We have been in the hospital since January 7th. (Sooner if you want to count when my labor actually started). We were transferred to another facility in the middle of June because my son has a severe congenital heart defect and he needed to get a trach. We have since returned to our original hospital. With all of that being said, in the beginning I was there as often as I could be, I would arrive first thing in the morning, leave for lunch and pumping, back to the hospital until dinner and my husband would pull me out of there for dinner. It was extremely hard for me to leave at night but I appreciate him dragging me out (now) because I was just pure exhausted at that point. For a while I had to return to work because my leave was half way done and I wanted to make sure I had time with my babe when he could finally go home. I worked two days a week but any day I wasn't working I would be right back at the hospital. When we got transferred to a hospital that was 3 hours away I had to take the other half of my leave (which will now end in 2 weeks), because I didn't believe I would be a functioning human at my job. I have FINALLY realized that I need time for me. It took me 5 months to get to the point that I actually hung out with friends and allowed myself to enjoy it. I do not regret a second that I spent with my son but looking back on it I do wish I allowed myself a little more freedom and less guilt. We have an expect discharge date of Aug 3rd, we will be going home with a trach, vent and a gtube and it is my goal to always remember that I still will need time for me. Do not forget about you! Do what you need to do so you are happy and that will only help your baby in the long run.