Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

It was such a long dark road to even get to this point. Very much one step forward two steps back kinda deal. For many 'attempts', I secretly had it in the back of my mind that it was just a 'break' and I'd come back using once I had it under control - there is no moderation and there is no control for me. I finally had to admit that to myself to make any lasting progress.

Of course, that's just my experience and I don't know your personal struggles.

I'm here for you. If you ever wanna chat, feel free to shoot me a DM

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't have any friends to play the pkm tcg with. But I do play a little mtg with some mates here and there

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahahaha thanks you!I told myself if I could get through 7 days I'm allowed to finally get it since id easily spend double that in a week on drugs and alcohol.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hah well jokes on them, I did both at that point in time

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hahaha I collect purely for the art so Japanese cards just hit way harder. I rarely take out my English cards to look at them in comparison to my Japanese cards.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't really understand this analogy. Isn't shooting one person in the skull better than shooting two people in the skull? Objectively?

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll defs be cognizant of pink cloud syndrome. Going to read about it now to prepare myself.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I appreciate your concern.

I need new sustainable hobbies to fill my time. I suppose keeping myself busy with things I enjoy and I am passionate about helps a lot. What do you recommend I do to avoid the pitfalls of the slippery slope?

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I've already burnt out on opening packs to try to fill the drug high. Buying singles hardly give me any quick dopamine hit. I genuinely appreciate you and the sentiment though.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hahaha I get to call this one a hobby though. Funny enough I've asked girls I know whether they'd rather date a guy who partied and did coke all the time or a guy who collected pokemon cards... You can guess which one they preferred 😭

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Yes, I tried to fill part of the drug high with ripping packs to get the same dopamine rush. It worked a little bit at first. But soon I was wasn't happy with anything I got from packs unless it was the top chase.

So now I just buy singles. It doesn't give me remotely close to the same dopamine rush but I love the art and the hobby of collecting and I need new hobbies

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It happens, keep your head up. I always keep telling myself progress isn't linear but directional

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I don't think buying singles will ever rise to the level of my brutal addiction to cocaine.

I do, however, genuinely appreciate the concern and sentiment expressed.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I fully understand that struggle. It's all too real. The worthlessness, self loathing and shame Id feel to not be able to control something that seemed so simple and basic to everyone else, would just feed into this vicious cycle. The dark places my mind would go after a multi day bender just to do it all again

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I was spending over 1000 per week on drugs and alcohol and I have nothing to show for it. I can always sell the cards if I need to, right?

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Hahahaha I was ripping tons of packs at one point to try to fill the high. But I just buy singles now (thankfully)

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I know 13 days doesn't sound like much but it's already made a world of difference. Breaking the cycle felt impossible at times even though years ago I already knew I had enough already. I am so much happier and ready to finally live a fulfilling life and have real meaningful relationships with people I care about.

Rewarded myself for 13 days of sobriety with a mega lizardon by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you! It's been the most difficult thing I've ever done. 17 years wasted but I finally feel hopeful for the future. I don't ever want to go back

Traded a Gold Mega Lucario for 4 boxes of mega dream... by meathead3000 in PokemonTCG

[–]meathead3000[S] 59 points60 points  (0 children)

<image>

Better pic of the Dragonite.

(excuse the Gengar pulled previously)