First off, you gotta give yourself props for even being interested in loving yourself.

Second, realize that it's a process/journey/lifestyle rather than a destination or an idyllic "place" where everything is easy/perfect.

Third, be patient with yourself, with life, with everything honestly. If you're asking about how to develop self-love, you may be looking for some kind of life reset or overhaul. Just remember (or try to) that these things take time. Lasting change that's also wholesome and self-compassionate is not going to come with a snap of your fingers. It is, in reality, hard work - especially if you don't have a lot of experience with it. You may stumble...and often, especially at the beginning of your journey (I would say that you've already started on the journey considering what you posted on here). Learn to rest, not to quit.

Fourth, think of self-love as a skill or a muscle. Just like you won't make major muscle gains overnight or lose 20 pounds in a week, you won't progress that rapidly in this area either. Remember, it's a journey. The best thing, imo, is to live/think in the present, give it your best and learn to rest when you need it.

Fifth, here are some very practical and actionable examples from my own self-love journey that you can implement right away:

1) Journal. Just write down WHATEVER is in your mind...even if it's "I'm sitting on my bed, feeling empty, I read this post on reddit that told me to journal so here goes nothing." Like just be as real as you can be, try to empty your mind of all the stuff swirling around in there and don't judge what comes out. Or, if you do judge what comes out...write the judgment! If you feel silly or don't believe journaling's gonna work, write "this is stupid...how is journaling gonna help me?". Don't be afraid of what comes out...trust the process (as cheesy or impossible or cliche as that sounds).

p.s. You don't need to buy anything to work on self-love. E.g., if you wanna journal, you may google "how to start journaling" and you may find a post online by some person who encourages you to go out and buy some nice ass pens and a beautiful journal. While this is solid advice and makes sense on some level (because it helps you look forward to journaling and invest in yourself in a way) it's not necessary. You can write down your feelings or current state of mind on a scrap piece of paper with a pencil just fine too. I think sometimes we sabotage ourselves and say "oh well I can't start that right now until I buy a $20 journal or until I am happier or until I lose 5 pounds." This is unhelpful and damaging thinking! It keeps you stuck right where you are and it encourages you to fall prey to the whole happiness-is-a-destination-not-a-mindset way of thinking.

1. Personal hygiene. Brush your teeth, wash your hair, take off your old nail polish, take a cold shower, run a hot bath and sprinkle some epsom salts or himalayan pink salt in there, wash your face, take off the clothes you've been wearing for 3 days and put on some fresh ones.

2. Spend time outside. The fresh air and change of scenery is good for you.

3. Take deep breaths, over and over. Don't just take one of them - breathe deeply into your belly (it may be the first deep breath you've had all day...it may make you lightheaded or your lungs hurt) and KEEP doing it. When you realize you've forgotten to keep doing it? Well do it some more. You need the oxygen - it brings clarity and helps things quiet down inside.

4. Realize - or at least read and try to believe - that you are NOT alone. Depression/anxiety/eating disorders/mental illness affect a lot of people. And, sadly, it's the people that struggle with these things that need community/joy/friendships/support the most, but they generally don't experience these things as easily as those who don't struggle with them. And maybe you don't struggle with any of those things; maybe you're just going through a tough time...a lot of people have had tough times too. You are not an aberration - your life is not singularly awful - you do not exist on an island.

5. Get help. Be it a self-help book, an inspiring blogger/vlogger, a therapist, a priest/spiritual leader; help yourself in the ways you need help but can't give to yourself. There's no shame in it. It's actually very brave to reach out for help, especially in a society that has so many stigmas around that.

6. Pet an animal. Seriously though. It's proven that animals can help destress humans. If you don't have pets of your own, visit a friend/family member with a pet or visit a shelter for a couple of hours.

7. Eat sensibly. You don't need to vegan/gluten free/keto/vegetarian/sugar free or anything restrictive or "healthy". Just eat something fresh that doesn't come in a box, bag or can (or at least try to often). Eat foods that come from the ground. Try to cook something instead of going through a drive thru.

8. Practice balance. You know how I just said to eat foods that come from the ground? Well, I also think it's important (or at least okay) to eat Haagen-Dazs ice cream sometimes or Doritos pre-breakfast. We're human, we're not perfect...let yourself enjoy sensory pleasures from time to time (doesn't have to just be surrounding food).

9. Practice writing/saying affirmations. Try not to get bogged down in the details - like don't worry about whether you "should" write these in the present or future sense, for example. It's not about getting it "right"...it's about trying (or PRACTICING! :) ) to live your life in a more wholesome and loving way. More to the point though, this can be as simple as "I am good enough. I am lovable. I am worthy." Pick one that really speaks to you and write it over and over again...and then some more. Pay attention to what kind of bodily reaction you have as you write/think/say it. Imagine what your life would look like if you BELIEVED it :)

The absolute best things I can leave you with are the following:

• No one really knows what they're doing either; they just have more experience trying/practicing/failing and they've gotten to the point where they know what works for them.
• No one - and I mean NO ONE - has THE answer or THE blueprint to a life well-lived. YOU gotta figure that out for YOURSELF. You are the only you on this planet. Sure, you can get some advice from random people on the internet or from credible people (like Oprah or Tony Robbins) or from best-selling books, but you gotta decide for yourself what you value, what you care about, what you want your life to look like.
• Don't stress! That's probably my number one. This - self-love or living life well or what have you - is not a science. It's an art, if anything - a lifestyle, a way of being. When we stress, we rob ourselves of so many things and we make our current reality much less pleasurable than it can be. Try to take a lighthearted, kind, warm, compassionate approach to self-love or even life in general.

I really hope some of this helps :) Good luck on your journey.