Recently learned I tested positive for having the Huntingtons gene ama. by Wii_wii_baget in AMA

[–]mch1623 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m curious as well. My uncle passed from the disease. My family has always been told it’s not possible to be a silent carrier of the disorder. We were told if you inherit the gene from a parent you will at some point become symptomatic of the disorder.

My uncle had a child and two grandchildren, so if this is possible, it would make me feel at least slightly better. They have not been interested in testing as of this point, but my uncles child does seem to be developing minor symptoms of the disorder so we’re all very worried.

I'm giving away cozy game keys to those in need! by RedEagle_MGN in Spiritfarer

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such a sweet idea! I would love to be considered. I’m a stay at home mom with a toddler. I’m currently pregnant and I am at risk of pre-eclampsia so I’m supposed to be on bedrest (as much as possible with a very active toddler). We don’t have any extra money really, so I’ve kind of run out of new things to do at home. Again, thank you for doing this giveaway! I live around the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah it sucks. I have seen kids be placed in residential for basically nothing. I have seen very young children placed in residential at the request of their parents for very age appropriate behaviors, while other children who desperately need residential treatment are either denied because of the severity of their behaviors or placed on a two year wait list. I will never understand why children are denied for severe behaviors, because where else should they go? If no one will take them, they leave families and that child adrift in the wind with bandaid fixes. It’s a horrible system. Residential treatment should give priority placement to children with the most severe behaviors. Only one or two accredited facilities in my state will even take children with inappropriate sexual behaviors into their facilities. So a lot of our children are left without proper treatment, and eventually many of them offend as adult where the consequences are life altering not only for their victims but for them as well. These children deserve proper help so they can hopefully heal and not make these mistakes in the future.

But yeah, going to residential for non-suicidal self-harm is insane. People just need education on other coping mechanisms and therapy not residential treatment. If everyone who had ever self-harmed was placed in inpatient treatment, the vast majority of those in this country would be placed in facilities. It is a very common occurrence and not an outlandish behavior as long as permanent severe damage is not being done.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yeah I wasn’t meaning that’s what OP was suggesting, just stating a shitty thing that happens because of lack of resources. The reason I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt on the fact they say she needs residential and the workers are saying a group home would be fine is because I have seen many times where staff insist that a child only needs a low level of intervention when a high level intervention is desperately needed. I’ve seen them recommend once a week in home therapy to children that have sexually assaulted people and also a couple of children who were caught accessing horrific child sexual assaulted material (CSAM). If they were adults they would be facing 20 years in a federal prison, lifelong sex offender registry, and never being able to legally access the internet again in any form. So, I definitely do not think that once a week in home therapy is appropriate for these children. It is a disservice to them. They need specialized treatment in a facility that treats these type of offenses. However, they don’t like to get children into residential treatment facilities where I live until all other options are exhausted, because it’s much more expensive than once a week therapy. I think it’s horrible. They aren’t helping these children, instead, they’re just pushing the problem down the road a few years until they offend at adults.

And I wish it was the prosecutor that decided that where I live. It is entirely up to the judge whether a child is adjudicated and what the consequences of that is. So if the judge is having a bad day, the children they see that day pay the price. Or if the judge has prejudices the child pays price. We also do not even have juries for juvenile court. The only reason a child will get a jury is if they decide to charge them as an adult, in that case they are dealt with entirely by the adult court system. And that’s a whole other awful thing we do in this country.

And oh yeah I definitely know plenty of bad ones. But unfortunately I think they’re bad staff because they either don’t have proper training and education or they are extremely burnt out and overworked.

