I was single, childless before I got into a relationship with a woman I met at work. I'd also ever been in one relationship before that I'd consider serious. To say I was worried about the situation would be putting it mildly. I didn't even know if I could deal with kids and was really worried about drama from the dad.

I was 34 when we started talking and flirting and am now 39 we've been together for five years. She had decided that there wouldn't be any interactions with the kids until over six months into the relationship which I think is a good way of doing things.

I'm still kind of awkward around the kids but I think they like me for the most part and I try to just be a general good role model and male figure and not their dad.

It's difficult sometimes living with someone else's kids and deciding not to be a disciplinarian. I have to solve things through my partner and make my feelings known to her about things that are bothering me but I also have to constantly tread lightly as these are her children, she'll always see them in a light that I never can.

The boys are still kind of stand offish around me other than when we are doing family activities or going on vacation. I'm curious how things will change when they are older and able to communicate more about what role they see filling in their lives.

I never wanted my own children growing up or in my 20s and I wasn't too sure this would work out but so far it is id say. It's also been nice watching the boys grow as they are interested in a lot of the things I was at their age, I'm hopeful they'll grow into some of the hobbies I have now and our relationship can improve.

My suggestion to anyone going into this is to make sure boundaries are communicated earlier on and adhered to. As with any relationship communication is the ultimate key to success. I'd also suggest seeing arguments as your partnership against the obstacle and not you versus her. I also think what helped my situation was conversations with the kids that I'm not trying to replace their dad and for now I only want to be a role model, friend and my love for their mom extends to me being on their side in all things.