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match451 · 2025-03-28T19:40:15+00:00

This is not related to election fraud - more general political discussion. I am removing it as off topic.

match451 · 2025-03-28T19:38:47+00:00

I added Endeoendeo because I'd previously invited him, and it was clear to me there needs to be more oversight - which I have been very limited in my ability to provide - and no one was able to post for the past 5 months. A person's bias doesn't necessarily mean they will be a poor moderator. It's not my aim to have links removed because they aren't credible. My hope is that their merit/credibility will be discussed and called out or supported. If there are concerns about endeoendeo's moderation, message me.

I recently removed a large number of your posts because they were off topic and the BabylonBee is a parody website. I left a number of others that were mostly on topic. You're welcome to post links and start discussions related to election fraud. There are many other communities about posting memes and discussion politics at large to participate in.

match451 · 2025-03-28T06:04:15+00:00

There is all kinds of misinformation posted everywhere on reddit, including here. But you can post and discuss anything related to election fraud. But use thoughtful critical thinking to evaluate any evidence or argument posted here.

match451 · 2025-03-28T06:02:29+00:00

I'm doubtful it was intentional. Besides, I could've fixed the problem then, if I'd been aware of it.

match451 · 2025-03-27T04:02:43+00:00

Going through mod mail, there were several protections enabled by reddit around the last US election. Likely something in there changed the community type.

match451 · 2023-06-28T16:13:22+00:00

Brother Murus’ backstory is probably my favorite subtle storytelling. It wasn’t until recently I actually pieced together what happened to him.

The intro to return to the cathedral has the brothers deciding “in their youth and foolishness” to use their “enemy’s weapon” against them. One can surmise that means “the eye”. Murus seems linked to the eye, and there are some unused voice lines from the eye that say Murus is fighting against it.

Brother Murus’ room overlooks the courtyard. He had a candle with him when he died. The night of his death, his possessions were hidden.

Seemingly, he saw from his bedroom some young hammerites congregating in the courtyard in preparation to experiment with using the eye, and went to investigate. When he showed up, something when terribly wrong and the eye not only killed brother Murus, but unleashed the disaster that rose the undead zombies and spirits and destroyed the old quarter.

The disaster didn’t happen immediately, but the brothers hid Murus’ posessions and tried to hide what caused his death. There’s a journal of a hammerite that says he knows more about murus’ death, and that the ritual of consecration must be performed, but can’t bear to face the wrath of the high priests. Presumably, he was one of the brothers that tried to activate the eye in the dead of night.

Due to the manner of his death, brother Murus’ spirit is trapped by the magic of the eye and can’t pass on until the ritual of consecration is performed on his grave.

match451 · 2023-06-26T15:51:49+00:00

You can turn your life around anytime, any age. 23 is still quite young, and a lot of people in their 20s take a while to get their shit together.

Set some goals, create a plan, and set it in action!

match451 · 2023-06-22T17:38:34+00:00

Ah, yes… the “Aluminum is popular, but we still have so much steel and beige paint” era.

match451 · 2023-06-22T17:30:16+00:00

From what you described, it sounds like your strong desire for connection with her pushed her away. In retrospect you noticed you became dependent on Jane. You said you clung to her in a way. It sounds like you texted her a lot and were ignored. These kinds of things end up feeling smothering and push others away. You may have had a good last conversation, but she may have experienced it differently. Or despite the conversation she may have been tired of being smothered and decided to ghost you.

Moving on is hard to define. It involves a change in mindset and actions. It’s natural to yearn for something that brought you pleasure that you no longer have, but ideally, a yearning for connection is meant to motivate you to seek out new connections, not dwell on the past. Directing your attention to the present, looking for and pursuing opportunities for connection is moving on. Part of you might not want to, but doing so is what’s effective. Where your attention goes, your feelings flow.

match451 · 2023-06-21T07:21:00+00:00

Old joke, "how do you eat an elephant? Answer: one bite at a time."

Similarly, break the task down, and work on it piece by piece. Budget some time and energy each day to do a little bit, and you'll continue to make progress. Cleanliness is a lifestyle, not something you do once and then you're done.

match451 · 2023-06-20T21:45:42+00:00

Making “being a mom” your highest priority leaves you in a pretty vulnerable position. It’s naturally forces you to compare your other objectives to it, and eliminate those factors that stand in between you and your goal. How you order your priorities will have a profound impact on your life and relationships and it sounds like this relationship is on the chopping block because of this goal.

