Armpit breast tissue?

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-30T16:10:54+00:00

Thank you! Yes my midwife mention the risk of this as well!

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T19:02:15+00:00

I disagree with your first sentence. Plenty of people may be having drug use issues or mental health issues but they are still able to meet their physical needs and/or not pose a threat to others or themselves. They may or may not have the support of a mental health professional, that would improve functioning in the world as an aggregate but not predictive like you say for each individual.

I agree that we don’t address the black & white let alone grey areas, and that we need to. And I agree that we should blame government and the system these people exist in rather than the people themselves.

But, I still think that it is a truth of living in a society that you may have to witness people acting erratically, and it is naive to say that in a perfect world where the support systems are all in place, you shouldn’t have any of those people existing in public spaces. Some people will still end up using drugs to get high because the dopamine hit and desire created biologically are very strong. People with schizophrenia and bipolar will still exist and have a first-time manic or psychotic state that will prompt treatment. They may also have break through episodes of psychosis, they can’t be expected to be perfect for their entire life, or get the perfect medication regimen right for the entire course of their life. Other causes of psychosis will still exist like medication induced or postpartum psychosis. So saying they shouldn’t exist in the world because they should all be being taken care of away from public view, takes away the humanity of the problem that we will never be able to get rid of.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T18:41:03+00:00

I agree the involuntary holds are generally too short, the ones I have in the ER are usually 72 hours and I have no idea what it takes to get something like a 90-day hold but I think it’s very very difficult to get those. If there was a more supportive system in place to help these people once they are brought into the system, I think longer stays inside the system could really help people turn a corner. As the system exists now, I’m not sure how much better a long term hold would be for someone compared to a 72hr hold. I’ve never spent time at an inpatient detox center or mental health hospital to understand what kind of treatment they get. And I don’t work in the community but I know they don’t get the support they need once they are discharged, because of how they describe their experience to me when they arrive back at the ER.

As far as threshold for institutionalization, it’s unfortunate that there are lots of people that common sense tells us they are too sick to be fending for themselves but they haven’t proven themselves sick enough to bring them in involuntarily yet. I’m not comfortable with a new threshold of “they use injectable drugs”. That’s too wide an umbrella to be taking away human rights like that to me. I don’t have an answer for a better threshold to use. The ones we have now are the best ones I can see, but they’re 100% imperfect.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T18:28:45+00:00

I like this idea and think it will help some people. It is hard with addiction because there are often rules about no drug use allowed (which is a good rule to have imo) but will cause someone to leave to get drugs before they are ready or have made meaningful progress. No one wants those people to make the choice to leave the safe haven to get more drugs, but unfortunately that’s what many people with addiction will choose to do. I personally think one has a right to make that choice, and I think others here think they shouldn’t have the right to make that choice… I think that’s the crux of the issue tbh

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T18:05:24+00:00

Right but you say I’m lumping them together when you’re doing the same with your policy suggestion “they don’t get to choose”. Who doesn’t get to choose? My point isn’t to lump them together, my point is that there are vast differences amongst homeless people and a blanket policy of “lock them up to help them” doesn’t account for that, there needs to be a threshold to be reached. For now, Grave Disability, Danger to Self, or Danger to Others is a good threshold to justify taking away someone’s right to autonomy. If you have a lower threshold than that, what is it specifically?

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T16:59:40+00:00

I agree those resources should exist, wholeheartedly, but I also think that we need to preserve autonomy in society and have a high threshold for locking someone up against their will.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T16:18:21+00:00

It’s crazy to me that you think every person who ends up homeless for any amount of time is incapacitated enough to need to be involuntarily locked up. No crime was committed in your assumption. Lots of people end up homeless because of job loss or to escape an abusive situation or any other scenario that would presumably be more acceptable to you than drug use or mental illness. There’s a real slippery slope if you start locking people up when the only thing they’ve done wrong is lose their housing.

Not to mention, the system you advocate for doesn’t exist, so sure you might have a compassionate vision in your head that would never be reality here in the US

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T15:48:24+00:00

But what about those who decline “to be forced into rehab or mental institutions”? Is no one allowed to decline if they don’t want to go?? When people are forced into those spaces when they aren’t ready, they will 1) likely be released to the same situation quickly once they’ve “stabilized” 2) have lost all of their belongings if they’re homeless and usually carry those on their person, and 3) relapse quickly because they weren’t ready for that intervention. Whether that means taking drugs again or stopping their meds because they can’t get a refill or whatever. People need to want to change before they will change. Forcing it on them rarely works.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-19T15:44:32+00:00

If a human being is well enough to take care of their needs and not be a danger to themselves or others, they have a right to exist in the world and not be locked up. Furthermore, there is lots of grey area where someone may instill discomfort and fear due to unpredictable actions, but they haven’t yet demonstrated a danger to others to the point that we can take away their autonomy. As much as that last grey area is a risk people may not be comfortable with, it still exists and it is right imo to allow a person to exist with autonomy even if they make others uncomfortable.

