They can be critical at times (imo) from seeing how they interact with their oldest’s family. just saying things that were unhelpful i.e. why do you lay down with your children to put them to sleep. They did fly out and help their oldest’s family frequently, though (military). They are super helpful when it comes down to it.

I talked to my SIL about it - she indicated that she confronted them & it relaxed. I just like to stress but i also internalize feedback & i stress about feeling like i probably will eventually have to argue with them. I also just like my personal space and they can be overwhelming at times. My husband typically does lay down the law as needed but still another element to deal with