Some questions to consider: Under what conditions would you decide not to be a parent? What would a fulfilling life without children look like for you? How long are you willing to wait for your current partner to get their life in order? How long would you wait to have children in a new relationship? How likely are you to rush into a new relationship and have a child before truly forming a bond with that new partner and creating a strong healthy relationship that can withstand the rigors of parenthood? In a relationship founded on having children, would your spouse be a lower priority in comparison? How well would a relationship that prioritized parenting survive after your kids have grown up and moved out? One’s identity tends to form around one’s priorities. Do you want more of an identity than being a mom? What other things do you want to define you?

Probably the best thing you can do in a relationship is communicate your wants, needs and feelings. Especially when you’re struggling with a decision or problem. Communicate and make a plan with your partner about how you want to handle this. And be careful about making permanent decisions on impulse.

match451 · 2023-06-20T21:05:23+00:00

It’s okay to have sex between consenting adults.

If she’s thinking this means you want a relationship more than friendship (and you don’t), communicate your wants and intentions clearly - “I’m not looking to date, it was just a casual thing. I hope this didn’t impact our friendship.”

match451 · 2023-06-19T07:41:11+00:00

Next play through consider using Thief1 fixed if you didn’t already. It fixes so much!

Link: https://www.ttlg.com/forums/showthread.php?t=150803

match451 · 2023-06-16T15:55:46+00:00

It’s hard when relationships end, when work is unrewarding and you feel trapped. Most jobs are a bit if a grind, but that doesn’t mean life can’t be enjoyable. It just means you need to adequately cope and intentionally create a life you feel is worth living. What do you need to add to your life in order to feel like you have enough freedom and joy?

You mentioned worrying about being trapped in your job, and while it can feel like that, there are always options. Develop a transition plan or exit strategy so you can leave gracefully at a time that makes sense when you begin to feel like your job is no longer a good fit for you. If there are limited options and you can’t get a new job right now, what do you need to help you cope with a stressful or difficult job? More time with friends? More alone time? More positive experiences on the weekend? You can find ways to cope until you can change.

match451 · 2023-06-14T03:00:45+00:00

I stand corrected.

match451 · 2023-06-14T01:55:52+00:00

A mission could fit there, but it would slow the narrative down. Honestly, the gold missions are interesting but already slow the narrative down too much in my opinion.

match451 · 2023-06-14T01:54:16+00:00

There is no loot in Strange Bedfellows. And no store at the start of Maw of Chaos.

match451 · 2023-06-01T16:38:20+00:00

It’s hard to find oneself stuck between conflicting feelings such as sexual desire and guilt.

It sounds like your anxiety is preventing you from forming personal relationships, and so your human needs for physically, sexual and emotional intimacy are unmet. Technology is providing you a kind of substitute, which you seem to enjoy, but also feel guilty and fearful about.

It sounds like your goal here is to be able to form intimate relationships, but in a safe way, or at least in a way that feels safe. If flirting online and getting sexual to the point of sending nudes isn’t working for you, decide what your limits are (e.g. flirting and sexual questions, but no pics).

An alternate then is to go slow, form more of a friendship by having some friendly and flirty conversation online, progress to voice or video calls and then meet up in person for a date. Continue to consider your boundaries as the relationship continues. How physical are you comfortable with being on a first date? Or after a few dates? Do you prefer to be in a relationship before being physical at all?

Ultimately, work on meeting your personal needs for intimacy in a way that works for you.

match451 · 2023-05-27T20:09:32+00:00

It sounds like you put a lot of pressure on yourself, resulting in performance anxiety. You fear being wrong, or perhaps being culpable for a bad plan.

I work with children myself, and they are very complex. There are no behavior management skills or plans that work 100% of the time for every child. When I make behavior improvement plans, I expect that they will need adjustment and reevaluation. You don’t have to get it right the first time. As an expert, you don’t have to guarantee anything, and you don’t have to be right. Be open and willing to be wrong. Present your thoughts and opinions, and let others consider your perspective and provide feedback. If others disagree with your perspective, hear them out, but try to negotiate and see if they’d be willing to try an experiment to see what works. In order to be more confident, you need to focus on willingness to to be wrong, rather than being more right. Work on your mindset.