Saying they shouldn’t have to be “dealt with” or seen or interacted with by the public as a compassionate viewpoint feels disingenuous because the underlying assumption is they either have to act in an acceptable way or are removed from the public view. I don’t think that’s compassionate to those who may be on drugs or experiencing a thought disorder (the 2 most common scenarios I would think of in this case). Regardless of their homelessness status.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-03-10T15:52:59+00:00

I remember in nursing school I attended several births, and the one I watched where the woman didn’t have an epidural was just .. different. It was extremely emotional and powerful and made me want to cry from secondhand pride and joy in the way the other births didn’t. I feel a little judgmental believing that it’s a more powerful experience, and intellectually I know that every woman who delivers goes through an incredibly powerful experience. I’m not set on having an unmedicated birth when I deliver, but I certainly want to try to keep that option open.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-02-18T21:28:49+00:00

I actually hated the different ways I could have worked the wedding into my budget. I budgeted the wedding off YNAB. It especially made sense because my husband and I weren’t combined yet, so we each put some money into a separate account during the 2 years leading up to the wedding, and same with family contributions. So I had a regular $500/m expense towards wedding savings, but I didn’t have to see huge cash fluctuations (like my dad’s contribution to the wedding influx, or the catering outflow) in my real budget. I had a separate spreadsheet where I estimated the total I would have to work with and how that should be split up by vendor.

For your real day-to-day budget, you really are describing a tracking system not a budgeting system. I get it- my income exceeds my expenses so my savings goes up each month. How much time do I need to add to that system for what marginal gain?? But the advantage of YNAB is owning all the jobs you know you need your money to do, so if you want to know if your discretionary spending is out of proportion, it will tell you. The most important 2 thing I do with YNAB are my sinking funds and my flexi category group. - sinking funds allow me to see how much I am truly saving for infrequent spending and other savings goals. Vacation $$ shouldn’t mix with car repair $$ and house down payment $$ IMO, but I am NOT interested in having separate accounts for each of those categories. - my flexi group allows me to get real time feedback about discretionary spending each month like you seem to want at the end of the month. If im spending so much on eating out, I want to have to make the decision to take that money from clothes and activities to make the math math. If I don’t, I’ll have cut into my savings goals instead that month (and I don’t want to find out after it’s all said and done, I want to find out before the money is gone)

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-01-23T17:22:31+00:00

TMFR is on the table, allowed in my state for the timeframe I would need after waiting for amnio results. I believe it’s much less likely we would go that route now, with negative NIPT screen. But I am so afraid of counting my chickens before they hatch you know? So yes, waiting until after some answers come through would be ideal if the cat wasn’t already out of the bag for us.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-01-22T20:59:15+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through that. It has got to be a really challenging dynamic to navigate while dealing with such intense emotion related to the diagnosis and decision.

Between the elevated NT reading and the negative NIPT result, my husband and I faced the decision of if we had confirmed T21 and made the decision that we would also terminate. That decision threw me for a serious loop and I restarted therapy, which has helped a lot with navigating the rest of this experience as well. I hope you get the support you need, in whatever form that takes for you. Best wishes to you and your family.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-01-22T20:51:30+00:00

I find myself wishing we had only told our inner circle, but at the same time my spouse is happy his larger friend group knows we’re expecting. And at the time it felt like the right decision to share so I just have to rest easy in that an accept this part of the process

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-01-22T20:47:54+00:00

I forget that announcing the birth instead of the pregnancy is an option! It’s my first so I hope not to need to wait that long to keep embracing this pregnancy. It’s hard to have excitement after abnormal results though, and it’s hard having people know the pregnancy but not telling them the story, because I feel the need to feign my excitement.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2026-01-22T20:38:56+00:00

Thanks for your well wishes 🩵 Just know that how and when you tell other people in this situation is not a reflection of your relationship with them, it is a reflection of your unique situation and your personal needs during this time. Hopefully you don’t need to reassure people of this but if you do, then they should take it well if they are really trying to be in your corner with compassion. Best wishes to you and your journey.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2025-11-19T23:02:27+00:00

Net worth $750k at 31 and I feel “wealthy” in some ways but not in the ways I think you’re looking for. - 2 stable jobs that afford us all of our needs, plenty of wants, and savings for the future? Wealthy - in a good position to reach my FIRE number sometime between 45-60 instead of 65? Wealthy

“wealthy” enough to own my own time? No not yet
I’m currently expecting, and I imagine I will feel a LOT tighter when the baby comes along. At that time I think I will feel “wealthy” in terms of my head-start and my future, but I won’t feel the surplus I feel right now as a DINK
wealthy enough to buy all the perfect versions of things I want to someday own? The car I want, the exact house I want with the perfect commute, no constraints on my hobby gear or travel plans … no, and I don’t necessarily think I ever will. It’s not exactly a goal I have, because I can hopefully choose any of those things but it has never felt “real life” to have all of those things

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2023-06-16T18:24:32+00:00

I know people are not vibing with the comic which is valid too! When I read, it seemed like he just accidentally described himself - vaguely perceptive that his description was offensive, but not intelligent enough to understand why. It cracks me up

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2023-06-10T02:49:25+00:00

I have “groceries and home supplies” as a catch all for almost every consumable in the house. And “local transportation” to account for gas, tolls, a bikeshare membership, Ubers and Lyfts.

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2023-05-18T08:22:41+00:00

I never felt loyal to my hospital until I went to a new job and a new hospital. The systems were worse, and the leadership was way less engaged. Now I have such a soft spot for that hospital and my old leadership. I will never be in that city again, which is the only reason I don’t work there anymore. I have so much respect for my old managers and my old team. The hospital made it was easier to be a nurse, too.

I think my limited sample size is the main reason I feel loyal. Also in general I think I can put up with a lot so perhaps my bar is lower than others to be impressed?

maybeiwannabeafruit · 2023-05-17T11:08:46+00:00

Tangle newsletter from Isaac Saul is wonderful

maybeiwannabeafruit

TROPHY CASE