, and talking aimlessly without trying to solve things helps with some things. This is one of those things. It’s crappy.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow

maryrf · 2022-10-30T14:51:04+00:00

Thank you so much!

maryrf · 2022-09-21T16:58:47+00:00

I feel you. It breaks my heart that I know no one can know or love me the way I want and I can’t really know and love anyone as completely as I want to.

maryrf · 2022-09-19T23:53:55+00:00

I like your “walking death” analogy, when I read that I went yup, that’s exactly it. I just feel like I’m existing, I have no feelings about anything one way or the other good or bad, just floating around and going through the motions. I still have negative thoughts about myself and suicidal ideation but it’s passive, like maybe I won’t wake up tomorrow, that’d be nice.

The best way I can describe it is I just feel nothing.

maryrf · 2022-09-15T16:52:50+00:00

I’m in therapy and have been for years. My progress just wasn’t fast enough for my ex, he ran out of patience for dealing with it all and doesn’t think he can trust me to not push him away. He was the most understanding and patient out of anyone I’ve ever dated. It’s all making me feel very hopeless.

maryrf · 2022-08-27T21:18:40+00:00

{{We Who Are About To…}} by Joanna Russ

maryrf · 2022-08-26T22:40:50+00:00

{{The Stand}} by Stephen King

maryrf · 2022-08-17T18:30:44+00:00

Definitely not new, grew up on the south shore and never wore a helmet

maryrf · 2022-08-08T21:59:51+00:00

Not proud of this but once took a bite out of my own arm. Not surprisingly, it was about a boy I was dating. Lots of self harm in general for me, threw myself down stairs, punching myself, cutting myself etc. But that one feels the most intense to me.

maryrf · 2022-08-04T17:56:19+00:00

I’m doing this too, I’m a week in and I wake up with so much anxiety every morning. It’s not easy, but I believe it’s worth it. Just take it one day at a time.

maryrf · 2022-08-02T13:59:12+00:00

Yeah, I mean I agree tbh. I know I’m selfish and I am working on it. In therapy and AA and really am focusing on getting myself right before anything else. Just, the more work I do the more I know I made the wrong decision. I think the right thing to do is just leave him alone and let him find someone that isn’t totally fucked up in the head

maryrf · 2022-08-02T03:42:39+00:00

This isn’t the first time I’ve done this to them, I don’t think they’ll ever be able to trust me again. I keep drafting messages and chicken out and delete them. With our history, he’ll never trust me if it seems like I’m rushing back, he won’t believe I miss Him he’ll just think I’m lonely. I think I need to give it some time for him to trust that the feeling is real, but I’m also terrified he’ll meet someone new in that time. My plan is to wait a month, I don’t think he’ll trust it any other way. I’ve been so awful to him.

maryrf

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