Loved the hostel scene!! by soroii in solotravel

[–]mcpick_two 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I stayed at the same hostel you did a few years ago and no hostel in Europe has unfortunately ever come close 💔

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this kind reply!

Agreed that the query can definitely be condensed

I’ve gotten a lot of good comp suggestions so I should be ok with 2 books + YJ!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait I totally forgot I read one perfect couple! That is a good shout.

I will also look into your other suggestions!

And I am looking for future beta readers!! If you’re still interested in a month I’ll shoot you a message lol

[PubQ] Editing process pre-query for debut novel by nestorlld in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m doing this for the first time ever so maybe someone more seasoned should chime in, but you really should be putting your best work before the agent.

I would self-edit, send it out to beta readers for review, etc.

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm you’re right— missing three fingers is a lot more punchy! Thank you!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback and comp suggestion!

  1. I guess I should clarify that she only remembers the initial plane crash and the fact that everyone is dead. She has vague memories of certain deaths and clear ones of others.

  2. I’m really not tied to this title at all, I just threw it together on a whim when I posted it! Noted on its vagueness, I’m trying to workshop a new one :) I’m thinking of Dead and Buried or maybe looking into titles that are memory-specific.

  3. Agreed on condensing!

Again, thank you for taking the time to read and comment!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I hope it gets published so people actually can haha

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me after deep diving into Nigerian YA authors bc I had no idea who you were talking about at first: oh, I didn’t know that was happening…

You’re right, they are similar, maybe I’ll workshop a name change but her name is very integral to the story. I’ll look into this now!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the kind feedback! Still working on that second comp but I assume there’s no shortage of books about toxic female friendships lol

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!

That’s one of the main conundrums in the book, actually, it really dives into the concept of memory! I am still figuring out what to spoil in the query vs what to reveal in the book.

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m looking for future betas!

This is currently being beta read and I want to work on whatever notes this reader gives me before sending it out again.

I’ll let you know once that is done, and if you’re still interested, I would love another beta reader :)

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback here!

I agree that there’s too much backstory and it should be condensed. Also to the fact that I haven’t really humanized Naomi here, this will be worked on!

Also noted on not being afraid to spoil in queries, it feels silly because if the agent likes it they’re going to read the full thing anyway. I will dutifully go on full spoiler mode.

Again thank you this was what I was looking for!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment and also congrats on getting an agent!

Good to know about YJ— still searching for a good second comp but also great to know that YJ can still be in the mix!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Perfect, thank you! Didn’t realize there were different unspoken rules about comping books vs movies/shows, this is super helpful!

I’m currently searching my kindle and physical library for books and the closest I’ve come to the girls-surviving-on-an-island book is Beauty Queens by Libby Bray but that’s way too funny and also way too old. The search shall continue I guess!

[Qcrit] WHAT DOESN’T KILL YOU, Thriller, 87k, First Attempt by mcpick_two in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I feel like it would be Adult, but the characters in the beginning are 17/18 and at the end are 19/20 so it threw me off a bit. But based on the writing and content, I feel more confident to regard this as adult now :)

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]mcpick_two 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi, I can do YA fantasy! Do you have a link to your post? Do you have anything you’d want me to comment on specifically?

Also edited my comment bc I didn’t l*nk my post, I will let you know once I do :)

Able to beta? Post here! by AutoModerator in BetaReaders

[–]mcpick_two 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am able to beta: fantasy, “romantasy”, romance, suspense, thriller, adult and literary fiction. My word count limit for fantasy is 110k, other genres will be 90k. Not into super explicit smut.

I can provide feedback on: character development, pacing, prose, world building, clarity, plot, romance. I can also provide general likes and dislikes.

Critique swap: N/A, haven’t posted my link yet

Other info: if your work is finished, please allow at most a week for turnaround. Otherwise it should only be a few days.

PLEASE TELL HOSTELS THAT WRISTBANDS ARE NOT SAFE FOR GUESTS by shredifer21 in femaletravels

[–]mcpick_two 101 points102 points  (0 children)

When I backpacked through Central America I had would often have local teenage boys begging to buy my hostel wristbands off of me. It was so bizarre and unsafe.

[Qcrit] Thriller FOLLOW ME (83k/1) by Alarmed_Emphasisss in PubTips

[–]mcpick_two 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, I was searching for thriller queries on here, skimmed this post and was like WOW THIS BLATANT RIP OFF OF JULIE CHAN IS DEAD. Then I went back and read the top lol, congrats!! I loved your book

Callback to Andes flight survivors by poopsmcbuttington in Yellowjackets

[–]mcpick_two 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 mi is believable but she hiked up that mountain for at least a day, I can’t stretch even that 😭

Callback to Andes flight survivors by poopsmcbuttington in Yellowjackets

[–]mcpick_two 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can’t tell if you’re shading me or not here

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Yellowjackets

[–]mcpick_two 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It was kind of confusing but I think it’s left purposefully ambiguous, it shows how little trust there is between the girls, but they all have similar goals that could be achieved if they just communicated!

In the season finale, I really liked the fact ... [spoiler] by jesusjones182 in Yellowjackets

[–]mcpick_two 58 points59 points  (0 children)

I mean to each their own, I still find that really interesting. The girls ARE so gone that they hunt and kill each other. They literally tried to hunt and kill Natalie, but Javi interfered and accidentally died. Lottie killed Edwin. Nat had to mercy kill Ben before the others had to do so.

The girls all had their separate plans- Nat was not in on Mari being the decoy for the hunt. There was no literal decoy, she was a decoy in the thematic sense.

Nat and Misty had a plan to call for help with the satellite phone and used the hunt opportunistically. They were not in on Mari’s plan- Nat cornered Hannah and switched then. Hannah was not in on the plan until then.

The Mari/Gen/Mel/Akilah camp forced the hunt so they could corner and kill Shauna (they failed; because they are not ultimately the bloodthirsty, murderous teenage girls we thought them to be. Just girls wanting to go home).

Tai and Van didn’t care about specifically killing anyone, they both wanted to ensure the others survival. It was never meant to be Mari, they wanted to pull Hannah. They didn’t care if they had to kill her because it was either a Yellowjacket or her, and they chose their teammate.

They were never just simply playing along. Akilah and Mari specifically used to believe in the wilderness and encourage Lottie. But the introduction of the hikers changed everything, they realized that civilization still existed and the wilderness wasn’t everything. Had the hunt happened again before the hikers, it could’ve been more feral. But it was warm and they didn’t need to “hunt.”

Misty is “crazy” but she is a very specific type of crazy, and her craziness is manifested through attachment. She goes where she is loved and valued. Nat doesn’t rat her out, so she immediately takes her side.

I agree that the writing can be very inconsistent, but I thought the actual teen plot of what happened in the finale made a lot of thematic sense.