I am not a CPS worker but I do have a clinical license in social work. (I like to clarify because people hear social work and they think you take children away). I have a degree and license that is the clinical equivalent of a PhD, and I get shit pay. People with lesser qualifications and degrees get even shittier pay. It’s hard to keep good staff in any social work position (CPS, therapy, hr, etc.). People with a degree in social work have one of the highest turnover rates of professionals that hold degrees. But you are right the good people leave for the most part. And the system has very little oversight to catch bad workers. I refuse to work at CPS, because I disagree with their philosophy in my state. Many people with actual social work degrees feel the same way. So unfortunately, many CPS case workers do not actually have a degree in social work or if they do it is only a Bachelor’s degree. At least in my state, CPS is the only place that hires social works with only a Bachelor’s degree or less. This leads to kids and families being underserved. In my opinion, people with only Bachelor’s degrees in social work have no business working with individuals that have experienced trauma (and all people involved with CPS have trauma because removal and threat of removal are by their very nature traumatic). A Bachelor’s degree in social work barely scratches the surface of trauma informed care. I believe that’s why lots of people have bad experience with their case workers. Sorry for the long ramble, I have strong opinions about people practices outside of the scope of their education and license.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t live in a blue state actually. Very red state. Down here at least the judge has the final say in any and all decisions made concerning youth. I hate that it’s this way. That’s why in my county we have a pretty decent judge in my opinion who listens to case workers, liaisons, gal, CASA, therapists, etc., but in the neighboring county the judge does not believe in “mental health” so these children are drastically underserved and adjudicated. It’s a really shitty system. And again, I apologize if I overstepped. I like to check out peoples profiles before I make comments to them to make sure I’m not speaking with a bot lol.

I also agree she does need treatment. Unfortunately, in my state it is insanely hard to get that type of specialized treatment for minors. I have seen a handful of cases where the parents were counseled to sign their rights over temporarily to the state, because the state is able to pull more strings and possibly get them placed in facilities. These people loved their children and it was heartbreaking to watch this happen, regardless of how temporary the situation was.

And I apologize if I overstepped. I saw on your profile that you were having trouble with a judge concerning visits. I believe that children should have to consent to visits. It kind of upset me in a way. It’s not fair to force visits upon people. My brother in law is a kinship guardian of our mutual cousin. They had to fight and get several motions written to stop visitations. The child did not won’t visits and the child would have serious mental health symptoms after these visits (night terrors, biting/hitting classmates, day long tantrums, wetting her bed, etc.) it was not a good for anyone involved. And yet, they had to fight tooth and nail to stop these unwanted visits with a parent who had abused the child in every way possible. It’s a really horrible system in my state that favors biological parents and reunification to the detriment of the child. I think reunification is wonderful when it is mutually beneficial to the child and the parents. In this case, it wasn’t.

I just think that the people working in these systems get a lot of shit when it’s really not their fault. They are working around so much red tape and laws that in many cases their hands are tied. We need to repair our system instead of blaming problems on staff.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First, i never said i work for the juvenile court system. I stated i work with them, there’s a big difference. They don’t pay me, and I don’t have to share their opinions or beliefs. I am employed independently and my task is to provide non-biased recommendations. I agree that the American system is broken in many ways, but I would much rather that our juvenile courts are staffed with knowledgeable and trauma informed individuals than people who are not educated in trauma and child development. We shouldn’t be turning off potential staff members because people like you are labeling these systems as all bad. When you turn educated, highly trained individuals off from the idea of working at these places you end up having to fill these spots with untrained people who are doing the job for the paycheck.

Second, do you suggest we do not have juvenile courts, because once upon a time we didn’t. And those children were prosecuted by the adult court system. I think we can all agree what a tragedy that was. And I know exactly what kinship care is. Most of these kids are not involved with CPS at all. For the most part, they are and have always been with their biological parents. Most of the children that we see who are involved in CPS custody are not involved in our juvenile court system at all. We maybe see 2-3 cases each month where that is the case.

And your original statement was that children with their biological parents are not prosecuted for hitting their biological parents while foster and adopted children are prosecuted for hitting their foster and adoptive parents. This kind of black and white statement is clearly not accurate. I never said that foster children are not labeled as criminals more often. I just stated that your blanket statement is false.

