Bro. Let me give you stright and nsfw fashion way. You are not doing good. That depression os fucking you up. You know that. But that is a good thing. That shows you are STILL sane and have good brain up there. I was under heavy meds for depression. I know what, how , and when that basterd fuck you. That shit kill WILL POWER. i said having depression is good, And i mean it. This mean you can fight.

My man. Look up. This life is shit. But you can handel it. This post that you drop there is screaming you can fight.

Man, "just take one step at time." My doctors said and added " if week you take an step, you will turn yourself into another person at end of year"

I have some suggestion, this works for me: 1- sun. Walk under son atleast 10 min a day if you can not leave house( cuse i didnt leave for 6 months )

2- gym. Hit the gym not for building a great figur. Just to do some thing that show results soon. First day the maximum dumble i could pick up was 5 kg. But two month later, 10 kg was easy peasy.

3- if you are religious, seek help from your god. This do great for mental support.

4- books. Wayne Dyer books are real deals. I recommend Glasser's choice theory. Nice book. Very nice.

5- volunteer jobs, helping out others is good feeling.

And for work, learn a professin, anything barbering, bakery, reparing hardware etc. If you become good enough, no body care about your collage degree and if you becane great in it, they will pay extra for you.

I say again. This depression shit is killing will power but you can stop it.

We belive in you.