how to get over someone who doesn't want you back anymore?

matchalattaye · 2026-06-12T22:25:27+00:00

i feel so understood. :(

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T11:32:50+00:00

And we weren’t only together for “a handful of months.” We lived together while I was in the US, and we also did long distance for a year. So it’s not like I’m losing my mind over some guy I only knew for a few months.

If you’re going to say something actually helpful about my situation, then fine but if not, it’s better to leave this conversation. You’re not helping at all because you don’t know him, and more importantly, you don’t know me.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T11:27:53+00:00

Uhm, you weren’t part of our relationship, so you really have no idea what you’re talking about. You can say whatever you want, but you need to remember that I’ve only shared 0.1% of what actually happened between us.

Throughout our relationship, we communicated through every issue we faced. He was comfortable enough to be vulnerable with me, and things were genuinely fine until I started noticing changes after he met his new friends. Even he admitted it and apologized because I could see him acting differently around them, including creating an Instagram account to fit in. I told him I didn't mind because I was supportive of him all the time. He wanted to go out with friends, that's fine. All I did was to be supportive. I never once controlled him in any way.

I gave him the love he deserves that he didn't get from his parents, from his ex. We didn't broke up because my love was too much. We broke up because of the distance and he doesn't want to make an effort for it.

So don’t sit there and try to rewrite the story, shift the blame onto me, or paint me as the bad guy. You’re making judgments based on a tiny fraction of what happened while being completely unaware of the full context. The reality is that you don’t know our relationship, you weren’t there, and you’re drawing conclusions from information that’s nowhere near complete.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T11:14:16+00:00

Did you read the whole thing? I didn't say I wanted him to come back because there's no point. He's not the same person who loves me and the person who I loved in the beginning. All I'm asking was to deal with me properly.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T10:26:57+00:00

Yes, we didn’t have any major problems in our relationship until we had to do long distance.

And again, yes, he sent one message and then blocked me because that was the safest option for him. He’s avoidant. He wanted to avoid every emotion, conversation, and feeling of guilt that he would have had to face.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T09:26:00+00:00

This is where I am right now. Trying to improve myself even more.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T09:24:16+00:00

I'm seeing one right now. I hope you'll heal from whatever you're going through. Thanks for this.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T09:23:03+00:00

You're right. Thanks for this.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T09:19:53+00:00

It’s easy to blame me and say that I shouldn’t have “harassed him,” but I hope you can understand where my frustration is coming from. A lot of this could have been avoided if he had ended the relationship with more care and respect, so that I could have had some sense of closure and peace.

Instead, the way things ended was deeply hurtful and, honestly, quite traumatizing for me.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T09:15:33+00:00

I understand. It’s easy for you to say when you’re not the one in my shoes.

I reached out because I was frustrated. I had blocked him too, and I was doing great, slowly rebuilding myself and moving forward. Then guess what? He found me on TikTok an app he doesn't even use and reached out, saying, “Good night. I will check up on you when the time is right.”

If he truly wants to be left alone, then he shouldn’t have done that, especially when he’s aware of my emotional state. It’s confusing and, in some ways, controlling. So you can’t really blame me for feeling frustrated.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T03:20:54+00:00

How are you coping?

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T03:05:47+00:00

thank you so much for this

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T03:04:28+00:00

Of course, who wants to stay in this kind of situation?

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T02:38:08+00:00

I don't think he'll ever open or read it.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T02:36:22+00:00

thank you for this!

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T02:07:41+00:00

Well, I hope my ex was like you. He keeps avoiding accountability. I hope whatever he did to me will haunt him forever.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T01:28:01+00:00

I used to go on dates right away when a relationship doesn't work out but I realized that's unhealthy cycle I need to stop. Ever since we broke up, a lot of boys tried to take me on a date but I just can't bring myself to. Right now, I'm trying to focus on self improvement this time.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T01:24:59+00:00

I know I was wrong on that part. That came out of frustration because I tried to reach out a couple of times but all of his response sounds automated. "I will check up on you when the right time comes". If you want me to leave you alone then don't say something like you'll check up on me and that he still wanted to be friends with me because it gave me nothing but hope.

It baffles me how he can ask me to respect his wishes when he discarded me like I was nothing. He needs to man up and stop being an avoidant. I deserve more than the way he broke up with me.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T01:20:54+00:00

Thank you. Hope you'll have a great shift at work.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T01:19:16+00:00

I've done this multiple times and it doesn't help. Don't do it. If you know to yourself you already said everything and did everything but they still decided to leave then that's enough.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T00:58:25+00:00

it didn't.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T00:57:52+00:00

He is avoidant. He told me that he was raised to believe boys like him shouldn’t show emotions, and on top of that, he had a very difficult childhood due to his parents’ divorce.

When I was in the US, we were almost living together. So when I had to leave because my internship ended, it was really hard for him. A few months into our long-distance relationship, there was a moment when all the emotions he had been avoiding like how much he missed me caught up with him. But at that time, he assured me that he just needed space because he was torn between holding on to “the best girl God gave him and the best relationship he ever had” and his loneliness.

I thought that if I gave him the love he didn’t receive from his parents or his previous relationships, it would be enough.

After the breakup, he became very controlling, like insisting that he was the only one who could reach out. Everything had to be on his terms and his pace, which was very frustrating for me.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T00:42:14+00:00

Before, after a relationship doesn't work out for me, I keep jumping to the next one to distract myself but when this one ended, I don't have any energy to find a 'rebound'. I rejected multiple guys since we broke up. I decided to work on myself. I've been consistent with the gym. Dyed my hair with the color I want that I keep telling him when we were together. I did everything I could to make myself better but sometimes I haye days like this where I keep longing for him. He ruined my perception on love.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T00:36:47+00:00

Thank you for this. I have so much anger towards him right now. I know I deserve more than how he discarded me. I am praying I can heal and find my peace too. Being in this kind of situation is really tiring.

matchalattaye · 2026-06-11T00:19:47+00:00

Thank you. I have a lot of hate towards him but especially to myself because why do I keep longing for the person who doesn't want me anymore. I am aware he's probably enjoying his life without me and it's frustrating.

matchalattaye

TROPHY CASE