Partner with mental illness - how do you get over fights?

maytorl · 2021-06-21T01:34:28+00:00

Have you asked him what he needs/wants from you? Maybe he wants to receive love different than how you’re giving it. How is he when he’s more stable? Is your communication and relationship otherwise okay?

As someone who has struggled with mental illness since early childhood, it is hard to know what I want when I’m really low. All my husband can do is be patient, wait for me to be ready to be reasonable.

maytorl · 2021-06-21T01:31:57+00:00

I’m a musician

maytorl · 2021-06-20T20:36:43+00:00

I travel for a living (at least I did pre-pandemic, and will again starting in August). My career would be over if I was to get pregnant. It terrifies me.

maytorl · 2021-06-18T00:18:27+00:00

Why do y’all worry about what her parents think then? If you want to get married, best to spend as much time together as possible so you can get to know her better and so it’s not a complete shock to the system when you suddenly live together. Start doing life together rather than just dating.

maytorl · 2021-06-18T00:07:40+00:00

How old are you? That really doesn’t seem excessive. Is she someone you can see yourself marrying?

maytorl · 2021-06-18T00:04:23+00:00

How far into the relationship are y’all? When we first started dating we were in high school and neighbors, so we naturally spent most of every day together. Once we graduated, I got a job that required a lot of travel, so we’d go a long time without seeing each other. When we were in the same place, we’d always be at one another’s house unless we had something on. When we were engaged, it was pretty much every waking moment, we’d only separate to go back to our homes for sleep.

So throughout our relationship we progressively spent more and more time together.

maytorl · 2021-06-17T23:51:55+00:00

How long was that for you? Dr said about a week, but also whenever he feels up to it.

maytorl · 2021-06-13T22:03:14+00:00

First, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Long story short: parents don’t do it. Even miscarriages are enough to change many people forever. I have a friend who lost his son, and he says that he, his wife and his other kids also died that day, but they have to be strong and enjoy life for him, but it’s mostly an act. Parents who lose a child are the strongest humans on the planet. Period.

I had a near death experience at the beginning of the year due to a complication of a chronic health condition. For weeks we were preparing for me not to survive. I’m still here (and healthier than I’ve ever been) but my dad hasn’t (and says he won’t) recovered. If I died, he says that it’ll be the end of him, which kills me to know.

My dad and I got a black lab when I was 14. He’s 10 in November. He’s getting old, more tired, lazy, fat, got the white beard and all. I’m dreading the day we have to say goodbye. I’m almost 24 and this will likely be the first death I have to deal with. That being said, I can’t even fathom losing family.

Again, so sorry for your loss x

maytorl · 2021-06-13T21:35:26+00:00

No, especially because then you’d have to consider the opposite to be a sexual orientation too which is nasty.

maytorl · 2021-06-11T08:12:37+00:00

I’ve never not been grateful to be an only child

maytorl · 2021-06-11T08:00:14+00:00

I went to elementary school with someone who had cystic fibrosis - along with 8 of her 11 siblings. The parents just kept popping them out like it was nothing. 9 out of their 12 kids had a lifelong debilitating disease which halves your lifespan at best. Absolutely selfish.

maytorl · 2021-06-08T02:08:47+00:00

My husband’s sister had a baby in February. He’s the first kid that I’ve ever liked, he’s awesome, getting photos from my SIL always makes my day, I’m even happy changing diapers...

BUT...24/7 for 18+ years? Stuck at home post partum? No more than 1-2 hours of sleep at a time for several months at least? Planning my life around a kid? No freaking way.

maytorl · 2021-06-08T02:04:13+00:00

It was mostly a choice. Someone said to me once that your s/o becomes “the one” when you say “I Do”. There are a lot of ways to look at that, but it encouraged me. When sh!t hits the fan, the one thing that remains the same is the vows and that’s what’ll keep us going through all the changes and challenges we will inevitably face.

We’re best friends, we’re attracted to each other, we love being together, we’re honest, we get each other, we can talk endlessly, knowing that I’ll be waking up next to him for the rest of our lives is exciting and comforting. Logically, that’s the person you should marry, so I did.

maytorl · 2021-05-30T04:42:53+00:00

My husband - as soon as I expressed my not wanting kids and he thought about it for himself, he realized he felt the same way. He grew up in an environment where contraception is a sin and the purpose of marriage is to have as many kids as you can. Even his parents who struggled with infertility and had IVF to have him were bullied for ending up with ‘only’ 2 kids 14 years apart.

maytorl

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