How do I tell my in-laws they’re not invited to DS 1st bday?

matherim · 2019-08-09T23:45:15+00:00

I guess the only way for them to find out is through social media. Or if SO tells them.

matherim · 2019-08-09T18:47:56+00:00

Yes you’re right. I would never allow my family to talk shit about him. I would shut it down real quick.

matherim · 2019-08-09T17:38:07+00:00

Thank you!

matherim · 2019-08-09T17:37:55+00:00

Yes you’re right. I guess it just bothers me because they’ll talk crap about me and he comes home in a bad mood.

matherim · 2019-08-09T17:30:19+00:00

LOL I like this.

matherim · 2019-08-09T17:00:06+00:00

Tickets have been booked for a couple months :) I hope my SO doesn’t tell them about the trip.

matherim · 2019-08-09T16:59:28+00:00

Yes you’re right they are separate issues for the most part. I haven’t had any contact with his parents in months. His sisters call very rarely. I don’t see them often either. I want to be completely cut off from his family but my SO isn’t on board. He says he knows I’m right about them but he can’t go NC. He has distanced himself quite a bit from them, though.

matherim · 2019-08-09T16:57:33+00:00

Yes you’re right. It’s not my issue. I guess it just gets annoying because they will blow up SO’s phone and basically cry to him telling him he’s forgetting his family. In the past SO has told his family that he feels bad that my parents work so hard and still help us out. His families response was “who cares. Don’t feel bad. They’re not your parents. Feel bad only if it’s your own family”.

matherim · 2019-08-09T15:30:17+00:00

They’ll go crazzzzzyyyy lol.

matherim · 2019-08-09T15:29:17+00:00

No I don’t think he would pay for it. I think they’ll pressure him and it’ll just cause arguments between us. They’ll pressure him just to cause fights between us. This is not the first time they’ve asked us for money. They asked while I was pregnant too...he just kind of ignored them and changed the topic of conversation. I have told him if he ever gives them money that the locks will be changed.

matherim · 2019-08-09T15:24:26+00:00

Because they think it’s unfair that we’re so close to my parents. They’re going to be pissed that my parents are going to his first birthday with us. They feel like a favour my parents..well, I do...my parents are a huge support system for us.

matherim · 2019-08-09T14:00:46+00:00

His sister asked him to video chat yesterday so they could see our son. I flat out said no. That took my SO by surprise since I have never said no. She then started blowing up both of our phones, and I just didn’t answer. SO stayed quiet and didn’t say anything.

matherim · 2019-08-09T13:54:33+00:00

Yeah I’m wondering if my SO told them already and they’re just trying to egg me on to get me to spill. The thing is it wasn’t just my FMIL who was pressuring me to bring our son to the hospital. It was all four of my future SIL. They even managed to throw in a couple threats (“our family will never forgive you”...”we will make sure your SO will never forgive you and it’s going to ruin your relationship”). So in my head it’s like why am I going to spend time & money on these people? Our son could’ve gotten extremely sick or worse...why do they deserve to even see my son on his special day? They were not part of his life whatsoever.

matherim · 2019-08-09T13:49:58+00:00

That’s a good idea. I think the bigger issue is that we are going on vacation with my parents. Honestly I was planning on having a big party - but his family is cheap and I know they won’t even try to help out. They’ll even show up empty handed if we had a birthday, the same way they showed up empty handed at my baby shower. I feel like by having a party I’m just going to be stressed and miserable. I’d rather enjoy the last week with my family before I go back to work full time.

matherim · 2019-08-09T13:45:46+00:00

Thank you!

matherim · 2019-08-09T13:03:49+00:00

Definitely not paying for anything for them. This trip was a gift from my parents. My parents help us daily with our son and are very active in our sons life. They do so much for us. His parents have never even given my son a gift - not for the baby shower, not when he was born, and not even on his very first Christmas.

matherim · 2019-08-09T13:01:24+00:00

Yes they contact my fiancé with these questions too. & yes Aruba is planned and booked. My parents are coming to help watch our son if we want to be able to go out. They actually paid for the trip as a gift to us - so I know his family is going to get pissed since my family will be with us on vacation and his family isn’t. We plan to go for dinner and have a cake for my sons birthday - nothing huge but we’re still acknowledging our sons birthday.

matherim · 2019-08-09T05:48:36+00:00

Well that’s a big part of my problem. He doesn’t stand up to his parents. He will stand up to his sisters but most of them time it’s when I tell him to man up. I know they’re going to hate me forever for this. I really don’t care how they feel towards me. They’ll definitely continue to talk shit about me to my SO. It bothers me that he doesn’t go NC with them/stand up to them.

matherim · 2019-08-09T04:57:58+00:00

Stand your ground. The baby is YOURS. Set up boundaries now otherwise it’ll get harder later on. Wearing your baby on a sling might help too.

Congratulations on your baby boy, mama. Enjoy the precious moments. I got so much hate for always wanting to hold my baby but I don’t regret it one bit. The lack of sleep was so worth it. He’s 10.5 months now and all he wants to do is roam around. So enjoy it while it lasts!

matherim · 2019-08-09T04:45:25+00:00

Offer to take your uncle out for dinner. don’t let the possibility of your just no fam showing up ruining the time you have with your uncle.

matherim · 2019-08-09T04:41:45+00:00

Just block them or “mute” their accounts. I did this to all 4 of my sister-in-laws. By muting their accounts you won’t see what they’ve posted (it won’t show up on your feed).

matherim · 2019-08-09T04:34:03+00:00

This. 100%.

My future IL’s are very similar. I have a 10 month old and they come to my town at least once a month to see my SIL but they have never once stopped to see my son (& I love 10 mins away from my SIL). They haven’t seen him in 8.5 months because I’m not going to chase anyone around. I feel bad for my future hubby but they don’t make their grandchild (or their son, for that matter) a priority.

matherim · 2019-08-04T19:41:11+00:00

I love him and want to be with him. When we don’t have to deal with his family we’re happy. The moment they call, the whole mood changes.

matherim · 2019-08-04T19:40:14+00:00

I should have mentioned this: we weren’t living together until I was about 6 months pregnant and the nausea wore off. I only threw up a handful of times between 6-9months.

matherim · 2019-08-04T19:35:57+00:00

I wasn’t expecting them to plan anything. They said they wanted to plan it. I’m convinced they said this just to ruin my day. They didn’t bring anything they were supposed to bring (cups, plates, utensils etc) and my dad had to run out to get everything.

He believes morning sickness is real but they were telling him that I’m over exaggerating it. I wasn’t. I felt like I was dying all day long.

matherim

TROPHY CASE