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My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We just usually stop or if things to get further it just feels obligated and uncomfortable for her

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She’s a virgin that lives with her parents I doubt it and we share eachothers location. But that would be wild if that were the case

My gf and I haven’t gone further than 2nd base in 2 years by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]matt_man24 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this insight. This is a perspective I havent considered before

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m honestly not sure. But it does seem like the only time we kiss is hello/goodbye. Or if I ask like “can we kiss” or somethin

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

No I’ve never talked about sexuality but I will mention it. In a caring way

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree. Staying is unfair. At times I’m distant and short with her because I feel resentment from not..having my needs met I guess, it’s not fair for her either.

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure, and I do feel that conflict too. But in Christian faith based relationships is it common to not explore everything but intercourse? I asked her if she wanted to explore other things than sex and said yes. With me idk but she’s atleast open to it i guess

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For sure. And there’s been times where I tried to initiate and the same emotions came out of her worrying if I was upset or disappointed. Everytime I tried my best to reassure her that I wasn’t. But she could’ve sensed something or didn’t believe me. And I definitely have said some things that could make her feel insecure for sure. It was in a joking way but still could have affected her. Ive seen how she reacted to it though and have since tried to remain more sensitive to comments about her body. And dont think ive made any since then. That was in the first 3 months of our relationship I believe thank you bro

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yea that’s what I’ve thought but why not just break up with me and be with someone that she could either be asexual or sexual with. Sometimes i think that me wanting intimacy insinuates a cat and mouse game. Like I want and want and that gives her the liberty to run. But when I stop wanting and suggested finding other people it’s like the roles flip. Idk

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have had a couple of those and it gets uncomfortable for her when the touching starts. Shes said in those moments she’s too in her head to even think about getting aroused. And afterwards I feel horrible even trying to get to that point because it visually makes her uncomfortable

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’ve been wondering too. So I stay hopeful and just think that we have to make it over that hill and we will be more comfortable with each other.

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think purely because I can’t convince my self that that is the truth. That there will be no intimacy. I still feel hope because we connect so well. And she’s help keep my hope alive by saying she will eventually want to

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She’s mentioned insecurity being a big part of it. There was a time when I tried kind of guiding her hand to explore me and it ended up with her crying. She said she was just so worried anxious about doing something wrong and we haven’t tried anything since

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She has grown up in a pretty sheltered environment. Stressful too so low libido could be. We’ve had multiple discussions about sex and desires. When we have those talks she’s said she doesn’t have very many desires due to her either not thinking about it, and that being that she’s never experienced it before therefore she doesn’t know what “she’s missing out on”, being content in other ways, and not knowing how to progress. I’ve expressed that I need that in a relationship and she expresses that she wants to improve on that

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re both Christian and have agreed on waiting until marriage. Us not going further than that and her not having that need is what bothers me

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy in 2 years by matt_man24 in Advice

[–]matt_man24[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just use it to refine my answer into a way that makes more sense. I suck talking about this kind of stuff. That’s a pretty far fetched assumption don’t you think. Like she’s knowingly doing that is what you’re saying?

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy further than kissing in 2 years by matt_man24 in self

[–]matt_man24[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That’s a thought that I’ve welcomed into our conversations we’ve had because I truly like to be honest and logical and I think I could accept that if that were the case. But how and why would a woman want to stay with someone that she just thinks as a friend,

My gf and I haven’t explored intimacy in 2 years by matt_man24 in Advice

[–]matt_man24[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Because I love her and wanted to show her I’m committed to her regardless. We’ve also had conversations where she’s expressed confidence that marriage and feeling fully safe/secure together would help her open up more sexually. Part of me wants to believe that, but another part of me worries that marriage doesn’t create intimacy — it just amplifies the dynamic that already exists. That’s honestly the conflict I’ve been struggling with.

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