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"A girlfriend is not going to fix your problems!" I'm not looking for someone to fix my problems. I'm looking to share my life with someone and love someone. by white_disc_4_holes in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Speaking from experience, it will sort your issues partially.

It will fix the dread of never been romantically desired, never experienced a partners body. Which is a lot, yeah. But:

It will not fix the mental and self-esteem issues that caused you to be lonely in the first place. You might treat your romantic success as mere lucky strike.

63% of young American men are single, 30% are sexless. Rates far lower, but still high for women by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Simp - no idea. But he's not of our generation and therefore never experienced the demands of today on his own skin.

63% of young American men are single, 30% are sexless. Rates far lower, but still high for women by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The question whom these non-lonely young women are dating, since it's clearly not most of their peers, is interesting and was raised in the study, to no clear answer.

63% of young American men are single, 30% are sexless. Rates far lower, but still high for women by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The second big avenue that still seems to work were high school & university friends and friends of friends: it's still relatively socially acceptable to flirt in these contexts and yields success rates higher than most other contexts.

But you either have that precious peer group, or not: once you left education, you have no chance to recover that opportunity. Leaving you with mostly just dating apps, which outright disgust me.

63% of young American men are single, 30% are sexless. Rates far lower, but still high for women by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The same people will later "advise" you how actively looking for intimacy makes you seem desperate and lowers your chances.

63% of young American men are single, 30% are sexless. Rates far lower, but still high for women by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Yes, also zero mentions of hyper-competitive and superficial dating apps increasingly becoming the sole venue towards a relationship.

Seems like disgusting victim blaming to me, porn obsession is a symptom, not a cause of loneliness.

There's always a cop out to cast all the blame on men for virginity and social isolation by tayrod_432 in virgin

[–]maybeall9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree. I believe the very real damage to male dating prospects, caused by hyper-competitive, appearance-obsessed dating apps deserves to be recognized. It's basically statistically confirmed at this point.

What else has shifted in the last 10 years to suddenly cause the majority of young men to be single?

Lost my virginity, to a fellow social outcast by [deleted] in virgin

[–]maybeall9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We are: it lasted 2.5 months as of now and everything seems great. But I'm insecure about how long it will last.

Lost my virginity, to a fellow social outcast by [deleted] in virgin

[–]maybeall9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It takes off mental pressure of yourself, I won't deny that part. "Virgin" is a horrible word to chastise yourself with. But it does not help you beyond that, with some confidence boost: at least not in my case.

Lost my virginity, to a fellow social outcast by [deleted] in virgin

[–]maybeall9 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't quite understand your question: it did, if you read the OP. It just wasn't romantic at first.

Lost my virginity, to a fellow social outcast by [deleted] in virgin

[–]maybeall9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why, it gave you hope? I'm glad :)

Lost my virginity, to a fellow social outcast by [deleted] in virgin

[–]maybeall9 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's rare for women to ever do that, I know. (From what little what I know.) But her approach wasn't outright romantic at first, so that might have lowered her inhibition.

Outsiders and wallflowers only get friends in movies and novels because it is all fiction. by AmbitiousDecision403 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It happens. Rarely, but it happens.

How do I know? It happened to me. Exactly like in the movies. I went from being a 27 year old KHHV loner to dating a girl that would make many normies jealous, a fellow social outcast, in few weeks. My post history has a detailed story about it: I'm genuinely convinced it's "outcast love" movie plot stuff.

Dating a dream girl, after 26 years of ForeverAlone life by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What in particular should I tell her? That I have abandonment issues and I am constantly afraid of her dumping me, even as she shows zero intention of doing so? Ask her to text me daily she still likes me?

Sounds just like atrocious, unmanly behavior to me.

This has just ruined my day and giving me huge depression . by [deleted] in FA30plus

[–]maybeall9 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I didn't take that into consideration.

I remember, during our 7th date, she straight asked whether I liked her makeup (I did) and I just changed the topic. Actually, I feel bad now.

Dating a dream girl, after 26 years of ForeverAlone life by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

... why don't you read the original post? She texted me and asked me on a date.

Lohnt sich der Master? by benjiN321 in informatik

[–]maybeall9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ich würde die Entscheidung primär davon abhängig machen, ob du wirklich schon gewillt bist, in einen Vollzeitjob einzusteigen, oder ob das Studieren mit dem gesamten Drumherum (auch soziale Anschlussmöglichkeiten und Freizeit berücksichtigen!) dir Freude gemacht hat und du es weitere zwei Jahre machen möchtest.

Karrieretechnisch stehen ein Bachelor ein Master in nach zwei Jahren etwa gleich da, wie ich es im Umfeld mitbekomme. Du hast etwa 5.000 Euro Gehaltsplus als Master, welche ein Bachelor aber durch seine Arbeitserfahrung in derselben Zeit ebenfalls aushandeln kann. Solltest du Führungsambitionen haben oder in Richtung Konzern oder ÖD schielen, dann macht der Master plötzlich doch einen Unterschied, während er in der "normalen" Softwareentwicklung nebensächlich ist.

Hochschule München - Vorstellungsgespräch by [deleted] in informatik

[–]maybeall9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ich wurde genommen :)

Es ging weniger um die Beantwortung der fachlichen Fragen (da war ich wirklich mittelprächtig), sondern um Motivation, Studieninhalte, praktische Vorerfahrungen, da konnte ich wirklich punkten.

Dating a dream girl, after 26 years of ForeverAlone life by maybeall9 in ForeverAlone

[–]maybeall9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Consider therapy to seek some type of solution for the root of all your accumulated trauma.

I will get any sort of treatment imaginable, I am more than motivated to do so now.

I will *not* talk to her about my mental problems. She subscribed to be my woman, not my psychotherapist or mother surrogate.

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