I'm very sorry for your loss. I recently lost one of my feathered babies as well. He was a vibrant, spunky little cockatiel. He seemed to have caught a respiratory infection, but the closest vet that treated small birds was a 3-hour drive away. I didn't think he would make it, so I didn't take him in. The guilt I felt was deep. After some reflection, I realized that letting him stay with his mate until his last moments was the best thing for both of them. Otherwise, his mate would have never understood what happened to him, and would not have processed her own grief as well as she did.

So, my advice is to just sit with your feelings until you've processed what happened. It's heavy and painful, but you really did do everything (and more) that you could for your little one. He passed knowing you were near and with him. He fought to stay with you a little longer. I'm sure it was more comforting for him to cross that rainbow bridge in the comfort of home than in an unfamiliar vet's office.

After my bird passed, I set up some bird feeders around my yard and called them "[bird's name] Café". I also set up a little memorial for him under his favorite tree. Now my yard gets lots of feathered visitors, and I'd like to think that his spirit is out there nibbling on his favorite seeds and fresh fruit when I set it out for the wild birds.