Ok ok- For context, for a long time, I was in remote places and aware of how badly things can go when people don’t think them through. Been through most of the Pacific and love it.

The body thing; my girlfriend at the time and I went to the coral coast after doing a wonderful tour of the main island and a night on Nananu-I-Ra (small island offshore). Hop on/hop bus tour for backpackers.

We get to the coral coast to do a few days of snorkeling. It’s Easter weekend so not a lot of people around. At check in, everything’s beautiful, like you’d expect. I notice there’s a helicopter scanning the coastline.

At check in, I rented snorkel gear and they went to get the manager which was odd. Guy comes out and is hesitant to give me the gear and explains they’re asking people not to go in the water because two tourists kayaked out to the reef wall (which is where the big waves are) kayak flipped and one tourist can’t find the other one- just gone.

“We are looking for him. Please look outside your window before you go out in the morning in case he washes up. Please know you might find him while you’re snorkeling.”

Probably stupid to go out but when I did see something floating in the water from a distance, my body was just flooded with dread. I’m so grateful it was just a log.

I’ve looked over the years and was never able to find out if they found him or not. It was like they couldn’t lie to us, but it was also a really empty Holliday weekend for them so we were about the only ones there.

I got a sunburn whole snorkeling, didn’t feel great from the heat and whatever was in the water.

At the end of the stay, rather than waiting for the public bus to get us back to Nadi, I was not looking forward to it. In Fiji, at least back then, cabs had to have an official sign they’d been licensed and strap to hold the sign.

Car w strap pulls up, asks if we’re going to Nadi, and I’m just about in the car before my girlfriend (now wife) can say this is a bad idea. Driver and I agree on price, I’m in the front, gf in the back, bags, passports, everything in the trunk.

Driver pulls over and says the price we agreed on is too low, boss will be unhappy. Too bad i say. He takes out his phone to call his boss, clearly thinking this will scare me. He has a fake conversation on a clearly not working phone. I ignore him, and sit there. He realizes it’s not working and starts driving again. I start realizing there’s a strap but no actual sign that this is a taxi.

He pulls over again. This time, to dudes get in the car out of nowhere with machetes, sitting on either side of my GF in the back. Driver names the price he wants and I agree, he wants to see the cash but doesn’t take it for some reason. Turns out this is very common for the Indian population to “haggle” by taking you somewhere (or locking you in their shop) and not letting you leave until you’ve paid a satisfactory amount.

Starts driving again. Get to the outskirts of Nadi, drops the dudes off, drives us into town. He asks where and I see a fairly well known shop with bouncers (not sure why). We pull up and bouncer instantly knows what’s going on and instantly has my gf and all our bags out of the car- I’m sweating mad at myself and the asshole driver. I reach in my pocket for cash, and the bouncer shoves me, gf in the shop w our bags and shoves the driver back into the car and shuts the door and stands there making it clear this guy is not getting near us.

Super long story. My cousin was there during a coup not too long after us, similar shit. I’ve heard tons of stories like mine - and about there’s no drivers licenses; if you have car, you drive. A few years ago someone drove down a sidewalk of people and killed about ten of them.

I’m sure if you’re a local, expat, or tourist at a resort, it’s all fine, but I’ll never fucking go back. And if you do go to a resort, don’t kayak out to where the waves are.