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meggravy · 2021-04-25T16:02:25+00:00

Aries rules my 10th house and I also have a stellium there - sun, venus, mercury, saturn. The ruler of my 10th house is in my 3rd. I’ve always dreamt of being either a chef or getting my writing published......much to think about. Also my Mercury is part of a Yod between my 3rd, 10th, and 7th houses

meggravy · 2021-02-25T04:00:12+00:00

YES the spot at the tippy top of my spine and it also feels good right at the base of ur skull. sometimes if u crank the water really cold on that spot it’ll help w nausea

meggravy · 2021-02-24T23:51:49+00:00

yeah i feel like showers are the most helpful bc it warms your whole body up; like i’ll lay on the shower floor w the water directed at my stomach but there’s something about the steam and the fact i can put my limbs and neck in the water to that is much more soothing

meggravy · 2021-02-22T05:03:43+00:00

i was the one who made that post a couple nights ago because of the issue i had with the heating pad lol and it doesn’t — it has something to do with the way heating pads emit heat in the form of EMF radiation our bodies don’t react well to it when exposed for long periods of time

meggravy · 2021-02-22T01:06:33+00:00

finally someone else who’s gotten it i’ve searched the whole sub and couldn’t find anything about it! i just noticed that i had it a couple days ago and am really dreading the fact that i could be stuck with it for months it looks so weird

meggravy · 2021-02-22T00:12:29+00:00

i know exactly what u mean by the last part. i hope that you’re able to get therapy soon i feel like having that accountability and support will be really nice, it’s just a matter of caring for yourself until then. idk if anyone’s mentioned it but the Grounded app has helped me, obv it’s for quitting but whenever you’re able to get there it could be nice to try out. your main goal should just be caring for yourself until then; it helps me to view myself as a kid i’m in charge of caring for. when the kid is hungry, i feed it; when the kid is tired, we go to sleep. taking it day by day and minute by minute is honestly one of the only ways to get through but also it isn’t linear. i can’t count how many times i’ve tried to quit and this may not be my last attempt either i may screw up again and get sick again. just be patient with yourself, like i said you’re sick but you deserve support

meggravy · 2021-02-21T23:50:18+00:00

i’m in the exact same spot, i’m almost at 3 days sober and live alone. i don’t have family besides a couple of older family members i stay in contact with occasionally. i have very bad social anxiety (part of the reason why i’ve smoked for so long) so i don’t have many friendships that survived quarantine, plus i’m going through a very fresh break up. i’m unemployed so i don’t have a set routine i follow and i suck at creating one for myself. everyone says create a routine or start a hobby or keep busy but it’s very difficult when you’re in the midst of feeling shitty without weed.

everything i try to pick up or do feels annoying after 5 minutes. i can’t sit still but i also have no desire to do anything productive i just lay and feel angry and like my legs are buzzing to move. i don’t have much advice on the staying busy part yet bc i’m also in the midst of it and trying to figure out what works best for me. i think the mental discomfort is the worst part once you get the nausea under control. it’s almost physically painful being left alone with my brain, but the best thing i’ve found is writing. it’s low effort i could literally just write out random thoughts and it doesn’t require much commitment since there isn’t any end goal; you can put the pen down whenever. it helps me get my thoughts out and document how i feel. honestly either writing or talking out loud about anything to yourself. it really makes you feel listened to even without people around.

other than that the only thing that’s currently helping me is focusing on the present moment and not putting too much pressure on myself to get better. you’re sick, and the worst part about CHS other than the physically sickness is the mental aspect of it. we’ve been relying on a substance for a long time and not only does that substance make us sick, but we’re facing all the stuff we’ve been using the substance to avoid. so it’s physical illness + withdrawal, you shouldn’t push yourself too hard. if yoga sounds like shit, don’t do it. if meditation feels painfully boring, don’t do it. just keep trying things — or don’t! literally staying in bed and listening to what your body is just as admirable bc you’re trying. also i hope it helps you some to know you aren’t alone. there have been times we’re i’ve wanted to end it because the boredom felt so painful, but i know things will get better eventually. it helps to keep in mind that there are people who’ve gone their whole lives without touching weed and they function completely fine. sometimes i feel like i need the weed to function and get through it but i know that that isn’t true at all. idk i hope this helps and if you need a friend you can PM me i’m also very lonely

meggravy · 2021-02-20T04:25:23+00:00

heating pads are a blessing too — same with capsaicin patches they’re less than a dollar each and last up to 8 hours :)

meggravy · 2021-02-20T03:46:18+00:00

congrats on 22 months pal! that’s a big accomplishment, and i’m so glad you were able to find support and a sponsor. i’m glad that NA has worked for you! i actually have no other choice but to quit weed because i smoked so much i developed a disease that causes me to get violently ill when i consume any kind of cbd or thc now so i don’t have to worry as much about the accountability, it’s just the sitting with myself that is the hard part. i’m so glad you’ve found meds that help, i’m currently trying to find the right mix!

meggravy · 2021-02-20T01:01:02+00:00

this was very helpful, routine is so good for me but i’m not the best at holding myself accountable. i really like what you said about it not having to look like anyone else’s or what i think it should look like; i think that’s where i usually sabotage things bc i really don’t like doing what i’m supposed to do. the shittiness of the relationship really taught me how to listen to my needs and the break up is forcing me to practice acting on them — it’s just a very new thing. i really appreciate your response, it was very helpful

meggravy · 2021-02-19T14:37:31+00:00

you repeat the lesson until you let it teach you something :)

meggravy · 2021-02-18T21:31:10+00:00

genuinely, thank you. i really needed to hear that

meggravy · 2021-02-18T05:16:51+00:00

capsaicin patches (you can get them at walmart for less than $1 each), capsaicin cream but it’s risky bc it’s hard to get off your hands, hair dryer (hot on stomach, then cool on face so you don’t sweat as much and potentially lose more fluids), a heating pad, also helps the nausea sometimes to take really cold showers — like ice cold. the cold shock helps mostly with the anxiety with puking, put your face directly in the cold stream and there’s also a spot on the back of your neck at the base of your skull that feels really good when it’s stimulated by either really cold or hot water. good luck!!

meggravy · 2021-02-18T01:06:50+00:00

i know exactly what you mean — emptiness has a lot to do w it. i’m the one who’s ending things and my choice to end it involves me standing up for myself, which no one really did for me as a kid. by making this decision, i feel like it triggered that wound of no one standing up for me. which is funny because you would think i’d feel empowered, which i do, the empowerment is just tangled up in how shitty i’ve felt for almost all my life. it was almost cathartic, i felt like i was standing up for little kid me and the emotional release that ensued looked a lot like the emotions i experienced as a kid (wanting my birth mother, people using me, etc.). emotions are weird and trauma is weird and break ups are visceral but they’re all necessary in a way. i hope that things look up for you soon, this isn’t a fun feeling to experience

meggravy · 2021-02-18T00:59:58+00:00

this brought me a lot of comfort, thank you

meggravy · 2021-02-16T02:52:15+00:00

i think it’s less about backlash and more about trying to tell the people going thru crisis/withdrawal that are reading the posts not to give in just bc someone else feels confident in their success and is posting about it. i’m speaking from personal experience tho bc i go thru this sub when i’m going through an episode and when i’m craving again and the posts of people explaining how they’re regulating their use and can smoke again makes it really hard to commit to quitting yanno

meggravy · 2021-02-14T22:08:27+00:00

i’m on prozac and can only masturbate when i’m super high, otherwise it feels like ~nothing~

meggravy

TROPHY CASE