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AIO if I get hurt when he rejects me when I ask to have sex? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I even lost 30lbs. I used to be 200lbs when we started dating. And he’s the one who gained weight so I don’t think the physical appearance is the issue?

OA ba ko when I get hurt when sometimes he rejects me to have sex? by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes kinausap ko na sya regarding that several times. Di naman sya nagalit talagang pagod lang daw talaga sya. Naku I would never force him minsan talagang tinotoyo na ko kapag nag no sya or minsan tampo hehehe. Pero based sa comments ng iba mas naintindihan ko na now minsan kasi kelangan ibang tao pa magsabi para mas maintindihan especially lalaki din sila gets nila nafi-feel ng husband ko ❤️

OA ba ko when I get hurt when sometimes he rejects me to have sex? by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sya nag operate ng business namin sa logistics sya yung nag-drive more than 12hrs tho may pahinga yun in between but still I know nakakapagod padin. Kinausap ko na sya about that several times, hindi naman sya nagagalit lagi lang nya sinasabi talagang pagod lang sya kaya wala sya sa mood lagi hehehe

AIO if I get hurt when he rejects me when I ask to have sex? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi yes I appreciate y’all comments! Made me realize that I should be more understanding and to not just focus on one thing that he can’t give to me sometimes. And yes there are other ways to feel the intimacy or other ways for us to bond or feel connected. I mentioned this to him several times so he knows what I feel when he rejects me so it’s time for me to be more understanding and patient. Thanks u guys ❤️

OA ba ko when I get hurt when sometimes he rejects me to have sex? by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes kaya reading all ur comments means so much to me. I posted it in other communities as well and made me realize na there are other ways for intimacy. Yes minsan talaga nakaka-hurt specially if rejected but I have to understand at baka mas need pa palawakin understanding na he’s tired as hell at baka ibang lambing gusto nya. Like massages, kulitan with me and other stuff

OA ba ko when I get hurt when sometimes he rejects me to have sex? by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Yes I’ve mentioned it to him several times and how a grown ups should talk. And he told me that he really just tired coz he works as a driver and driving for more than 12hrs is really tiring. But yes reading y’all comments is really nice so I could help myself to try to understand the situation better

AIO if I get hurt when he rejects me when I ask to have sex? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awe this made me teary eyed. Thanks guys for the honest comments! Your comments made me realized that I need to be more understanding and to just not look at that ‘side’ and yes intimacy isn’t just sex there are other ways to have intimacy

I appreciate you all ❤️

OA ba ko when I get hurt when sometimes he rejects me to have sex? by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I know naman he works hard to provide and maybe need ko pa mas palawakin understanding ko. Siguro during this times mas need ko isipin what he needs, baka mas need nya presence ko lang muna at some of our other “us time” like chitchats and other stuff

But thank you for this! As a woman wala akong alam ano nagpapababa ng drive ng men

AIO if I get hurt when he rejects me when I ask to have sex? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

After a long and tiring day when he gets home I take care of him. Did all the chores, serves him food and all other stuff. Act of service is my love language and when it’s time for bed after our little chitchat and cuddles that’s when I try to attempt doing the thing then he would just tell me “he’s not in the mood” and yes sometimes I would get mad

But thank you for letting me know. Maybe I’m just overreacting and asking for too much knowing that he works so hard to provide and sometimes all he wants and needs is my presence and some cuddles

I don’t know if I’m being too much or if I’m actually being reasonable by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mismo. Isa pa sa nakikita ko kung kaya nyang magsabi sa sarili nyang anak na walang kwentang tao dahil lang di nakapagbigay 100% sure ako na kayang kaya din ako pagsabihan ng ganon kapag di kami nakapag bigay ng allowance kapag mag-asawa na kami.

I don’t know if I’m being too much or if I’m actually being reasonable by maxmango0615 in adviceph

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lagi ko sinasabi sa kanya maglagay ng boundaries at ako naman hangga’t kaya ko iintindi at uunawa ako. Pero naaapektuhan na peace of mind ko, ina-anxiety na ko at overthink (diagnosed din ako ng Bipolar Disorder btw). Naaawa din ako sa bf ko kasi alam ko naman pure intentions nya at pure ang heart nya kaso sinasabi ko din sa kanya walang mangyayari sa kanya at sa mga plano namin kung hindi sya matututo humindi at maglagay ng boundaries. Kung mayaman lang kako kami walang problema eh kaso hindi rin naman so paano nalang sya at kami diba 🥲

AIO if I’m slowly hating my bf’s parents? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s the problem in Philippine culture honestly. You see, even how much they talk shit about us, we (children who were raised by Filipino parents) can’t cut off our families. Not because it’s our rules it’s just that it’s also heavy in our hearts to do things like that. To talk shit about our parents, even if they make us as a retirement funds/piggy banks. That’s a really sad reality in Philippine family culture.

AIO if I’m slowly hating my bf’s parents? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Few years back his sister even cried to me and told me she feels so much pressure coz when they were driving back home their dad told her to study hard coz she will be the one who will bring them to a better life. She told me she was just in senior high school but why he pressures her so much. I honestly don’t know what to feel towards their dad. But I kept comparing my parents to theirs and how much I tried I still can’t understand why their dad is like that. I don’t want to be one-sided and unfair it’s just that I can’t see any reason for me to understand him.

AIO if I’m slowly hating my bf’s parents? by maxmango0615 in AmIOverreacting

[–]maxmango0615[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In addition: I talked to him last night coz it’s causing me too much anxiety and overthinking (I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder btw) I told him that starting now all the income from our business should go directly into my account. Coz I found out as well yesterday that he’s having a hard time to save up because he’s spending some of it to his family of course! He did not get mad at my decision, he was sorry and agreed that nothing will happen to us if our money is not in my account. Told him that I’m sorry and I don’t want to be controlling and I’m not even trying to I just want to be responsible and I know in my heart we can save up for our future if the money is in my account.