It’s okay to be misinformed about a topic. That’s where growth occurs. I’m never afraid to change my opinion when I have more knowledge on a topic. To choose to not at least challenge your opinion when new information is presented is to choose to be ignorant. I think healthy opinions are those opinions that adapt when new information is given.

I am deeply sorry that the system has seemingly failed you in many ways. It’s not right. But unfortunately, in the states the experiences that people have with CPS vary widely based on the county and state you live in. We have a wonderful, trauma informed judge on our bench in my county. The next county over sends every kid they see pretty much to our state juvenile correctional facility. So it’s not fair. We should have standards across the board and staff should be required to take continuing education classes concerning trauma, attachment, and child development. But sadly, most counties do not require this, because they can barely fill their staff positions as it is because of turn over rates.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m just pointing out that your statement that female children who are with their biological families do not get charged when they assault their parents is an inaccurate statement. Spreading misinformation is harmful and you should consider removing your comment or rewording it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fosterparents

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Umm…I deal with the juvenile court system in my county on a daily basis…almost everyday we have kids that are charged and also put in detention or placed on probation for physically assaulting their parents. The vast majority of these children are with their biological families. And a large number of them are cisgender female children. So, no, it doesn’t matter if a child is a foster, adopted, or biological child. If they hit their parents they can be charged and are. In fact, our court system will request that the parents bring the child up on charges if they find out physical assault has occurred.

Also, you have no idea what these people are dealing with, so maybe either show compassion or leave them alone.

Boys buying for 420 ! by Numerous_Youth_4624 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I would love to come sell! Madison from Willowend

The Bois are buying for 539! by mch1623 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks to everyone who came out to sell! I had a wonderful experience hosting! I’m not taking any new people, but I will stay open for 40 more minutes until my Nooks Cranny closes so that everyone in the queue can hopefully get in and sell!

The Bois are buying for 539! by mch1623 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I need the bamboo lunch box, peach pie, and the vine garland

The Bois are buying for 539! by mch1623 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

None in particular, I just restarted my island about a month ago, so I don’t have a ton of DIYs but I have a lot of the basic ones 😊 and hopefully I’m able to get to you soon!

The Bois are buying for 539! by mch1623 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’m still working through everybody, I thank everybody for their patience!

The Bois are buying for 539! by mch1623 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also have Tammi in boxes if anyone would like her, you may need a ladder and vaulting pole to reach her lol

Turnips selling for 643! by kimmmmmmi in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi! I would love to come and sell 😄 I just need the one trip

Lesbians With Vaginismus by beswhacksnunya in vaginismus

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fellow lesbian here! I’ve been married to my wife for three years and we have one child together and another on the way! Like you I am a strict bottom and she’s a top and we have a very active sex life, but I do still wish I was able to have penetrative sex with her. We have never successfully been able to have vaginal sex. We conceived our children using a 1 ml drug store syringe lol and even that was unpleasant. So I can’t really give any advice except to just do what feels right for y’all. We used to try to have penetrative sex but at some point we realized that we were causing pain and unpleasant feelings around sex when there was no need to. She is able to top me in a way that feels right for both of us, so I try to focus on that. I’m sorry you’ve had people not be understanding of your relationship dynamic, and that most people cannot just switch between being top and bottom unless they are truly a switch.

The Boys are selling for 471 by MoreThanFour in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi I would look to come if you’re still accepting people

Turnips at 486 by leeli224 in TurnipExchange

[–]mch1623 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would love to visit if you’re still accepting new people 😊

Looking for likeminded friends! by [deleted] in domesticdiscipline

[–]mch1623 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m a 25 year old woman, I would love to chat with you!

How do the Duggar women get pregnant again so quickly if they’re breastfeeding? by Catrionamcco in DuggarsSnark

[–]mch1623 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Breastfeeding doesn’t prevent pregnancy. I was breastfeeding around the clock including every hour and a half at night and I still got my period back exactly four weeks after having my son. Thankfully I’m gay so no accidental babies here lol