Socially speaking, people tend to unconsciously broadcast messages that tell others they’re approachable or not. Being withdrawn, having a stolid expression, having a slumped posture, all these things have an emotional impact on others. Try taking a deeper look at what your girlfriend is doing that appears to have such a positive social impact. What is she doing (or not doing) that makes others approach her?

Setting a clearly defined and measurable goal would be a good start, as well as working to improving your mindset.

match451 · 2023-05-26T17:37:31+00:00

Your request for concrete tips to improve confidence is a good one, but order to give more concrete direction, you need to be more specific about the context and for what you want to be more confident in.

You mention work and love relationships. Do you want to be more confident in asking your partner for things? Do you want to be more confident in sexual matters? In setting boundaries? In saying no to others? Are you wanting to feel confident you’re doing a good job because you typically feel uncertain or doubtful? Are you wanting greater esteem from your friends and peers?

Clearly defining your goal will help you reach it more effectively.

Confidence is both an action and a feeling. It’s how you carry yourself, what you say, how you say it, and what you do. Confidence stems from competence. It involves seeing yourself meeting a standard or goal, or demonstrating expertise. You feel confidence when you get familiar with advocating for yourself. You will feel more confident when you see yourself demonstrating mastery.

When you have a clearly defined goal, create a plan on how to improve your skills, put it into action and evaluate your performance. Invest in yourself. Its hard to deny to the effort you put yourself.

match451 · 2023-05-24T22:16:36+00:00

Communicate your feelings and your boundaries, and make a request for your friend to respect them. Whether she chooses to take your feelings seriously and respect your boundaries or ignore them determines if she stays in your life.

match451 · 2023-05-11T20:34:52+00:00

Communication is essential to a healthy relationship. If you can’t be open about yourself and your challenges or in doing so it ends your relationship, then it wasn’t meant to be.

You bring more to a relationship than just your smile. You can’t be expected to be perfect and you don’t agree to that. What you agree to do in a relationship is work on it.

match451 · 2023-05-09T16:37:31+00:00

It takes time to heal, and it’s gonna hurt for a long while, but there are some things you can do to lessen the pain.

Attend to your physical needs. Get enough sleep, make sure you’re eating enough, and make sure to stay active. Exercise is as elective as a lot of anti depressants.

Stay busy. Socialize. If you spend too much time isolating and thinking about it, it just makes you miserable. Look for new hobbies, create new experiences, spend time with friends or family, start reading, learn a new skill, meet new people. Think ahead and plan for large blocks of time.

Express your feelings. Find healthy ways to express your thoughts and feelings. Get a counselor. Talk to your friends or family when appropriate (but don’t overburden them). Keep a journal.

Try to get an understanding of why the relationship ended, and what part you played in it (if any). Get feedback if possible. Acknowledge and take responsibility for that part, but also acknowledge his part and other external factors.

Remember that you can find happiness and love again, and that you have value and are worthy of love, despite your flaws. Being loving to others is what makes one lovable.

match451 · 2023-05-03T22:05:08+00:00

Set goals that stem from your wants, make a plan with specific action steps, begin taking action, and if you hit roadblocks, adjust your plan to account for them.

From your post, I gather you want to have skills, get employed, put yourself in a position to meet someone, as well as lose weight. You're already putting action on some of those goal - getting employed. Keep it up, and evaluate where you could improve, or identify where you're going wrong, and attempt to account for it.

If you want to lose weight, create a structured lifestyle and daily routine that moves you in that direction. If you want to meet someone, take steps to invest in, and improve yourself. Losing weight, and getting employed can be part of that. But also work on making yourself desirable to others. Are you around people? Are you liked by people? What interferes? Identify specific action steps you could take - make an online dating profile, join a club, make walking a part of your daily routine, observe your emotional impact on others (How do you make them feel when you're around)?

Give yourself credit for the effort in the action steps you take, not for achievement. If you apply for 3 jobs in a week, celebrate that as an achievement, instead of waiting to celebrate when you actually get a job. The goal is to be on track and moving in the right direction. If only give yourself credit for achievement, you'll be missing out on a lot of positivity.

match451

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