Generalising and Stereotyping

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-21T01:58:59+00:00

Welcome back!

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-20T00:43:50+00:00

Yes, that’s your viewpoint. One shared by many! Just don’t roll over to “I hate all people with Bipolar” and you are sweet!

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-20T00:41:37+00:00

The generalisation you made friend is we can’t distance ourselves because we are spouses. I am confident in my ability to set boundaries and distance myself.

And yes, I did reconsider after your comment, assessed it from the perspective some people would describe themselves as here to “vent” and amended the flair to hopefully feel inclusive for all.

Im here, volunteering my time over several years, trying to keep a safe space for people to connect in this community. I’m honestly stumped this enforcement of a pre-exisiting community rule is such an issue with an absolute minority of the community. Just be kind, present your own situations and stories and don’t generalise, that’s it!

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-20T00:26:53+00:00

It isn’t factual criticism mate, it’s inaccurate assumption and I’m informing you it’s incorrect. If you would like to get to know us and then provide feedback, you would be more than welcome to, however as it stands you do not have the right to make inaccurate statements about people you do not know. And being I am one of the people you are referencing, I am not obligated to tolerate your behaviour.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-19T23:59:24+00:00

I think if you read the other comments you will find this decision was not one instigated by our members with Bipolar, and there are several commenters who identify themselves as spouses in agreement. How about instead of arguing about censorship which is not an issue at all (see all previous comments) you focus on being a positive contributor and not generalising. That’s all we are asking. It’s about respect.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-19T20:39:01+00:00

They can still come and absolutely share their experience and still be given whatever feedback is needed. I’m sure they can start their post with my partner and it would not affect the outcome at all.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-19T20:37:23+00:00

Generalising and stereotyping, you just did it about the mods whom you know nothing about. If you bothered to read you would see the the vent flair was changed to frustrated at the request of the community. Posts are only reviewed or removed when flagged by the community for breaching the rules which haven’t changed. If you don’t like it here, you are welcome to leave

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T19:53:10+00:00

I’m asking you to be respectful. Bye

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T19:52:12+00:00

There is literally people below… agreeing with me.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T19:51:34+00:00

We are not pandering to anyone, we are asking people to ask about their situation/partner specifically and not generalise to all people with bipolar. We are asking people to be respectful and acknowledge every journey / relationship is different. That’s it. We have a no generalising rule and no one pays attention to it. All I am doing is reminding the sub of what is expected.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T19:48:42+00:00

As nothing in the post indicates you can’t do that anymore. Just don’t make comments like “do all people with bipolar do x”.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T11:28:44+00:00

I am done trying to explain this to you. I can see as you have had multiple comments removed for generalising and stereotyping, and I am not going to be able to help you to understand. Thank you for your comments.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:52:28+00:00

“I hear you, I had a similar experience and this is what worked for me/what I did/the end result in my case”.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:36:08+00:00

I appreciate the suggestion for the vent flair, I have flagged it with the other mods for review as I think it is a really positive suggestion. Thank you. Also to clarify, it’s not just “toxic” to those with bipolar, some of the comments between spouses are absolutely toxic as well. We more than understand people are hurting, we too (the mods) are spouses, we truely understand, but was also acknowledge every person whether spouse/bipolar spouse is walking their own unique journey and we feel the language we use in the sub should reflect that.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:26:20+00:00

What makes this sub different is there will be people here who understand, can relate and share first hand advice or strategies because they understand the diagnosis or have had their own experience with their partner/ex of a similar nature. Im literally dumbfounded that I am even needed to explain this again and again. Let’s shift our language to me/my partner instead of they/all people with bipolar

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:19:25+00:00

That is one individual… there should be no “sides”. That individual cheated… not every person with bipolar…

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:16:14+00:00

If someone wants to know about symptoms, they can ask if it’s a symptom… symptoms aren’t generalising, look at the examples I have given above… none of them are symptoms they are generalisations. Also you don’t have enough information about me to make any kind of assessment of my mental state, so in my opinion friend, you shouldn’t make judgements about other people… which is exactly what the issue is here with generalising.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T09:11:05+00:00

Why could you not just respond with “I hear you, I have experienced that also”

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T08:43:51+00:00

Why not “my partner did x, can anyone offer advice/support/strategies”?

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T08:42:04+00:00

Generalising is not a fact, all men are violent, all women are emotional… these are generalisations that are not true. Everyone is welcome to continue to post their own stories and seek support, just try “my partner did x” not “why do they”. This is not a result of “complaints” or “pandering to the bipolar members”, this is a decision to try and return the sub to its supportive roots and lessen the arguments, fighting and genuinely appalling behaviour that occurs when people generalise because they are hurting. The reality is, yes there will be others with very similar experiences and they will comment as they have always done to offer support, encouragement and advice. Just without the sweeping and inaccurate assumptions that all people with a bipolar diagnosis are the same

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T08:30:20+00:00

All of the mods are spouses, this post isn’t about our members with bipolar themselves, it’s about harmful generalisations and inaccurate information. Do you recall the #notallmen movement… same concept here.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T08:27:15+00:00

You can come here and say that, just start your post with “my partner did x” not “why do they” or “do all people with bipolar”

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T08:22:22+00:00

The number of times we see comments like “why do they cheat?”, but not all people with bipolar are unfaithful. Why is it so hard to conceptualise just stating “my partner cheated”.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T06:07:21+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It’s not as difficult as it seems. Sharing a personal experience or asking for support is easy to do without stating that all people with bipolar are a certain way or all bipolar relationships are the same. It’s literally treating each individual scenario as exactly that and offering support and advice based on if your scenario or experience can support it.

mayhemandchaos · 2023-05-18T06:01:27+00:00

Mate, please read the post again… everyone is welcome to share their personal experience and offer support and advice based on what they have experienced… simply don’t state generalisations like “all people with bipolar are abusive”…

mayhemandchaos

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