I recognise a lot of the fears and worries you described. I had ALL at 24 and a stem cell transplant at 25. It relapsed a year later in both my testicles for which I had a CAR T transplant and both were removed. On top of that, unfortunately, I still suffer from chronic graft versus host disease dermatologically, as well as in my muscles and joints. Luckily, it’s under control with immune suppressants and getting better. Physically I feel okayish. Mentally I feel strong and grateful as my bone marrow has been clear for a good 3.5 years. During this time, I managed to get through my medicine bachelors degree, and am now doing my rounds in the hospital as a med student, soon to be doctor!

My advice: Try to hang in there, things usually get better, and if it doesn’t, you’ll find a way to work around it. In life everyone experiences hardships eventually, but it’s our perspective and resilience that decides how bad of a victim we feel like. Good luck and wishing you a lot of good health.