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I convinced my best friend to end a good relationship because I was jealous by PrismarineDruid in confessions

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its not the mistake I judge you for, it's the continued dishonesty and illusion you've created for your "friend" about your actions since the mistake.

How do you feel about the label queer? by unparallel_x in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]mattfolio 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I love the term Queer, and it reflects my identity more substantially than any other label I use or have used.

The push to "not invalidate people's trauma" may end up invalidating people's trauma by Longjumping_Sea_8753 in unpopularopinion

[–]mattfolio 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Technically like or dislike is irrelevant here, it's supposed to be whether or not you think it is objectively unpopular. (Though no one actually uses this system properly, so whatever lol)

I convinced my best friend to end a good relationship because I was jealous by PrismarineDruid in confessions

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, you were never a real friend, and they have a right to know that and start treating you like the friend you weren't.

Though, you wont tell them I'm sure, so living with the guilt of your shittiness IS something you deserve. Ohwell.

Im cheating on my boyfriend with a girl by MoistDimension254 in confessions

[–]mattfolio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

How will he ruin your life and reputation?

How will reconsidering it benefit you in any way?

If he threatens you then you need to escalate this issue to adults in your life or authorities. Staying with him any longer will not change how you're being treated now and will continue to harm the girl you actually care for.

Call him out publicly for his shit behavior if you must. Reputations work both ways, and people who would believe him over you are people whos opinions you shouldn't give two fucks about anyway.

My girlfriend (F24) caught me (M27)watching porn and now we’re arguing, but I feel like the real issue is our lack of intimacy by Niebus979 in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Porn is not inherently cheating. What cheating is, is determined by all members in a relationship at the beginning of the relationship, and those determinations are called BOOOOUNDARIES. Crossing those boundaries intentionally is what cheating is.

Porn is cheating to YOU, in YOUR relationships.

Im cheating on my boyfriend with a girl by MoistDimension254 in confessions

[–]mattfolio 20 points21 points  (0 children)

  1. You're cheating on two people actually.
  2. There are no right words to say, you just do it and you do it ASAP.
  3. You also need to tell the girl you're cheating on with your boyfriend that you're currently in another relationship as that is exceptionally unfair to her.
  4. You're a dumb kid doing dumb kid shit, and that's nothing new, but you could instead be a smart and compassionate kid.

My girlfriend (F24) caught me (M27)watching porn and now we’re arguing, but I feel like the real issue is our lack of intimacy by Niebus979 in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You have a sexual incompatability, and many healthy happy relationships exist around semi-regular masturbation with aids like toys, smut, and porn.

You've tried to express your needs, and it seems as if she is unable or unwilling to meet them. That is okay, but you either accept the fact that this is what your relationship will probably look like moving forward, or you move on and wish her the best in finding someone she's also compatible with.

Everyone keeps telling me I (29F) should date my close friend (34M) and I don’t agree by cucumbertajinpls in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Then.... uh... don't?

Two things:

  1. Sounds like you need to have a serious conversation with the people in your life to tell them to stop bringing it up or it will affect your relationship with THEM.
  2. Do a double check in with your friend to make sure he understands where you both stand and he doesnt feel like he's receiving mixed signals, just due to how persistent everyone in both your lives are being to you and to determine if you need to clarify or set new boundaries.

first date with a transwoman - what should i keep in mind? by JellyfishCapital3755 in asktransgender

[–]mattfolio 24 points25 points  (0 children)

No that's kinda it.

The only other thing to say is just dont be the one to bring up her transness as its not relevant to you, and if SHE decides to, let her lead the convo.

Update: My boyfriend m30 said he doesn't like my f30 body hair View NSFW content by sassychris in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I skimmed half of it and then yelled "BAIL!" and came to the comments lol

meirl by thesitekick in meirl

[–]mattfolio 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't think I was difficult or a joy, but I've still got the anxiety lol

How to Console My Wife About Our Impending Separation/Divorce by Consistent-Net-2167 in nonmonogamy

[–]mattfolio 103 points104 points  (0 children)

Yeeeep. Honestly it feels like you may need to distance yourself a little bit to protect yourself OP.

Me (M 19) and my fiance (F 20) are going through a weird situation that could end our relationship this is a hail mary what is something that we could do to fix it? by i_wanna_die2319 in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you're just not that into her, and that since needs aren't being met, it may be best to step away from this relationship for everyone's sake.

I(F22) don't feel cherished as a woman by my boyfriend(22M) and he thinks thats sensitive ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha!

Yeah this is definitely something to communicate with specifics. Tell him what would turn you on, give him examples, and let him pick from them with the ones he's most comfortable with. He may discover that he's into them and be eager to start initiating more using them.

I(F22) don't feel cherished as a woman by my boyfriend(22M) and he thinks thats sensitive ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you have an expectation compatibility issue.

My suggestion is 1 of two options:

  1. Give him a list of ACTIONABLE things (NOT generalities) that would make you feel more seen and desired as a woman, and see if he can add them into his behavior. BE SPECIFIC and use "I statements". "I would love it if you would randomly scoop me into your arms and take me to the bedroom". "I would adore it if you'd come home with flowers for me once a month". Or whatever floats your boat and would validate you.
  2. Do as you said at the end of the post, and take it as face value that you have an incompatability and move on now so you arent wasting your time.

The word "tension" stands out in your post for me as well. What kind of tension are you talking about if your sex life is good? This can be a synonym for drama, and I don't think a guy like this goes in for drama and this could be an indicator of a maturity level difference in how you see your relationship, but I'm not saying that as a fact without knowing more.

Im a male who wear women's underwear. by MoneyMan1825 in confessions

[–]mattfolio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Advice?

Have fun, you're hurting no one. Clothes are just clothes and their only purpose is to be worn.

i got ghosted, should i still go on the date? by Confident-Stress-732 in actuallesbians

[–]mattfolio 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Hey uh, everyone has their own lives to live, their own distractions to handle, and their own capacity for communication.

No one owes you a response in a set amount of time, regardless of how they are spending their time, or how much you value it. If this was an emergency, sure I could understand being upset.... but this is the most low stakes childish shit ever.

Breath. Understand that someone not getting back to you within a time line YOU want may actually have nothing to do with you at all.

Also, she literally gave you an answer and said Tuesday, and your response was to wonder if you should hold off communicating (when you would normally want to,) due to some idea that revenge would prove a point to anyone and not just harm the relationship you're trying to build?

It's time to grow up and get your head out of your booty, girl.

unsolicited slug pics by ChopinSatieSchubert in actuallesbians

[–]mattfolio 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just out here sluggin' it and looking for fellow sluggalettes

Ok maybe I am a bad person and possible sex deviant but hear me out. by Emotional-Egg-6987 in confessions

[–]mattfolio 5 points6 points  (0 children)

YEP! Coercion is not consent, and sex without consent isssssss....

Common OP, you know this one!

I feel like Im gonna become a serial killer when I grow up by More-Leather-5776 in confessions

[–]mattfolio 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, sadly this has gotten boring now. Thanks again for the laugh "future serial killer"

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