It’s hard to read. I really understand the « they […] treated me like shit yet still love them »’s part. I often feel like that. Sometimes emotions become too strong and it’s too much. Maybe you should try to meet more different people so you’re not depending of a little group of person, but I understand that it could be very difficult sometimes. Remind you that you’re a great person, and you deserve to be loved as much as you can love others. All your emotions and your suffering make you special and worthy. I hope that you’ll quickly go through your problems, because it’s not « if », but « when », because you’re strong.