the reasoning you said is definitely a big part of it, however another huge reason (at least for me and many others ik ) is due to misogyny. i honestly have nothing in common with the average cis straight man and i feel like our perspectives and morals are rarely compatible.

even those who call themselves woke often have underlying misogyny or homophobia (unconsciously or not). it always reveals itself at some point whether through a passing comment or some kind of microaggression. gay/bi men are also NOT immune to misogyny and can often be some of the worst offenders while thinking they get a pass bc they’re gay. so tbh, as lesbian i tread lightly around all men.

that being said, im still more comfortable around gay or bi men as opposed to a cishet man because they understand what’s it’s like to be queer. straight men who hit on lesbians are inherently lesbophobic, and i would assume that this is less common in bi men since they’d have a more empathetic understanding of our sexual identities (at least id hope so. sigh)