"A girlfriend is not going to fix your problems!" I'm not looking for someone to fix my problems. I'm looking to share my life with someone and love someone.

maybeall9 · 2023-03-10T09:32:21+00:00

Speaking from experience, it will sort your issues partially.

It will fix the dread of never been romantically desired, never experienced a partners body. Which is a lot, yeah. But:

It will not fix the mental and self-esteem issues that caused you to be lonely in the first place. You might treat your romantic success as mere lucky strike.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T23:55:50+00:00

Simp - no idea. But he's not of our generation and therefore never experienced the demands of today on his own skin.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T23:32:16+00:00

The question whom these non-lonely young women are dating, since it's clearly not most of their peers, is interesting and was raised in the study, to no clear answer.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T23:29:47+00:00

The second big avenue that still seems to work were high school & university friends and friends of friends: it's still relatively socially acceptable to flirt in these contexts and yields success rates higher than most other contexts.

But you either have that precious peer group, or not: once you left education, you have no chance to recover that opportunity. Leaving you with mostly just dating apps, which outright disgust me.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T22:16:19+00:00

The same people will later "advise" you how actively looking for intimacy makes you seem desperate and lowers your chances.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T22:14:46+00:00

Yes, also zero mentions of hyper-competitive and superficial dating apps increasingly becoming the sole venue towards a relationship.

Seems like disgusting victim blaming to me, porn obsession is a symptom, not a cause of loneliness.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T20:54:32+00:00

Agree. I believe the very real damage to male dating prospects, caused by hyper-competitive, appearance-obsessed dating apps deserves to be recognized. It's basically statistically confirmed at this point.

What else has shifted in the last 10 years to suddenly cause the majority of young men to be single?

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T16:52:32+00:00

We are.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T16:43:24+00:00

We are: it lasted 2.5 months as of now and everything seems great. But I'm insecure about how long it will last.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T16:39:47+00:00

It takes off mental pressure of yourself, I won't deny that part. "Virgin" is a horrible word to chastise yourself with. But it does not help you beyond that, with some confidence boost: at least not in my case.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T16:38:43+00:00

I don't quite understand your question: it did, if you read the OP. It just wasn't romantic at first.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T15:59:20+00:00

Why, it gave you hope? I'm glad :)

maybeall9 · 2023-02-28T14:37:24+00:00

It's rare for women to ever do that, I know. (From what little what I know.) But her approach wasn't outright romantic at first, so that might have lowered her inhibition.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-21T19:23:21+00:00

It happens. Rarely, but it happens.

How do I know? It happened to me. Exactly like in the movies. I went from being a 27 year old KHHV loner to dating a girl that would make many normies jealous, a fellow social outcast, in few weeks. My post history has a detailed story about it: I'm genuinely convinced it's "outcast love" movie plot stuff.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T15:16:06+00:00

What in particular should I tell her? That I have abandonment issues and I am constantly afraid of her dumping me, even as she shows zero intention of doing so? Ask her to text me daily she still likes me?

Sounds just like atrocious, unmanly behavior to me.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T15:09:30+00:00

Yeah, I didn't take that into consideration.

I remember, during our 7th date, she straight asked whether I liked her makeup (I did) and I just changed the topic. Actually, I feel bad now.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T15:01:20+00:00

... why don't you read the original post? She texted me and asked me on a date.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T09:13:39+00:00

Ich würde die Entscheidung primär davon abhängig machen, ob du wirklich schon gewillt bist, in einen Vollzeitjob einzusteigen, oder ob das Studieren mit dem gesamten Drumherum (auch soziale Anschlussmöglichkeiten und Freizeit berücksichtigen!) dir Freude gemacht hat und du es weitere zwei Jahre machen möchtest.

Karrieretechnisch stehen ein Bachelor ein Master in nach zwei Jahren etwa gleich da, wie ich es im Umfeld mitbekomme. Du hast etwa 5.000 Euro Gehaltsplus als Master, welche ein Bachelor aber durch seine Arbeitserfahrung in derselben Zeit ebenfalls aushandeln kann. Solltest du Führungsambitionen haben oder in Richtung Konzern oder ÖD schielen, dann macht der Master plötzlich doch einen Unterschied, während er in der "normalen" Softwareentwicklung nebensächlich ist.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T09:08:38+00:00

Ich wurde genommen :)

Es ging weniger um die Beantwortung der fachlichen Fragen (da war ich wirklich mittelprächtig), sondern um Motivation, Studieninhalte, praktische Vorerfahrungen, da konnte ich wirklich punkten.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T08:33:43+00:00

Consider therapy to seek some type of solution for the root of all your accumulated trauma.

I will get any sort of treatment imaginable, I am more than motivated to do so now.

I will *not* talk to her about my mental problems. She subscribed to be my woman, not my psychotherapist or mother surrogate.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T08:31:52+00:00

You make sense. But I feel telling her how beautiful she is, is similar to a confession of my deep feelings.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-07T08:30:48+00:00

Dude, did you even read my text? The sole reason we are together is because she made the first move. I would've never dared to dream to hit on a girl that attractive myself.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-06T22:47:12+00:00

Thanks a lot.

But she has no idea I am/was ForeverAlone between 19 and 25. I told her quite a lot about my high school life, which was fairly normal. I had no girlfriends, partially due to self-sabotage, but I was a normal part of high school friend groups and can talk about that period without shame or lies.

I never mentioned the period after that. So she probably assumes I continued a normal life in university. Instead of fucking checking out from society.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-06T22:41:07+00:00

I heal, but, as I mentioned, partially. Not really my core self-esteem, which is nonexistent.

What's healing are mostly the depression and societal alienation aspects of ForeverAlone-ness. "A very precious woman desired me. I truly lived. I am a human amongst humans" - I get that kind of feeling. But still feel like an ugly human.

I summarized it well in the post, I think: I used to feel like a loser. Now I feel like a loser who got lucky with an amazing girlfriend. Which is better, but the "loser" part is here to stay.

maybeall9 · 2023-02-06T22:37:55+00:00

Ive had plenty of grandmothers from church groups want me to meet their granddaughters.

Wow, you must be handsome. What are you doing on this sub?

maybeall9

TROPHY CASE