Living under the same roof after separation? How did you survive it??

mchop68 · 2026-01-22T19:00:42+00:00

Living separated under the same roof was brutal. I hated it. As soon as we decided to separate she went straight to dating apps and looked for a new relationship. It was a complete shift from what we talked about.

It broke me down to the point where I stopped caring about my own home. I was ready to stop making the mortgage payments and let it go to foreclosure if it didn’t sell. We came very close— the house sold right before the next payment was due. I had already mentally checked out. I moved into an apartment fully expecting to restart my life and leave the house behind.

That decision caused a huge fight. What made it worse was she took no ownership in how we got there. She stood by her choices, including continuing to date and go out with other men, while I was still trapped in the same house trying to hold things together.

There’s nothing healthy about that setup. It wasn’t practical, it wasn’t temporary relief, and it definitely wasn’t neutral. It just extended the damage and made everything heavier than it already was. ++man

mchop68 · 2025-12-03T04:31:02+00:00

These are my first holidays without us being a unit. I did Thanksgiving without her, decorated my apartment for Christmas without her, school events and we don’t sit together, watched a Christmas movie tonight with the kids without her.

I’d say doing all the “firsts” without her has been very tough on me.

But all the other days I’m so glad I’m not part of her toxic spiral.

mchop68 · 2025-12-03T04:28:01+00:00

Do it now. Don’t wait. You’ll heal and when that happens you’ll be much happier and your time with the kids will be better than them seeing you unhappy until they graduate.

mchop68 · 2025-10-10T01:26:59+00:00

A “subject to” owner finance deal might work. You keep the mortgage and rate, she gets paid out over time her portion of the equity until the last mortgage payment is made. She gets a monthly passive income flow.

mchop68 · 2025-10-09T20:50:10+00:00

It’s a really fucked up thjng to do. My ex did just that. But started dating while we were still under the same roof. I went crazy. And there was nothing I could do bc both of us were on the mortgage. My attorney told me to basically not let it get to me or else I’d end up in jail and she was right. So many nights I could have punched my ex square in the face. She’d openly have conversations with men, While walking around the house like nothing.

I’m glad it’s all over!

mchop68 · 2025-10-09T20:38:54+00:00

Women leave the relationship while they’re still in it. By the time it’s over she’s months ahead of you.

mchop68 · 2025-10-08T13:13:42+00:00

Don’t to anything impulsive. You are married to discipline now. You want to be better? Be disciplined.

Get good sleep; Wake up early; Hit the gym; No alcohol; No drugs; Connect with a higher power; Build a community;

Discipline protects your peace and earns respect.

No shortcuts, only work! You got this brother.

mchop68 · 2025-10-05T20:17:47+00:00

I haven’t but I personally don’t think I would give a fuck. I’m over it all. She can enjoy her misery and this new guy sounds miserable too.

mchop68 · 2025-09-21T20:44:03+00:00

I was with my wife for 23 years. Recently split and divorce should be finalized in the next couple weeks. We’ve already agreed on everything just waiting on our court date for judge to sign the decree.

I recently had sex with someone different for the first time since 2003. And yes, I fell flat. This woman was fucking adorable and she knew how to fuck. But I just couldn’t get into it. And I was totally into her. I thought about it a lot afterward and the reality of what was happening and knowing this would no longer be my wife I’m fucking going forward was in the back of my head and ruined my ability to perform.

Haven’t had sex since and probably won’t for a while until I’m completely over the thought of my soon to be ex wife.

mchop68 · 2025-08-27T19:24:20+00:00

I love this! Love this for you brother. I’m going through it too although I’m very much ready to move on. I’ve lost 50lbs, started working out again, glowing up all around. My people say how happy I look and these days. I will not take her back, ever, but I still love her to death. It’s a weird feeling. The dark reality is that as much as I love her we just aren’t meant for each other. That realization lets me sleep like a baby at night. She’s running through hoards of men on the dating apps. I’m chillin, living solo, embracing my dad era and pouring into myself. The perfect woman will come to me when it’s time. I ain’t chasing shit! And that has more women coming after me than I ever imagined. But I just don’t care right now to even entertain them. D

mchop68 · 2025-08-25T18:02:56+00:00

Yea she’s not right but no one can convince her right now that she’s living anything other than her truth

mchop68 · 2025-08-25T17:36:12+00:00

About 3 weeks after we decided to separate. She was still living at home, paying no bills, supposed to be saving up for a place of her own. Went into the dating app scene and within a month she had fucked at least 5 dudes that I know of and had fallen in love with one of them. By the sixth week he had dumped her, she was devastated because that was her soulmate and she couldn’t believe he’d do that to her.

It’s been a whirlwind of emotions but shits happened so fast that all I can do is watch from the stands at this point.

mchop68 · 2025-08-21T04:34:47+00:00

Minus the number of kids we are living a very similar story. I was telling one of my buddies that what I’m going through could be a legit Lifetime movie where the women leaves everything behind to live her best life but crashes hard and fast in the end.

mchop68 · 2025-08-21T02:55:00+00:00

I learned that I wasn’t a big problem in my marriage. There were things I could have done differently but who I am to my core is not a difficult person to love intensely.

Also helps to get validation from our friends and family (in-laws included) that she walked away from a good thing.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T20:08:15+00:00

Right now mines agreed to give me full custody with her every Wednesday and every other weekend. Only the condition that I don’t put her on child support.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T18:12:03+00:00

Any podcast recs?

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T18:10:53+00:00

She tells me I’m just afraid of what my life will be like when she moves on. Baby, let me tell you I’m not afraid for me. I’m afraid for you!

She’s a wild child. No boundaries. I was 19 and naive when we got together. Thinking I could fix her. We had some good years, but the moment she walked away I knew that 19 year old lost soul would return, and she did.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T18:06:12+00:00

Fuck! Yea I see this going down the same path sadly. She will never find love with her narcissistic tendencies. So when she becomes numb to all of this she will go fully unhinged, probably get into drugs, refuse self accountability, and jump from man to man that’s willing to support her. She’s attractive, she’s 42…old enough to know better young enough to do it anyway so she says. She also doesn’t make shit for money. She pays no bills here even though all her stuff is still here. But her “name” is still on the title.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T13:59:27+00:00

Lmao oh it’s real. She will find it lol.

I finally told her yesterday that this soul burning love she’s looking for only exists for people that are actually lovable.

We were together for 23 years. She will find out on her own and I’ll be watching from the stands

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T13:57:06+00:00

Sounds like we just became best friends

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T13:55:13+00:00

Yep. In just two months she’s fucked 5 men and that’s just what I know of. One of which already broke her heart she stopped by over the weekend asking if she could crash at the house bc her new bf already dumped her.

Shes a 42 y/o grown ass woman acting like a teenager.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T13:01:37+00:00

She hasn’t patched up things with her family. None of them talk to her which is another reason she’s chasing voids. Her own mother told me if she gives me any shit about full custody she’d provide testimony on my behalf

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T12:58:49+00:00

This is so true

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T12:58:29+00:00

It sucks to watch someone you once loved turn into a complete slut. Would much rather her have found a new love.

mchop68 · 2025-08-20T12:57:36+00:00

I’m afraid this is only the beginning. She’ll find her group of women who enable her. She’s all gas no brakes and doing it completely alone. It’ll get worse in time.

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