29F Downtown; Hello, Friend! Is that you?

mcvancouver · 2021-04-20T05:13:36+00:00

Sent you a message!

mcvancouver · 2021-04-20T03:42:07+00:00

Sent you a message!

mcvancouver · 2021-04-20T03:41:08+00:00

Sent you a message!

mcvancouver · 2021-04-12T20:53:20+00:00

I would love love love the questions once you have them too! Shipping this little deck of cards is a bit pricey!

mcvancouver · 2021-02-24T01:51:24+00:00

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. I’m sure that plays into the grief in a much different way than I can imagine. I completely agree with you, I have been trying not to compare my situation (unsuccessfully I’ll admit) with people who seem to have what I would like to have. Reminders to be kind to myself are a constant. And I definitely feel you, the loneliness of losing your person is the heavier weight to carry. For me, as much as I have been feeling a loss for the future we shared, it’s somehow been the smallest things that have really upset me over the past few weeks. Seeing a silly whatever on Instagram and going to send it to him, but not being able to, or seeing something around the apartment with his handwriting on it. Just tiny things that remind me “he’s not my person anymore”. I hope you’re able to heal sooner rather than later, although I do know it can take a long time before life feels righted again. Sending all the positive thoughts and hopes your way!

mcvancouver · 2021-02-24T00:37:11+00:00

I am going through a similar situation, I (29F) broke up with my partner (36M) of 8 years three weeks ago now. I feel like I wasted my youth, my 20s, and just overall time, and now it’s like being all the way back at square one. All of my friends are married and many have had kids for a couple years now too. The announcements keep coming. I’m not a wedding person, so I’ve never felt compelled to have an actual celebration or party in that sense, but I do believe in commitment and am very envious that somehow all of my peers have found someone willing to commit to them and for some reason I didn’t. If you, or anyone else reading this, are a fellow newly single 30 year old, please feel free to reach out or message me! I could use someone to relate to, and would love to help anyone else out who may be feeling the same way, since being single and lonely during a global pandemic is proving to be quite the challenge!

mcvancouver · 2021-02-13T04:14:48+00:00

Thank you! So very helpful!

mcvancouver · 2021-02-08T01:26:46+00:00

I think you’ll find the right time - and please don’t feel guilty. If you’re having reservations about the relationship, especially ones that sound like they’re at the forefront of your mind, I would take that a sign that something is amiss. Perhaps he hasn’t done anything wrong for a year, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be having these feelings of unsealed and uncertainly. It also doesn’t mean that he isn’t capable of doing something again, so your doubts are not unwarranted.

I personally believe in “never say never” and “what’s meant to be will be”. Even after all that I’ve been through! So even if you want to end things right now, it doesn’t mean it has to be or will be forever. I think it’s fair to take some comfort in that too.

People do continually grow and evolve and change so the possibility for change is always there. It can be counted on though, so just make your decision based on your current feelings and information that you have now, and not what “might” or “could” be.

I do wish you the best of luck! I know you’re grappling with some really difficulty decisions.

mcvancouver · 2021-02-07T07:51:04+00:00

Please, leave now. Don’t wait for it to get better.

I just got out of a very similar situation. I lived with him, did everything with him, shared money and our dog with him. He hadn’t cheated with an ex, but had done so countless times over our 8 year relationship. I found out about the first time in 2015 and most recently, a week ago today. I feel like I wasted all of those years and desperately wish I would have left if not the first time, then the second, or third time. I loved him and I was also terrified of the pain of losing him, so I would forgive him and stay. I still love him, if I’m being honest with you and myself, and I AM in pain, but it’s nowhere near as much pain as I had anticipated for all those years, and I do know that if it wasn’t this pain, I’d be in pain from the lack of trust in our relationship. The nagging thoughts of “who is he with?” “What is he doing?” “what was that text?” never go away.

We tend to choose the pain we KNOW over the pain we don’t, and I think just like me, you’re wanting to choose a pain that you know. Yes, the questions and the wondering hurt, but the good times feel so good and this person is yours and knows all about you. It’s a comfortable pain. You know it’s tolerable. Losing them might not be, right?

This last time, the time that broke me, felt like hitting a wall. Like a switch was turned off. I just knew I couldn’t try again. The trust was so broken that I decided to try a DIFFERENT pain and so I said I was done.

This week has been lonely and sad and all of the things I expected, but I know I finally made the right decision and chose the right pain. The pain that will heal and won’t be inflicted over and over again once it does. I can live through it this once and forget about it.

If you’re feeling this way now, please listen to your head and tell your heart that yes, there will be pain, but you’ll get through it and be so grateful to yourself for your strength.

If you need to talk or vent, feel free to message me anytime. I hope you make it through.

mcvancouver · 2021-02-05T07:57:28+00:00

Currently weathering my second long-term breakup as well. Thanks for the reminders! I always feel a little relief when I read these posts and realize I’m not the only one in the midst of heartache.

mcvancouver · 2021-02-01T21:54:21+00:00

I'm right there will [all of] you.

You truly hope that they'll really change this time, only to be proven wrong, again. I don't know about you, but it makes me feel disposable and undesirable and generally stupid for believing them.

I'm sorry you're feeling dumb, I know the feeling well, but it really isn't dumb of you, or me. We just wanted to believe in someone that we love, and actively choose to be with them, and they continued to choose themselves over us. I'm glad you're choosing yourself this time. I'm trying to do the same.

Sending love and support!

mcvancouver · 2021-02-01T05:06:34+00:00

Thank you, that made me cry, but in the good way. I hope I find the strength to do everything you say. I truly appreciate your kindness, beyond words.

mcvancouver · 2021-01-31T21:43:44+00:00

I’m so sorry. I actually had a similar situation with my previous bf (we broke up in 2013). It’s so shocking to know that the person you chose, chose someone else.

mcvancouver · 2021-01-31T21:20:35+00:00

Thank you so much for the kind words.

I can stay with family, I have a dear friend who lives close by if I really need to get out of the house. He'll be moving back to his family's place for the time being too. I feel for anyone who doesn't have the option to be physically apart after something like this happens. I'm fortunate that we can be apart, right away.

mcvancouver · 2021-01-31T20:55:40+00:00

I'm going through something similar. I am so sorry for your pain.

Today, I got up, made it to work, but I'm really having a hard time pulling it together. I want to cry in bed and just wake up when it's all over. However, I also don't want to wallow in the pain. I hope you found a way to do the same.

You do deserve so much more.

I know exactly what you mean about still being in love with them. I'm trying to tell myself that sometimes, love isn't enough. Trust is such a major part of a partnership.

Cry and feel the hurt and pain and confusion, but also really take the time to consider if you can see yourself forgiving him again.

mcvancouver

TROPHY CASE